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Kind of a shower thought, but I think it could work in certain hostile real-life workplace/social situations. Basically, if people ever accuse you of being "cis" or a "terf" or demand to know your pronouns... tell them you're agender and that THEY'RE the bigoted ones for assuming you're cis.

It's not even a lie because many of us don't believe in gender, just biological sex. We are literally "agender" in their eyes according to THEIR definition of having a "gender identity" or not.

If they continue to ask for pronouns, say that's a microaggression against you as an agender female/woman because you don't believe in picking pronouns for yourself.

If they ask you to extrapolate on what you mean by agender female/woman, say that's a microaggression and that it's not your job to educate them. Call THEM the bigot for not respecting your self-identification.
Kind of a shower thought, but I think it could work in certain hostile real-life workplace/social situations. Basically, if people ever accuse you of being "cis" or a "terf" or demand to know your pronouns... tell them you're agender and that THEY'RE the bigoted ones for assuming you're cis. It's not even a lie because many of us don't believe in gender, just biological sex. We are literally "agender" in their eyes according to THEIR definition of having a "gender identity" or not. If they continue to ask for pronouns, say that's a microaggression against you as an agender female/woman because you don't believe in picking pronouns for yourself. If they ask you to extrapolate on what you mean by agender female/woman, say that's a microaggression and that it's not your job to educate them. Call THEM the bigot for not respecting your self-identification.

47 comments

[–] sealwomyn 61 points

I've been doing this IRL for years in order to get my gender abolitionist points across and can say it works. I also put gender nonconforming before woman/female when asked how I identify, because I do not identify with a sexist set of rules. You can have TRAs agreeing with radical feminist stances on what gender is very quickly and it will get her thinking the next time she's told some sexist crap about womanhood.

This rarely causes issues but if by chance a TIM tries to come after you for invalidating him, then you can play the "wow a binary trans trying to impose the binary on non-binary, nonconforming and agender people" which isn't even wrong by gender logic.
[–] pistachiomuffins 30 points

Another fun one (if you happen to be autistic and want to watch woke tumblr eat itself alive) is to say that you identify as “autigender” - that is, that your gender identity is informed by your autism. You’re then free to state that as an autistic woman, you only feel like a woman because you’re female, and anyone who tries to argue with you is ableist trash.

[–] zuubat 14 points

Amen.

I've always preferred the "play dumb" approach. "Pronouns?"

"Yes, blah blah so we know your gender."

"I don't have a gender. So I guess I don't have pronouns, either."

[sound of heads exploding 'round the table]
[–] glimmer 19 points

I can't bring myself to even pander to their own ideology. The minute we start playing their stupid game, we all lose. I have thought long and hard about how I would respond if someone called me "cis" in real life. And would they say "kiss" or "sis", ha I don't even know how it's pronounced. I would say firmly "I'm not cis." If they insist that I am "cis," I would say "I don't identify as a woman. I am a woman, but my identity is individual."
[–] arikal 3 points

yeah, but then they'll go 'what makes you a woman if you don't identify as one?' and prepare to attack if you say it has anything remotely to do with biology.

I want to outright state my views with these people, but in some cases also just want to find a way to state them and have them unable to attack me for them because it'll make them bigots too.

Anyone know of a way to say you're a woman because you're female in TRA adjacent talk?

[–] glimmer 2 points

I mean doesn't "cis" just mean your gender identity matches your birth sex? Aka, a woman who also identifies as a woman? So I will say I'm not cis, I am a woman with no gender identity. They can make of that what they will, attack if they want. I refuse to play their language game.
[–] pallas 3 points

(it's pronounced like "sis")
[–] SulphuricMirror 3 points

But now that I think about it, since it is Latin, it should be pronounced /kis/. 'C' make a hard 'K' sound in Latin.

[–] Frau_BerchDUH 3 points

This is exactly how we should play this game (unless our jobs are at stake). We're not in their religion, periodt.
[–] Undercover_Feminist 14 points

I wish that more women would treat transgenderism like the joke that it is. Don't even waste time arguing. TRAs and transformers find that encouraging. Just start trolling.
[–] Every-Man-His-Own-Football 18 points Edited

It'll only work with TRAs who aren't up to date on the latest TIM talking points. Fetishistic transvestites know their "claim to womanhood" rests solely on gender, so they're now calling agender and gender abolition "TERF dog whistles", even if enbies subscribe to it. Enbies are predominately female, so if TIMs' fetish is threatened they will readily undermine non-binary beliefs.

Example: https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/TERF_glossary#Agender_.28as_in_atheist.29

Agender (as in atheist)
A dog-whistle sometimes used between TERFs. Not to be confused with non-binary or non-malicious uses of agender.

So make sure you don't come across as a malicious agender to whoever determines that.

[–] estina 21 points

Lmao it’s hilarious that their ideology is so flimsy it requires distinguishing between malicious and non-malicious use of the same fucking concept. 🤣

[–] crodish 🤡🌏 9 points

Not to be confused with non-binary or non-malicious uses of agender.

LMFAO but how can you tell?? How do you know which type is true????? I thought all feelings were valid!

[–] SaintHedwig [OP] 13 points

Lol, and they claim they aren't a "religion". Literally calling people heretics for not believing in something intangible.

But yeah, good to know. The fact that they still acknowledge there are "non-malicious uses of agender" is helpful because the only way they can say someone's malicious or non-malicious is to read minds. Or make shit up. Oh wait. They're already experts in that. :P
[–] Every-Man-His-Own-Football 5 points

Interfering with a TIM's fetish is the must sure-fire way to be labelled a TERF. Other than that you can probably get away with "non-malicious use of agender", for example in a corporate or academic setting.

[–] SaintHedwig [OP] 1 points

Yeah, I was mostly thinking about it from a corporate/cancellation defense perspective. If standing your ground gets you fired AND apologizing gets you fired... well, join their club and let HR try to sort that one out.
[–] pistachiomuffins 7 points

The delicious irony of TIMs saying this shit while simultaneously claiming that they were the first to fight for gender abolition

[–] TwoXChromosomes 11 points Edited

I've often thought about putting them on defense by feigning towering outrage and screaming "DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER?! HOW DARE YOU, YOU FILTHY BIGOT! I'M GOING TO HAVE YOU FIRED UNLESS YOU EDUCATE YOURSELF AND MAKE A PUBLIC APOLOGY!"

I never thought of declaring that I'm "agender" to go along with it, but I absolutely love the idea. I also fantasize about telling them that my pronouns are "Fuck / You" and making them rigidly adhere to that at all times, and throwing a fit when I'm told that I can't have something vulgar as a pronoun as to not do so would "invalidate my innate identity and lived experience".

I remember someone on Ovarit said she wanted to tell them that her pronouns are "thee / thou / thine" and make everyone speak as if they were in a Shakespeare play, and I love that idea too.
[–] SulphuricMirror 9 points

I have thought this before, too, lol. It fits in with their ideology and they can't refute it. I'm an abolitionist, I don't believe in gender. Much like someone can be an atheist, I am technically agender. Come at me, TRAs.

[–] Perseph265 5 points

It does work. If theist weren't seen as the default in this world, I doubt 'atheist' would be a word most people would have in their lexicon. Hell, we probably wouldn't even need it. According to the Church of Trans, GC people/radfems are agender, and we can have a hell of a lot of fun putting the shoe on the other foot and seeing how they like it.
[–] Luckystar 7 points Edited

This just objectively is true. If we believed in genderwoo, we'd all "identify as non binary" or "identify as agender". By the tenets of their belief system, that is what we are because we do not in fact have a "feminine gender identity" or whatever, just a biological sex. I use it all the time too if somebody calls me "cis".

Their own definition of "cisgender" is "has a gender identity matching one's assigned sex at birth"(/sic obviously). None of us have a "gender identity".

The difference is we think the whole system is BS, whereas they think the system is great and there's just some "non binary" or "agender" people that don't match the stereotypes they set up
[–] RighteousIndignation 2 points

I just use their language against them, I am not cis I do not identify as cis, respect my identify, why are you trying to label me, be kind.
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