58

Show comments

22 comments

58%?????? That’s insane. It DID NOT used to be this way before internet porn.

It absolutely wasn't like this. Never was I hit, slapped, choked, or otherwise abused during sex back in the day. This is shocking, appalling, grotesque, horrifying -- any number of adjectives, and it still doesn't feel like enough.

None of this sounds like sex. It all just sounds like abuse and hate/misogyny. What exactly is "sexy" or alluring about being slapped and punched? And more to the point, I really want someone to answer THIS: What exactly is "sexy" or a turn-on about punching, slapping, or choking someone you claim to love (or at the very least find attractive)???

Women learning to self-harm through sex (and "love") and sick males learn to exploit this for their own gain.

Honest answer: most people growing up today with access to porn learn what is sexy from porn. I didn't see it at all until I was 18 and already sexually active (for about 6-9 months before I saw it the first time), and it was like a switch flipped. All of a sudden I felt inadequate because I didn't look and act like those women. My boyfriend who had been very content with our sex life suddenly wanted blow jobs, which I still thought were gross.

We ultimately broke up because we were both unsatisfied with each other sexually, due to porn consumption. Mainly on his part but also mine.

With my next boyfriend, I sucked it up and did blow jobs even though I hated them and they grossed me out still. Because I had learned my lesson that my job was to perform and look like those girls.

I am married to a man 10 years older than me, and one of the things I loved best about him when we met is that he was never into porn the way my other boyfriends my age were, and we have connection during sex. He's not a pest about me performing and would prefer that I do not. It was a good surprise. This is one of the good things about dating older, at least for me.

Preemptively: not interested in hearing about how my husband is a predator. Often that happens, but he is not.