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[–] VestalVirgin 52 points Edited

"Rough sex"? Don't they mean rape?

I honestly cannot imagine that there was ongoing consent. I haven't heard of an epidemic of gay men needing colostomy bags, and gay men certainly explored all perversions related to anal sex that are, you know, fun in some way or the other. (And have more of an incentive to consent to anal in the first place, too.)

We really need to get rid of the idea that consent makes everything okay. I mean, men lie about consent all the effing time, it's almost worthless as a concept. Males first tricked us into tolerating all kinds of shit as long as there is "consent", then went on to define "being to poor to say no to someone who pays for it" as "consent".

[–] Alcachofa 46 points Edited

I agree with you. There's no way she was consenting from start to finish. Rough sex my ass, this was rape!

But let's pretend she was willing to be abused and injured, that she was literally asking them to continue despite the pain... so what? It doesn't matter, people are responsible for the damage they cause in all other contexts, why should sex be different? If a friend of mine asks me to stab her because it's so much fun and I do stab her, will the police be persuaded that it's ok because she consented?
[–] VestalVirgin 32 points

Well, they do consider murder okay if it made a man's dick happy to strangle a woman.

So ... yeah, if they watch "lesbian" porn where women stab other women, they'll probably let you walk free.

(Don't try to kill a man with that justification, though. They won't allow that.)
[–] SparklingFem 24 points

There's no way she was consenting from start to finish.

Even if she consented in the beginning, she must have been in an incredible amount of pain to have enough damage that she needs a colostomy bag for life, and she probably revoked her consent at that point. I doubt she gave consent without coercion though.

[–] Chopu [OP] 25 points Edited

"Rough sex"

I have read about literal murderers using the same wording when they strangle their wife/girlfriend to death. It's insane. Sex and violence have become completely entwined in the minds of these porn-sick men.

I haven't heard of an epidemic of gay men needing colostomy bags

I actually remember seeing a discussion a while ago where a gay man was talking his severe anal injuries for which he had to wear adult diapers and get multiple surgeries. And some replies were saying that even though they are gay, they don't have anal sex at all due to how damaging it can be and how they don't want to get the same problems they have seen a lot of older gay men have. So, these type of issues happen to gay men too.

Edit: Not sure about many gay men needing colostomy bags though. Gonna go out for dinner soon so don't wanna google this stuff right now
[–] pennygadget 8 points

I haven't heard of an epidemic of gay men needing colostomy bags, and gay men certainly explored all perversions related to anal sex that are, you know, fun in some way or the other.

THIS!!

This epidemic of violent porn only seems to result in harm for young women who have sex with males.

We also don't hear about gay men "accidently" strangling their partners to death during a "consensual" bout of choking

[–] IronicWolf 38 points

And yet we’re expected to believe the line ‘men know porn isn’t real’. Then tell me why even men in their sixties complain that their wives don’t react in the same way as a porn actress.
[–] VestalVirgin 34 points

It's nonsense anyway - porn IS real. That's the problem with it. (One of the problems, anyway.) Women in porn are real, and the violence done to them is real. The only thing in porn that's play pretend is the female orgasms. And lo and behold, men don't know that's fake.

[–] bellatrixbells 19 points

Exactly, and a great argument. People are like "violent video games don't cause violence, violent movies don't cause violence so violent porn doesn't cause sexual violence".

Except yes, it does, because while injuries, pain, everything in video games and movies is genuine play pretend, those women are really getting two dicks in their ass at once. There's a level of utter disregard for female performers in porn that there isn't anywhere else.

Plus it's made to allow you to believe that it is real. Not like movies and video games thay are obviously pretend.

[–] nemesis 8 points

My stomach dropped reading this -- especially the startling detail of the 16-year-old raped anally then the article mentioning the recent commonality of double and triple anal penetration. For months I've been compiling certified research on heterosexual anal intercourse and its severe dangers to women. Miseducation on it is prominent, I have even seen it on this site multiple times; so I feel it is vital I make a post eventually.

One of the aforementioned articles reported by Gender Issues found these harrowing findings:

This study also confirms that the predictors of sexual practices are gender specific and informed by the wider patterns of societal gender relations. The variables that exemplified female submission—the acceptance of male dominance and exposure to sexual extortion— most often predicted women’s engagement in anal sex. That is, women had more anal sex when their partners threatened them with violence, they had sex they did not want, and when they accepted a women’s ‘‘natural’’ submissiveness to men. Conversely, issues of hegemonic masculinity and sexual extortion were not related to the amount of female vaginal intercourse nor any of the male sexual behaviors. Vaginal sex did not seem to evoke feeling about power in the same way that anal sex did. This also supports previous studies that found clear links between male dominance, power, and frequencies of anal sex during events not labeled as ‘‘rape’’ [29, 67].
[–] Jessica91 3 points

I’m not sure if you’ve made your post yet, when you do (or if you have) I’ll read it.

The extract you posted made my blood run cold thinking about the relationship with my ex partner but I’m glad to know that there is a link between violence and the demand for anal sex.

[–] iwontbackdown 2 points

i am beyond horrified by this information you have shared, but i thank you for sharing it. we have to know our enemy to fight it.
[–] Chopu [OP] 3 points

The research you posted doesn't even surprise me.

And yeah, there are so many myths around this topic. What disturbs me the most is how the severe harms of certain sex acts seem to be ignored/downplayed. Unfortunately, many people want to deny that for certain acts, there is no safe way to do them.

Look forward to reading your post 👍
[–] pennygadget 13 points

THIS is why the normalization of porn and kinks is wrong! It trains young boys & girls to think that violent sex is arousing and normal. And it also trains them to think gentle, "vanilla" sex is lame. And it trains girls specifically to ignore their boundaries because "kink shaming is bigoted" and "vanilla girls are boring".

Unfortunately, I'm sure many other girls have had similar devastating injuries. And we just don't know because they (understandably) didn't want such a humiliating injury to make the news
[–] nopenottoday 33 points

Men really are animals. They're deeply damaged. I don't think I'm ever going to risk a relationship with another man ever again.
[–] [Deleted] 23 points

After my husband dies or we divorce, I am done. He is grandfathered in, but no more men for me after him.
[–] pennygadget 3 points

After my husband dies or we divorce, I am done. He is grandfathered in, but no more men for me after him.

Ditto. It took a long time for me to build trust with mine. So, if he (HEAVEN FORBID) dies/leaves, I don't know if I'd want to date again. ESPECIALLY since I have a young daughter to think about

[–] Chopu [OP] 24 points

It's scary out there. Men were already so misogynistic before but now growing up watching the most disgusting porn has made them sooo unimaginably sick and damaged :(

Honestly, being single is underrated.
[–] Intuiterf 25 points

I was told by a couple women I know to date older men because their sexuality hasn't been warped by porn from a young age. Just a warning to anyone who may have been told similar, this is wrong- the older guys I dated were just as bad, if not worse.

[–] [Deleted] 4 points

The type of old pervert who is willing to date much younger women is also the type to be controlling and abusive.
[–] bellatrixbells 19 points

TRIPLE anal ???? This is completely crazy !

I once saw a gay porn video of a guy getting DP'd and I was horrified. I don't understand how you can be aroused at the idea that you are literally destroying someone's body for "entertainment" ? This isn't healthy and it isn't sex. It's just sadism at this point.

[–] iwontbackdown 2 points

i cannot even articulate how disgusted i am with that! i totally agree-- this is NOT sex. this is sadism and rape.

and i shudder to think how much worse it will get-- we know that the monster that is pornography, especially internet pornography, will continue to become more and more depraved and violent and degrading.
[–] [Deleted] 0 points

I don't understand how people get into this and it never crosses their minds how absurd that is.

Once, when I was a teenager (13) I got into paganism and started talking to other people who had the same belief. Most were genuinely good people, but there was this one guy who was trying to take us (me and my friend) into a ritual orgy. Immediately, my alarms went off, I politely said goodbye and never talked to him again. But maybe, to me this is easier because I had already developed an instinct for being molested as a child. Still, it's hard to understand how people don't have common sense.
[–] Chopu [OP] 2 points

I don't understand how people get into this and it never crosses their minds how absurd that is.

You have to keep in mind that this is the most groomed generation ever. Not just on an individual level, but young girls are collectively being groomed by the omnipresent porn culture. Look at these tiktok screenshots for example: https://twitter.com/dhruvegobrando/status/1376447965108244486?s=20&t=XtXO2ku8RvcFBOdIghuRWw

Girls literally as young as 12 and 13 commenting they want to get beaten and choked during sex :( I will bet you anything that they are only saying that stuff to appear "cool" in front of their peers. We live in an upside down clown world where desiring tender and passionate love making where people actually respect each other gets you labelled as "boring", "prudish", "repressed", "vanilla", etc. That kind of shaming is powerful especially among youngsters who are usually in desperate want of external validation.

Also, the men that these women are trying to please are not normal. These men have grown up watching the most unimaginably degenerate porn. Good old missionary is not enough for these porn-sick men.

Jeez this comment is getting depressing. I will share something light-hearted I had seen about this issue: https://ovarit.com/o/Radfemmery/36221/upside-down-world-shame-healthy-loving-sex-but-can-t-shame-abusive-sex
[–] [Deleted] 1 points Edited

What happened with society after the 2000s? When did we get to this point? How did we get to this point? I would like to understand this. I think, maybe, it was the internet. Before, it was harder to access the internet. Now, children as young as 3yo have access to a smartphone.

Then, if this suspicion is true, it means that the parents completely failed this generation.

Considering I was born in the 90s, then the 2000s and 2010s were parented by the 70s, the 80s? The 70s are what, millennials too? Generation X? I never understood well how the generations are separated, so forgive my ignorance. Anyway, if it was the 70s or 80s parenting this generation, it is understandable that they wouldn't be able to see how damaging it would be to leave their kids alone with the internet.

I hope the next generation's parents are more careful, aware and protective.

Edit: the last link was heart-lifting, even more to see it was a man saying it. Not all of them are walking-sewers.

[–] Chopu [OP] 2 points

I think, maybe, it was the internet.

100%. Misogyny has always existed but the internet made it exponentially increase and gave the patriarchy a powerful tool to further exploit and groom women and girls.

they wouldn't be able to see how damaging it would be to leave their kids alone with the internet.

Not all of them are walking-sewers. Lmoa

This reminds me of one time recently I was talking to my mom about the topic of dating and she was sooo confused when I tried to make her aware of how degenerate and porn-sick so many men are nowadays. I just don't think people above a certain age have any idea of how normalized porn use is nowadays (and also how much more depraved mainstream porn has become). They still innocently believe it is a thing that only a small percent of lonely weirdo men do and not something "normal men from good families" can ever consume.

I hope the next generation's parents are more careful, aware and protective.

I really hope so. Children need to be protected from this filth. Being exposed to it is abuse.
[–] iwontbackdown 1 points

you really lifted me up with that link to the hear trap tweet-- thank you!

this topic of pornography grooming children to rape is something that makes me feel so incredibly hopeless and powerless.
[–] Chopu [OP] 17 points Edited

An investigation into the impact of violent porn in Australia reveals the serious injuries suffered through copycat behaviour

A SIXTEEN-year-old girl’s bowel was so badly injured during group sex that she needs to use a colostomy bag for the rest of her life.

A teacher who warns pupils in Australia of the hazards of copying violent porn told ABC News about the teen’s life-changing injury.

The country’s national broadcaster was told the girl's horrific experience was just one in a string of serious injuries to result from porn-addicted Australians trying to imitate aggressive sex they've watched online.

Bastian Seidel, a Tasmanian doctor, told the ABC he has seen how those copying behaviour they’ve seen on porn videos can go dangerously wrong.

He said: “We have seen anal fissures more and more. I’ve seen that more in women, so that’s caused by men having anal sex with women.”

The ABC's hardhitting report also revealed the horrendous experience of a woman, “Sarah”, whose former boyfriend forced her into having anal sex.

The 41-year-old was left with nerve damage to her bowel and can no longer cope with hugging her mum because she was so traumatised by the rape.

She warned: “In pornography, it’s not how it is in real life. It’s just not how it is. It looks like they enjoy it, but it really hurts.”

COPYCAT ABUSE

Experts and teachers said that porn-addicted blokes are making their girlfriends suffer.

Cyber safety expert Susan McLean, who advises the federal government and speaks at schools, was among several experts revealing how high school girls were being seriously injured when their boyfriends try to imitate what they’ve seen in porn.

She said their copycat behaviour involved using objects, and tended to be “quite violent or being tied up”.

The girls “often feel very powerless to say ‘no’,” Ms McLean added.

The ABC said Australia ranks ninth for visitors to websites such as PornHub behind India, the UK and the US – but also boasts one of the longer average viewing times.

Porn education organisation Reality And Risk told the broadcaster its research showed that close to 90 per cent of the most popular porn viewed includes physical aggression.

This issue has been delved into by RMIT senior lecturer Meagan Tyler, who said overseas pornographers, particularly in the US, have deliberately made their content more violent.

She said many producers would say the porn they put out is based on demand on mainly male viewers.

As a result of boundaries being continually pushed, porn was showing “things like double and triple anal… and things like choking as well”.

In Australia, online porn is regulated by the eSafety Commissioner, Julie Inman Grant, who has no power to order foreign websites to take down violent porn.

However, content classified as X18+ (explicit sex) cannot be hosted in the country, explained the ABC.

The broadcaster spoke with Australian pornographer Garion Hall, who has got around that regulation by relocating his operation to Amsterdam, where his domain is hosted.

He said that in America, porn falls under the country’s freedom of speech rules, so they can get away with “producing some pretty extreme stuff that in Australia would never fly.”

Mr Hall said, though, that he doesn’t believe the industry is drifting more towards aggressive porn, particularly when producers such as himself make porn which is “happy and consenting , really friendly, fun and engaging.”

Porn is getting more and more violent and degenerate and the men are demanding their girlfriends to do what they see the girls and women in porn do. Also, ugh at the last part of the article with the dude talking about hApPy and fUn porn... like no... It's not fun or truly consensual if a woman is only doing it out of financial desperation and/or if she was pressured and/or if she cannot withdraw consent.
[–] Kevina 13 points

What we need to do is teach girls and women that "No" is a complete sentence. Anal? No. Polyamoury? No. You want to watch porn and play video games all day? No.

[–] proudcatlady 23 points

How the fuck are you going to teach women that when the second they finish their conversation with you, they are punished and isolated and mocked and discarded and abandoned every time they tell a man “no”?

We need to teach every XY that harming a woman or girl in ANY way no matter WHAT she said will result in him rotting in a prison cell until he dies. That’s what we need to do.

[–] VestalVirgin 15 points

Learn from Christianity. Teach them that being mocked and punished is proof they did the virtuous thing.

I'm only half joking. Christianity is a religion that managed to rise to power despite originating in an oppressed people. And I think developing a mindset that made the first Christians immune to the usual social punishment methods might have been key for that.

It's really only a guess, but having this Christian mindset might be what makes J.K. Rowling so wholly immune to TRA threats. In every other Harry Potter book, Harry is unjustly hated and mocked by his peers, and he never even considers bowing to that pressure and starting to think the same way everyone else thinks.

In Dumbledore's words, which spring right from J.K. Rowling's mind: We must choose what is right over what is easy.

And then we will have this warm fuzzy feeling of having done the right thing to insulate us from the pain of being isolated, mocked and abandoned.

[–] Kevina 7 points

I'm fine with that option as well (them rotting in prison). I just...stopped dating men during my younger years, and it was really only by accident that I found one I was willing to date in my late 40's. And by then I had a lot more confidence and had no problem saying that I'm not about to do anything that you're not willing to do.

they are punished and isolated and mocked and discarded and abandoned every time they tell a man “no”

given the choice between that and a colostomy bag, or doing something that very few people on earth enjoy, I know which one I'd choose.

[–] Lilith 9 points

Well it would also be really nice if we didn't condition boys from their first ball drop or earlier to see women and girls as a dumping station and punching bag. The least we could do as a society is to rid ourselves of pornography which is all violence and degrading and helping to condition men that way.

[–] Kevina 6 points

I agree. I had no idea what pornography had turned into 9ver the last 25 years. My last recollections of it were Boogie Nights style stuff. Seems like it's easier to get a guy to try to turn his dick into a vagina than it is to get them to stop watching porn.

[–] cupcakes_and_shiraz 3 points

I read about this a couple of years ago, when the article first came out. You can't tell me that sex pozzie culture and magazines like Teen Vogue aren't complicit in this.

[–] RawSienna 5 points

Were there any charges for her torturer-rapists?
[–] Chopu [OP] 3 points

I just tried googling it but all the articles about this case don't seem to mention anything about the perpetrators.
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