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Just a random thought. Submissive and Masochist just mean you're a people pleaser. Definition- People-pleasers are known for doing whatever it takes to make other people happy. In other words majority of these subs are just doing to make their abuser I mean dom partner happy. You're not really turned on by the abuse you think you do because your partner is. People pleaser have trouble defending and advocating themselves because they care way more about what other people happiness hence in turn making the susceptible to abuse. This type of behavior could be symptom of a mentally illness/condition like anxiety, depression and BPD which are very common alongside other mental illness are very common in the kink community. I had people pleasing tendencies myself that actually bothered me on the inside but I only did to satisfy others as well so I was able to make to that of proclaimed subs. That's all

Just a random thought. Submissive and Masochist just mean you're a people pleaser. Definition- People-pleasers are known for doing whatever it takes to make other people happy. In other words majority of these subs are just doing to make their ~~abuser~~ I mean dom partner happy. You're not really turned on by the abuse you think you do because your partner is. People pleaser have trouble defending and advocating themselves because they care way more about what other people happiness hence in turn making the susceptible to abuse. This type of behavior could be symptom of a mentally illness/condition like anxiety, depression and BPD which are very common alongside other mental illness are very common in the kink community. I had people pleasing tendencies myself that actually bothered me on the inside but I only did to satisfy others as well so I was able to make to that of proclaimed subs. That's all

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Having dated a submissive man I’m not sure this describes his personality well, as most of his sexuality focused on himself. He liked to “serve”, certainly, but primarily because that itself served his sexual fetish. He was an excellent lover but there was something missing in terms of connection and in retrospect I feel this was because he often viewed most non-sexual activities or interactions between adults also through a top/bottom lens (aka his fetish of submission).

The fetish is real and the people pleasers are real and women are vastly more likely to be people pleasers. They both come from an inferiority complex. People pleasing is a case of extreme self-doubt, to the point you can only imagine surviving by doing what you're told. The inferiority comes from a place of being abused, bullied, ostracized, etcetera to the point that you believe you are beneath others. Women are taught to doubt themselves more than men, which feeds into inferiority but also expresses it differently. For a pure fetishist, the fantasy he creates is also reclaiming control. He wants to direct the whole scene and have women cater to his fantasy world and he feels powerful in doing so. Channeling all the feelings of inferiority into something new obscures the original source of those feelings. He hides within himself. He and the maledom are two sides of the same coin. Maledom also has an inferiority complex - towards other men, not towards women. He redirects all his rage over his mistreatment from other men onto the woman, constructs a power fantasy that denies the source of his inferiority and even denies the inferiority itself.

BDSM is the ultimate coping mechanism.