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43 comments

I think the apple pie analogy is on point, because I’m guessing that if ‘Kay’ is really into coercing women, the woman who grey-rocks him so thoroughly without even seeming to realize she’s doing it must be driving him crazy.

If this types weren’t so grotesque and potentially threatening, it would be amusing if a woman tried to out-crazy them: the class AGP gloms on to you? Become ‘best friends.’ Call him for a ride at three am drunk and needing a way home (then barf in his car.) Obsessively turn any meet-ups into self-serving things for you: invite him for a drink at your place only to join you in de-grouting tile. Suggest browsing a garden center so you can ask him to move 50 lb bags of mulch. Whatever he wants to talk about, immediately turn the conversation back to your own bugaboos: the decade long feud with a sibling, the frenemy at work who stresses you out, your own neuroses about how you look, the subject doesn’t really matter just pay absolutely no attention to what he wants to discuss and bang on endlessly about your own grievances. Etc.

I am concerned for her, because this guy is escalating and her lack of awareness could get her into more danger, but it’s also fascinating that she’s unwittingly providing a masterclass in how not to play along with the AGP delusions.

[–] pentaghast 2 points Edited

Sadly (or...maybe happily, I don't even know) I can't take credit for the apple pie analogy, because it's what the creep in the comments actually said.

"I’ll keep this as simple as possible: people are often interested in the things they can’t have.

For example, if your mom bakes an apple pie and says “this delicious pie is off-limits”, there’s a sense the pie is now more appealing. And you get hungrier looking at it."

I do love the idea of out-crazying the TIMs, but alas, you are right, they're too volatile and it could end badly. I think the best thing for the poor OP would be to document, report, and otherwise keep doing what she's doing until she can get someone to keep him away from her.