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That entire reply was brimming with the obvious expectation and hope that this woman would give her stalker a chance. Every line was just laden with hint hint, you're supposed to reciprocate and tell Kay what a beautiful womanly flower she is and also let her paw at you however she wants. The complete disregard for OP's feelings--which she could not possibly have stated more clearly throughout the entire post; she does not like this man and has not the slightest drop of attraction or interest in him--was almost laughable, it was so audacious.

"So you keep rejecting Kay - either on purpose, or inadvertently. She’s craving the attention you’re not giving." This poor, dear, neglected TIM, just trying to express his ~love language~ with touch because the woman he wants is like an apple pie that his mean nasty mother told him he couldn't eat, is craving attention that OP refuses to give--perhaps inadvertently, the commenter wonders? Surely, even if she has somehow been ignorant enough not to realize she has been neglecting her TIM-validation duties, she wouldn't dream of refusing if she only knew that this fragile flower was pining for her?

Of course not. This must all just have been a terrible misunderstanding. Everything has been straightened out now, so naturally the sucking of the ladydique will commence forthwith.

I think the apple pie analogy is on point, because I’m guessing that if ‘Kay’ is really into coercing women, the woman who grey-rocks him so thoroughly without even seeming to realize she’s doing it must be driving him crazy.

If this types weren’t so grotesque and potentially threatening, it would be amusing if a woman tried to out-crazy them: the class AGP gloms on to you? Become ‘best friends.’ Call him for a ride at three am drunk and needing a way home (then barf in his car.) Obsessively turn any meet-ups into self-serving things for you: invite him for a drink at your place only to join you in de-grouting tile. Suggest browsing a garden center so you can ask him to move 50 lb bags of mulch. Whatever he wants to talk about, immediately turn the conversation back to your own bugaboos: the decade long feud with a sibling, the frenemy at work who stresses you out, your own neuroses about how you look, the subject doesn’t really matter just pay absolutely no attention to what he wants to discuss and bang on endlessly about your own grievances. Etc.

I am concerned for her, because this guy is escalating and her lack of awareness could get her into more danger, but it’s also fascinating that she’s unwittingly providing a masterclass in how not to play along with the AGP delusions.

In typical male form, he is using a lot of feigned incompetence to get close to someone he perceives as a challenge, but she is not having it and it's just eating up his precious little ego.

Obsessively turn any meet-ups into self-serving things for you: invite him for a drink at your place only to join you in de-grouting tile. Suggest browsing a garden center so you can ask him to move 50 lb bags of mulch.

Pathetic men will play along with this sort of thing though and then blame the women who "used" them. So, TIM or not, I don't recommend this.

You're right, it's funny to think about, but in reality these guys are too entitled and unstable for it to be safe to interact with them at all if it can be avoided.

[–] pentaghast 2 points Edited

Sadly (or...maybe happily, I don't even know) I can't take credit for the apple pie analogy, because it's what the creep in the comments actually said.

"I’ll keep this as simple as possible: people are often interested in the things they can’t have.

For example, if your mom bakes an apple pie and says “this delicious pie is off-limits”, there’s a sense the pie is now more appealing. And you get hungrier looking at it."

I do love the idea of out-crazying the TIMs, but alas, you are right, they're too volatile and it could end badly. I think the best thing for the poor OP would be to document, report, and otherwise keep doing what she's doing until she can get someone to keep him away from her.