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In my time on Fetlife I saw this so often; women recreating past abuse and calling it both BDSM and ‘healing’. Even then it was obvious to me they were trapped by their pasts and couldn’t move forward. But ‘sex positivity’ meant nobody was saying ‘um, maybe therapy is what you need and not to keep reliving your trauma repeatedly and pretend it’s not trauma this way round because you “chose” it’