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I don't like the term "toxic masculinity" either. It implies that there is such a thing as non-toxic masculinity, but the truth is that all gender is toxic, both feminity and masculinity. As long as we keep deviding behaviors and characteristics into "masculine" and "feminine" - and I am not talking biology here, but articifial cultural markers that change over time - we have a toxic stew in which men and women can never truly know each other.

When masculinity is defined as not-what-femininity-is and vice versa, we are in trouble. All people share that 'human being and individual' part, which is really downplayed currently, partly, because both the far right and the far left now support the ideas of femininity and masculinity as innate things.

Yeh it’s really bizarre to say ‘toxic masculinity’ so much, like it’s so nebulous. I don’t really get what ‘toxic femininity’ would be either and it’s so vague it’s rightly barely said

IMO ‘toxic masculinity’ is a way for men to absolve themselves of responsibility for being violent dicks. They just blame ‘the culture’ for somehow forcing them to have 99999x higher violence/crime/murder rates than women ACROSS CULTURE.

So it’s not ‘toxic masculinity’ but more accurately it’s that ‘men are toxic’ and need to be extra careful to reign themselves in. Old fashioned people said ‘women are the fairer sex’ which I thought was sexist but I have no doubt now that women are simply kinder and better and this phrase means men have always known they are the brutes deep down

I agree with you that the term 'toxic masculinity' allows men to shirk responsibility for their actions and their attitudes. But doesn't saying "men are toxic" do the same thing? Their response would be "well, we're toxic anyway, so deal with it."

Hm I see your point, but if I know I have a weakness then I can try fix it myself rather than blame everyone else and expect society too fix it for me

"Femininity" and "masculinity" used to mean "the quality of being female" and "the quality of being male" respectively. I think that inasmuch as a non-toxic femininity and masculinity could possibly exist, they'd simply be going back to the sex-based definitions of those words.