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Hope this is alright to post here, someone posted it in the comments of another thread/circle and I found it to be a very eye-opening read and think it deserves a post all its own. It is quite long, however:

Link to the article

A few of my thoughts on it:

Boys Don't Cry was one of the various movies I watched while transitioning that solidified the narrative I had started to form around my "male gender identity". The article highlights how very important factors in Brandon's life were entirely exempt from the movie and how it managed to completely alter the narrative of the story. Instead of it being a story about a trauma survivor who was muddling through her trauma with unhealthy coping mechanisms, it becomes a story about a transgender youth who was murdered for being trans. For me as a young child this was a far more palatable story to latch onto as I could also ignore my trauma in favor of the band-aid solution of "being trans". Oftentimes I find that in the trans community you have a lot of blind people leading the blind - blind in the sense that they refuse to acknowledge any factors in their past that are causing them to try and escape their own identity. You see this in the toxic blind validation of anyone who comes in wondering if they are trans. From what I have seen, it is rare or impossible to find anyone asking questions or trying to get more information in order to offer a more informed answer. Even rarer is any mention of consulting someone trained to diagnose or assess - you get the diagnosis from the "trans community" and then find a therapist who will affirm you and give you hormones/surgery. According to the commonly held narrative, if you think you're trans, you are, and this is an easily consumed answer as it doesn't require any deep introspection that might spark memories of a deeper anguish.

It is a cope that goes full circle. One who is trying to avoid trauma within themselves will refuse to acknowledge or question the possibility of that same trauma in others for fear that they will then have to face it within themselves.

The new mission in life is to have people "perceive you as you wish to be seen", instead of looking deep within yourself to uncover what ails you (which is a far more difficult reality to face).

If something can be re-framed as not occurring from a trauma, it is far easier to get accepted in the public eye as a normal deviation of the human condition, therefore making it so that one never has to face the trauma directly.

Hope this is alright to post here, someone posted it in the comments of another thread/circle and I found it to be a very eye-opening read and think it deserves a post all its own. It is quite long, however: [Link to the article](http://www.triviavoices.com/the-inconvenient-truth-about-teena-brandon.html) **A few of my thoughts on it:** Boys Don't Cry was one of the various movies I watched while transitioning that solidified the narrative I had started to form around my "male gender identity". The article highlights how very important factors in Brandon's life were entirely exempt from the movie and how it managed to completely alter the narrative of the story. Instead of it being a story about a trauma survivor who was muddling through her trauma with unhealthy coping mechanisms, it becomes a story about a transgender youth who was murdered for being trans. For me as a young child this was a far more palatable story to latch onto as I could also ignore my trauma in favor of the band-aid solution of "being trans". Oftentimes I find that in the trans community you have a lot of blind people leading the blind - blind in the sense that they refuse to acknowledge any factors in their past that are causing them to try and escape their own identity. You see this in the toxic blind validation of anyone who comes in wondering if they are trans. From what I have seen, it is rare or impossible to find anyone asking questions or trying to get more information in order to offer a more informed answer. Even rarer is any mention of consulting someone trained to diagnose or assess - you get the diagnosis from the "trans community" and then find a therapist who will affirm you and give you hormones/surgery. According to the commonly held narrative, if you think you're trans, you are, and this is an easily consumed answer as it doesn't require any deep introspection that might spark memories of a deeper anguish. It is a cope that goes full circle. One who is trying to avoid trauma within themselves will refuse to acknowledge or question the possibility of that same trauma in others for fear that they will then have to face it within themselves. The new mission in life is to have people "perceive you as you wish to be seen", instead of looking deep within yourself to uncover what ails you (which is a far more difficult reality to face). *If something can be re-framed as not occurring from a trauma, it is far easier to get accepted in the public eye as a normal deviation of the human condition, therefore making it so that one never has to face the trauma directly.*

3 comments

It is a cope that goes full circle. One who is trying to avoid trauma within themselves will refuse to acknowledge or question the possibility of that same trauma in others for fear that they will then have to face it within themselves.

I like this. And I encountered the article back during Gage's cancellation but I continue to find it a compassionate and carefully-written piece. I don't know if I had trauma, but I certainly ignored so much underlying it when I was falling deeper into the promise that transition would take all the pain away. And I do think the existing communities are not the right place to ask these questions, because there is so much social pressure to affirm and validate always rather than to prompt each other to ask the questions that should have been asked.

For sure, an important angle to consider. I myself am not sure that I had trauma to that extent, either, but other things that culminated into a mess of confusion and self-hatred (and especially hatred towards my body for being female).

I think one thing that is for sure about this is that it sort of acts like a catch-all for a variety of issues that have their roots in wishing to escape from ones own reality/existence - there's certainly not just only one true reason that brings people to this answer.

For sure, an important angle to consider. I myself am not sure that I had trauma to that extent, either, but other things that culminated into a mess of confusion and self-hatred (and especially hatred towards my body for being female).

Agreed. The more I listen, the more I feel like that's one of the common threads running through a number of desister and detransitioner stories.

I think one thing that is for sure about this is that it sort of acts like a catch-all for a variety of issues that have their roots in wishing to escape from ones own reality/existence - there's certainly not just only one true reason that brings people to this answer.

It's why I feel saddened that we keep getting told to shut up, barely tolerated, or regarded as though for us to even exist is transphobic or an excuse for transphobia. Because there's certainly not just only one true reason, but people don't seem to like hearing that.