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The other night I was watching memes with my fiancé. A gif came on that started with some guy in a gym and some text that said "if you want bigger forearms..."
Like many of us, I have dysphoria about the size of my wrists. But my fiancé quickly swiped away.
"Wait, I need bigger forearms!" I said.
"Nah you don't," he said casually.
"Really? You like my forearms?"
"Yeah! You have nice, normal forearms."

Contrast this with the trans/queer community, where my dysphoria was always immediately "validated" with comments about how sexy I would be with strong thick wrists and suggestions for exercises I could try.
Something about the combination of the words "nice" and "normal" really settled into my brain comfortably.

As a sidenote, I've realized my perfect response for the pronoun question, from now on. "I prefer sex-based pronouns."
It's perfect because it's true. "Identity"-based pronouns make me dysphoric as fuck. Sex-based pronouns are neutral and logical and don't send me into a self-scrutiny doom spiral.

The other night I was watching memes with my fiancé. A gif came on that started with some guy in a gym and some text that said "if you want bigger forearms..." Like many of us, I have dysphoria about the size of my wrists. But my fiancé quickly swiped away. "Wait, *I* need bigger forearms!" I said. "Nah you don't," he said casually. "Really? You like my forearms?" "Yeah! You have nice, normal forearms." Contrast this with the trans/queer community, where my dysphoria was always immediately "validated" with comments about how sexy I would be with strong thick wrists and suggestions for exercises I could try. Something about the combination of the words "nice" and "normal" really settled into my brain comfortably. As a sidenote, I've realized my perfect response for the pronoun question, from now on. "I prefer sex-based pronouns." It's perfect because it's true. "Identity"-based pronouns make me *dysphoric as fuck.* Sex-based pronouns are neutral and logical and don't send me into a self-scrutiny doom spiral.

1 comments

I have been struggling a lot with the pronoun question recently, and have had similar moments to the forearms one you mentioned, so I just wanted to say thank you for posting this. It makes me feel less alone as a woman trying to live with dysphoria.