27

18 comments

This repulsive comment:

"i have the trifecta method not only am a lesbian, I'm a transwoman can't get pregnant and I've been on HRT for over a year and a half SO I'm happily sterile."

OH so you're a man who doesn't give a fuck about whether you impregnate a woman and never have? How am I not surprised you don't care about women's birth control access?

I am really not sure HRT actually reliably sterilizes men, and I definitely wouldn't want to risk it. 😬

Yeah I was just about to ask if it was strong enough to nuke all his sperm. He proberbly chuffed one in a cup to freeze it before he transitioned though

Witches vs Patriarchy is just another example of "totally missed the point."

They allow men on their stupid subreddit so it's not a patriarchal own they think it is...I hate it...because I like some of their posts but constantly get slapped with TRA nonsense.

Same thing happened that always happens on the Reddit Lesbians Subs when something like this gets posted: TIMs have a fit and talk about "Trans women exist!" And their usual Blackhole need for validation

Just once I would like to see the bravest of Lesbians say: I feel sad and angry when Trans Lesbians talk about Girldick because it's Exclusionary and alienating. Cis Lesbians exist.

I stumbled around on r/ftm a while ago and every so often, there were posts about how every single other trans sub was overrun with TiMs who wanted the TiFs to shoo away because “masc presenting” people made all the TiMs dysphoric.

I wanted to write to them: They’re not dysphoric. They know all of you are really women, and men take great pleasure in telling women to shut-up.

So true. But they also see them as competition in the Lesbian/Bi/Pan community.

TIM and Handmaidens: If you're a Trans man, you're a man. Why would hangout in WLW and Non men with Non men spaces? Aren't you invalidating your Gender Identity?

[–] Selkie 25 points Edited

Discussion on the IUD in that thread:

'it's a great birth control method but it's also true that most docs are sexist shitty problems and women people who can become pregnant need to compensate for that'

The doctors are sexist, but reducing women to their bodily functions is Just A-Okay, Amirite ladies fellow birthing bodies?

"birth control ads make me dysphoric as a trans guy"

Well that sounds like a you problem, and not an 'everyone else' problem... She understands that the ad is relevant to her because she's female enough for it to make her uncomfortable, but instead of overcoming her own problems associating femininity with womanhood, she expects the whole world to create an advert especially for women who hate themselves and all other women.

"I'm the transfemme partner in a lesbian relationship."

Bro, dude, just admit you're a man, man. If you weren't a man, you wouldn't be able to get your poor straight/bi girlfriend pregnant, my guy, my fellow, my chap.

Argh. I'm going to stop reading that now, it's making me irate over all the 'what about me, the most important person in any and every room?!'-ism.

We don’t know that one of them isn’t trans. It’s a very cis normative presumption that they don’t need birth control.

Omg just stop

Lol. I only read a few comments on top, and there was no mention of the obvious.

(Of course, realistically, the girls might just be friends and be doing their research on birth control together, while hanging out in the bedroom of one of them, because males are useless. Lesbian interpretation is funnier, tho.)

[–] disco_metal 4 points Edited

I did find some comments I like, regarding "they must be gay" and "queerplatonic" relationships. (I think I did a post about that once speculating about the origins of it.)

I low-key hate this trend of erasing deep friendships because "they must be gay!" It feels like a regression to people making fun of two guy friends who hug or show any affection at all and say they must be gay. Even if the intonation is a positive one for being gay, it still reinforces the idea that two straight same-gender people cannot be friends or show deep affection. And then we wonder why men are so emotionally stunted? Could it be because any time they have true and deep friendships with other men, they get told they must be gay, regardless of if that label is considered good or bad? Let people be friends. An old lady who never married or had kids could be gay, sure, but she also could have been rejected by her peers for wanting an education or being too progressive or wanting a career or being child free. And because of that she has to die alone? She can't find a woman in a similar spot and find companionship in that way? It makes me sad that societally we seem to have gone completely full circle to not letting straight people show affection without getting labeled as gay. And we wonder why people have a hard time forming deep lasting meaningful relationships outside a romantic one...

THIS, look I know queer representation is important as much as the next person and it's nice when it happens but you know what I hate? The banalization of relationships When the slightest interaction is framed as "OMG relationship" it builds the idea of relationships based on very shallow standards, for one I think many relationships go wrong because they come up too quickly or don't have enough depth yet to be established I hate this kinda stuff for straight couples and even more for queer because what I want the most is for queer couples to be stable and happy, not only because.. well it's nice to be happy, but also to end this stupid stereotype that says gay people are hypersexual/promiscuous/whatever shit it is Yes people can go out just for sex I'm not against that, what bums me is apparently there's no friendships anymore, and that is one if not the most important thing to have if one's looking for a partner in life. It takes time, patience and a LOT of understanding to be with someone not just "hehe now they're dating" I know, I know, there's also all the straight couple pictures and all people assume naturally they're a couple so why not lesbians, which I think is all fun and nice, but I'll just point up to my first paragraph

And then someone says

Queerplatonic relationships exist, yes. They're still Queer relationships.

Followed by

...........so same-sex friendships? Every BFF who room together in college are in a queer relationship?

And somebody makes the connection I did

I think both are true at the same time. given the context of what older people went through (and what we are going through now tbh), it's very understandable for plenty of queer people to not be out. safety first. at the same time, this whole "putting romantic/sexual relationships first" thing ("amatonormativity" is the word I believe?) is hot garbage. and we all suffer for it.

Yep, it's amatonormativity, or in other words, society and culture valueing romantic relationships over all others, valuing romantic love over other types of love, etc. It leads people to assume that if a relationship is intense/strong and relatively stable, it's romantic, or that at some point a friendship can no longer be stronger without crossing over into romance

I have a love/hate relationship with this sub. I enjoy many of the posts, and I try to ignore the handmaiden BS. So I was pleasantly surprised to see the number of women saying how lovely it was to see an advertisement inadvertently promoting lesbianism as a form of birth control. Of course, there were other comments criticizing the ad for not being trans-inclusive, but it was refreshing to see.

Not men crying about men being “emotionally stunted” because they get called gay if they have a close male friend. Just SHUT UP