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It's so nice. I didn't notice before just how many thoughts and feelings I was suppressing on other sites. I never realized how exhausting keeping that up was until I started pulling away from those places.

When I was a "trans ally" (and in my trans-identified phase) I was so drained from the all tiptoeing around eggshells. I was constantly second-guessing myself out of fear. Even in private conversations I feared tripping some invisible wire.

I'm glad I started "hate reading" radical feminist material. Almost every time I hate read a radfem blog I would begrudgingly admit to myself "okay, they have a point there." I did that over and over, comparing it to what other trans people were saying, until eventually I understood that I had been duped. I couldn't play pretend anymore. It took time but I realized that the way my trans friends and I saw the world was little more than a distorted fantasy. Trans ideology was a sham.

Very slowly, I desisted and started critically thinking for myself. Fastforward a bit and here I am today.

Ovarit isn't perfect. Women aren't perfect. There are women here that I disagree with and stances I'm not convinced of. But there are also conversations that make me think and reconsider my perspective based on actual evidence and reason. (Imagine that! Opinions based on something other than thought-terminating slogans.) The consciouness-raising and connecting we do here keep me on my toes. I'm always learning something new. Feminist activism isn't easy. It's painful being reminded just how deep the well of misogyny goes. But you know what? I don't have that constant looming worry that I'll say something to get me tar and feathered on Ovarit. At most the conversation gets heated. The imporant thing is that we're actually having conversations. Incredible what women can do when not being threatened or harassed, isn't it?

I wish more women could experience the relief I'm feeling right now. EDIT: Typos.

It's so nice. I didn't notice before just how many thoughts and feelings I was suppressing on other sites. I never realized how exhausting keeping that up was until I started pulling away from those places. When I was a "trans ally" (and in my trans-identified phase) I was so drained from the all tiptoeing around eggshells. I was constantly second-guessing myself out of fear. Even in private conversations I feared tripping some invisible wire. I'm glad I started "hate reading" radical feminist material. Almost every time I hate read a radfem blog I would begrudgingly admit to myself "okay, they have a point there." I did that over and over, comparing it to what other trans people were saying, until eventually I understood that I had been duped. I couldn't play pretend anymore. It took time but I realized that the way my trans friends and I saw the world was little more than a distorted fantasy. Trans ideology was a sham. Very slowly, I desisted and started critically thinking for myself. Fastforward a bit and here I am today. Ovarit isn't perfect. Women aren't perfect. There are women here that I disagree with and stances I'm not convinced of. But there are also conversations that make me think and reconsider my perspective based on actual evidence and reason. (Imagine that! Opinions based on something other than thought-terminating slogans.) The consciouness-raising and connecting we do here keep me on my toes. I'm always learning something new. Feminist activism isn't easy. It's painful being reminded just how deep the well of misogyny goes. But you know what? I don't have that constant looming worry that I'll say something to get me tar and feathered on Ovarit. At most the conversation gets heated. The imporant thing is that we're actually having conversations. Incredible what women can do when not being threatened or harassed, isn't it? I wish more women could experience the relief I'm feeling right now. EDIT: Typos.

50 comments

[–] AriadneOnNaxos 72 points (+73|-1)

I’m happy it exists too.

Not just the Gender Criticism, but the way a space made for women feels. I find myself writing more carefully, more truthfully, more kindly than I do in other online spaces. I find myself reading more thoughtfully too.

I am enormously grateful to the women who started this site, who moderate and maintain it. I don’t share politics or context with everyone here, or maybe even a majority, but I am glad we are here, talking to each other, finding away to be women online that isn’t 95% about defending ourselves from men.

I genuinely think the matriarchal revolution (a matriarchal revolution) starts here.

[–] PotatoParameter 59 points (+59|-0)

I've always made it a point to see exactly why people hate certain groups, so sometimes I do deep dives into the cultures and go to their forums. It was for my own curiosity (what goes on in the mind of a raging racist??) and because I believe that in order to dislike someone or something, one do it on their own volition, not because someone told them to. Did it for the Proud Boys, incels, the KKK, furries, MAGA, many more, and of course TERFs. After doing TERFs, I realized how the hatred against them was just a new form of misogyny and silencing of women, especially since it takes the tiniest misstep to be labeled as one, the backlash can kill your social and professional status, and it was mostly women who were targeted. TERF is the new feminazi.

Ever since I was young, I've always questioned the status quo and authority. That curiosity and need to make things make sense is what brought me to radical feminism and "TERFs".

[–] questioningtw 6 points (+14|-8)

That is such a wonderful quality. Groups like the Proud Boys. KKK and the like are literal hate groups that need to be silenced. Furries are usually hated because they are weird, which is a bad thing and while there are some TERFS that genuinely seem cruel like Mary Daly who actually called trans women Frankenwomen and said they should be morally wiped out of existence, most of us here just don't want men in women's spaces.

[–] khlarghk 23 points (+23|-0)

I feel like furries have some mental health issues, and from what I’ve heard there is a lot of toxicity and abuse in the community. But overall whatever, is my opinion

[–] Calico 28 points (+28|-0)

In my opinion, the furry community was almost kind of a forerunner to what the trans community is today, at least in their demographics, social dynamics, and interests. They tend to overlap a LOT, which is not surprising to me at all.

Caveat: I understand not everyone involved in either the trans community the furry fandom is like this, but there are significant problems among these groups that shouldn’t be ignored.

Both attract a significant amount of socially maladjusted men who are so into bizarre niche pornography it became a lifestyle for them. While neither concept was originally intended to be a type of fetish, they both started evolving in that direction to the point where it’s undeniably a major part of the appeal, whether they want to admit it or not. Amusingly, both groups are mostly in denial about that part. They vehemently argue it’s not fair to characterize their interest as a type of fetishism while not bothering to hide it whatsoever.

They share a love for escapist media like video games, roleplaying, etc. and both are largely Internet-driven cultures. Their social lives revolve almost entirely around online communities, which predisposes them to a desire to live out their fantasies through the fictional avatars they identify with. The only difference is you can’t exactly get plastic surgery to convincingly look like a purple wolf with angel wings and green hair — so the furries settle for elaborate costumes while transwomen can actually go out and get a doctor to make them some fake boobs and a fake vagina in real life.

Another thing they have in common is a notorious reputation for being permissive with predators, pedophiles, and sex offenders within their ranks (and particularly in the case of furries, even some people who sexually abuse animals). This is where the furries’ bad reputation really comes from, while the trans community has been more successful in managing their PR and benefit from riding on the coattails of legitimate groups.

Their ridiculous behavior (likely fueled by a high percentage of personality disorders and mental problems) is also pretty similar. Furries used to be the ones known for their whiny, melodramatic victim mentality and hilariously over-the-top internet drama way before social media widened the playing field for other types of weirdos to make a spectacle of themselves.

To sum it up, the furries walked so the trans community could run.

[–] questioningtw 8 points (+8|-0)

I think I only know one furry and he just likes to draw human like animals...not really sure if that counts though.

[–] chrysthefeminist 19 points (+19|-0) Edited

there are some TERFS that genuinely seem cruel like Mary Daly who actually called trans women Frankenwomen and said they should be morally wiped out off existence.

Nah, I've read every word she ever wrote, and she referred to the male science and technology of transsexual surgery, indeed all male science and technology, as frankensteinian in nature, not the TIMs themselves. And it was Janice Raymond who said, with which Daly no doubt agreed, that transsexualism/transgenderism should be "morally mandated out of existence", which, as there is no such thing as "born in the wrong body", sounds about right to me.

Anyway, here is the book actually written by the brilliant woman who you so casually misquote:

https://www.feministes-radicales.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/mary-daly-gyn-ecology-the-metaethics-of-radical-feminism.pdf

[–] questioningtw 2 points (+3|-1)

I guess like Dworkins she has been wildly misquoted then. It is sad when it is other feminists did the misquoting. I am not sure I really agree with her on the male science and technology being frankensteinian....but I will just leave it there.

[–] Alexiares 13 points (+13|-0)

I think it is worth being cautious about accepting claims about what Mary Daly said or any labelling of her as a "TERF." She was and remains controversial, but she was firmly on the side of women at all times. I'm not saying she is beyond critique or anything, but let's not just repeat these sort of things without more context.

[–] questioningtw 3 points (+4|-1)

I think I need of actually read her; but some of the stuff she says that I have heard comes across as a bit out there for me. I feel kind of the same way about Dworkins as well. I kind of dislike writing that comes across as esoteric, because sometimes I guess I just don't get it.

[–] genderbender 45 points (+45|-0)

Almost every time I hate read a radfem blog I would begrudgingly admit to myself "okay, they have a point there."

I felt the same. Isn't it funny, how you can agree with something, but than you just push it to the back of your mind because it doesn't support your ideology. But once you've fully empraced the truth, there is no going back. And it is indeed a profound relief!

[–] [Deleted] 33 points (+33|-0)

Trans ideology is indeed a sham. Welcome back to the reality.

Radical feminism is not a walk in the park, when activism gets too heavy at times, I always remember these words by Andrea Dworkin:

Many women resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships.

[–] Rodham 12 points (+12|-0)

It's strange. Radical feminism indeed is heavy, but there is something liberating about it. Centering women makes life feel so much more peaceful and safe. And valuing women in a meaningful way makes life so much richer than when bogged down by the weight of internalized misogyny. Having the permission to voice why things like porn, extreme kink, and gender identity don't sit well is liberating. And having the freedom to hold those convictions and not silence them is empowering. In the true sense of the word, not the inert, everything-is-empowering libfem sense.

[–] XX_Power 3 points (+3|-0)

I agree, it resolved a lot of cognitive dissonance i had around porn, misogyny and of course the obvious sexism of trans identifying men. I only knew libfem, it was the best i had, where else was i to go, to the conservatives who think women are something between a pet and an object? It was such a relief to find GC, especially because I found it shortly before it was banned and then immediately went here.

[–] [Deleted] 0 points (+0|-0)

It is indeed liberating because radfems speak truth to power

[–] labryswielder 23 points (+23|-0)

I feel the same. After being gaslit in several family and romantic relationships, I spotted it pretty quick in TRA circles and it's a relief to have somewhere free of it.

[–] VeggieAnnie 21 points (+21|-0)

I'm happy and grateful, too. I read so much better articles linked here! And it's a breath of fresh air to talk in a women's space.

Thank you to the developers/founds/mods, everybody! I can't say thank you enough! Hip, hip, hooray!

[–] AmyHousewine 19 points (+19|-0)

Entirely agree. Even the heated disagreements here don't tend to get personally nasty, and that's very valuable.

I'm so grateful to the admins, the people who run the technical side, and everyone else who worked for this. And looking forward to being able to contribute something financially to the upkeep.

I love this post! This is exactly how I feel. I appreciate the disagreements on here. I like to hear everyone’s perspectives. It really goes to show that while we all have being adult human females in common we are diverse and can accept each other’s differences.

[–] paintismybff 16 points (+16|-0) Edited

Agreed. I feel the same way. Before finding the gender critical, I felt out of place everywhere. Everything I ever said was met with swift rebuke. I often unknowingly said things that caused reproach because I dont live my life inside a gender fantasy like other people and I'm not willing to be converted to one either. I believe in inclusion, but not at the expense of myself and other biological women.

Being a woman is more than gender OR sex. Its about the combined experiences of all the moments of our lives. All the things that biological women each experience at the same times in our lives and how we cope with that. We have a unique identity and a shared history, and I'm sorry but men don't have a place in that. Living your whole life as a woman matters as it creates a unique perspective that the trans can never access.

For a while I just avoided most online communities and I was fine not talking to anyone ever, but eventually I started to get tired of their always offended behavior. They're like that cookie from Shrek, Gingy, that gasps and says "youre a monster!" Saying anything they dont agree with? You're a monster. They can't disagree without dehumanizing you. Thats another thing I dont accept or agree with. Most people online dont believe in freedom of speech, and thats a big problem for me. I'm entitled to free speech.

[–] questioningtw 14 points (+14|-0)

One thing I love about this over Reddit is that it is a smaller community and the conversations are more organic as well. On Reddit, even the non toxic subs where just filled with so many posts and people went off topic and no one seemed to really talk to each other. There was also way, WAY to many trolls.

[–] [Deleted] 8 points (+9|-1)

The top posts always got derailed by some idiotic sex joke too, or worse a woman making it known she was female and a man immediately jumping in to argue with every fucking thing she said. So glad I don't have to run across that regularly anymore.

[–] questioningtw 5 points (+5|-0)

YES! Or the conversation would be derailed by someone quoting a movie or song! And the feminist subs where ridiculous because there where way to many men posting on them! Girls gone Wired was pretty good, but sadly it was kind of dead.

[–] crodish 5 points (+5|-0)

Or the "rip your inbox" comment whenever anything female related comes up. They're all fucking cavemen, I swear.

[–] [Deleted] 13 points (+13|-0)

Yay! So happy to have you here!

I remember when I first discovered gc feminism. Thank goodness it was on a weekend day because I spent at minimum six hours reading post after post. I literally remember the physical sensation of my muscles relaxing and a strong sense of optimism. Most importantly to me, I remember feeling so much less alone because there were actual living, breathing women out there who saw the same hypocrisies in liberal feminism and tra ideology as I did and they were putting them on the internet! For all to read! These women weren’t being derided or called sexed slurs for pointing out simple facts. Instead, the community was uplifting, helpful, empathetic, hilarious, and it quite literally saved my life.

Welcome back to sanity, I think you’ll enjoy the stay!

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