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Typical. Its a hate crime to "kink shame" and make fun of a dude who can't get off without slapping his girlfriend while singing the national anthem and dipping his foot in a bucket of sour cream or whatever. But if a teenage girl says she wants sex to be gentle and violence-free, it's open season to call her frigid and insult her personally

I'd rather be "vanilla" than have a broken sex drive that forces me to use a bunch of gross kinks and accessories just to have a good time

Exactly, the thing that makes all this so sad (besides the overt misogyny...) is that that it shows how far actual human sexuality has fallen. Porn is not sex, "kink" is not sex- they are to sex what MSG is to food... It's an empty additive that pushes all the "right buttons" in our neural systems, but contain no substance or nourishment whatsoever. Even further, they're actively DESTROYING our capacity for love and sexual connection...

People these days don't seem to understand that their supposed "need" for plastic and leather and latex in the bedroom is speaking against their sexual ability... Much more pleasurable, fun, and exciting is true sex- a genuine sexual connection that isn't covered or bogged down by all that garbage (most of which is literal abuse...)

Right? I’ll take my satisfying, vanilla sex any day of the week.

Vanilla is the second most expensive spice. After Saffron.

What would saffron sex be? 😅

[–] Lilith 7 points Edited

I couldn't finish the article. It's so distressing and also difficult to comprehend. How common is this? Which age groups are affected? We need to be asking these questions about these changing attitudes towards sexual violence, while we still have the chance to effect change.

All the generations which grew up on porn and pornified media, though even the generations outside of them are influenced retroactively... But this is most, most definitely caused by pornography and how it (and BDSM even outside of porn, like in fashion or academia) bleeds into mainstream society, but particularly concentrates into young people...

Sheila Jeffreys speaks of seeing BDSM bleed into mainstream heterosexual culture through the prevalence of "queer culture," who were literally just men who wanted to break down ALL barriers protecting women/children/society from male sexuality, which was based heavily in dominating and perverting... I would also recommend Gail Dines if you haven't already heard of her!

I mean yeah. But it wasn't quite this bad before the rise of internet porn. Kink used to be an obscure and reviled niche. Obscenity laws kept things like that in check. Porn was widespread but it was also different. We had "frigid" and "prude" which was shaming women who wouldn't have sex, which I have no doubt was related to mental pornrot. Now we have "vanilla" shaming women who won't have violence, where before there was at least a brief period when consciousness was raised and the wider public was aware of and disapproving of violence towards women. "Never hit a woman" was a meme then, the way "consent" is a meme now. Exactly when did that change?

For an exact time, I wouldn't know- though it did seem to happen within my generation, and I did see it come about though in a way that a frog notices it's in a pot of boiling water after it's too late...