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Just a random thought. Submissive and Masochist just mean you're a people pleaser. Definition- People-pleasers are known for doing whatever it takes to make other people happy. In other words majority of these subs are just doing to make their abuser I mean dom partner happy. You're not really turned on by the abuse you think you do because your partner is. People pleaser have trouble defending and advocating themselves because they care way more about what other people happiness hence in turn making the susceptible to abuse. This type of behavior could be symptom of a mentally illness/condition like anxiety, depression and BPD which are very common alongside other mental illness are very common in the kink community. I had people pleasing tendencies myself that actually bothered me on the inside but I only did to satisfy others as well so I was able to make to that of proclaimed subs. That's all

Just a random thought. Submissive and Masochist just mean you're a people pleaser. Definition- People-pleasers are known for doing whatever it takes to make other people happy. In other words majority of these subs are just doing to make their ~~abuser~~ I mean dom partner happy. You're not really turned on by the abuse you think you do because your partner is. People pleaser have trouble defending and advocating themselves because they care way more about what other people happiness hence in turn making the susceptible to abuse. This type of behavior could be symptom of a mentally illness/condition like anxiety, depression and BPD which are very common alongside other mental illness are very common in the kink community. I had people pleasing tendencies myself that actually bothered me on the inside but I only did to satisfy others as well so I was able to make to that of proclaimed subs. That's all

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[–] VestalVirgin 13 points Edited

There definitely are male masochists for whom it is not about pleasing the women they ask to abuse them. I mean, women get paid to abuse men in the very specific ways those men want to be abused. It does not please most women to abuse men.

Though I am inclined to agree with you about femals "subs" who discovered their love for BDSM when a male partner demanded that they should.

[–] disco_metal 6 points Edited

There definitely are male masochists for whom it is not about pleasing the women they ask to abuse them. I mean, women get paid to abuse men in the very specific ways those men want to be abused. It does not please most women to abuse men.

Yeah, usually I reject the “oh no you see the sub is really the one in control” narrative, but in this situation I think it might apply