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43 comments

She needs to skip the program coordinator and go straight to the police. "Kay" tried to get her phone number from other people after she had said no. That's bad enough, but he also stalked her into a secluded, wooded area and started swearing at her when he got caught at it. This dude is going to hurt her.

Dress rehearsal for attempting to rape OP.

Or even worse... I read all their comments about wishing to wear women's skins and their fascination with Buffalo Bill

The biggest incident happened last week after class where I was walking in a secluded area of the grounds which is a forest area, I actually had walked the wrong way so I turned around to find Kay had followed there. She started swearing at me but I just started at her and said 'what?' Then she was like 'I'm sorry' then quickly walked off somewhere so I just went back to the main area then went home.

This bloke is stalking her. She's in danger.

That paragraph gave me chills!

I went over to the thread, I'm not the only person who has had their stalker alert go off big time.

The op is autistic and may not grasp the danger they're in. My Spidey sense for male violence is screaming at me. He's already followed her to an isolated location and tried to get her number and keeps touching her.

Kay may not know you’re on the spectrum and is likely misinterpreting your affect. It might be good to tell her that and let her know what it means. And then let her know you’re uncomfortable with the attention and see how she reacts.

OP doesn't owe this creep an explanation for her disinterest, Kay just needs to take a hint and fuck off, instead of being a typical male who takes a firm "no" as a "try harder".

That entire reply was brimming with the obvious expectation and hope that this woman would give her stalker a chance. Every line was just laden with hint hint, you're supposed to reciprocate and tell Kay what a beautiful womanly flower she is and also let her paw at you however she wants. The complete disregard for OP's feelings--which she could not possibly have stated more clearly throughout the entire post; she does not like this man and has not the slightest drop of attraction or interest in him--was almost laughable, it was so audacious.

"So you keep rejecting Kay - either on purpose, or inadvertently. She’s craving the attention you’re not giving." This poor, dear, neglected TIM, just trying to express his ~love language~ with touch because the woman he wants is like an apple pie that his mean nasty mother told him he couldn't eat, is craving attention that OP refuses to give--perhaps inadvertently, the commenter wonders? Surely, even if she has somehow been ignorant enough not to realize she has been neglecting her TIM-validation duties, she wouldn't dream of refusing if she only knew that this fragile flower was pining for her?

Of course not. This must all just have been a terrible misunderstanding. Everything has been straightened out now, so naturally the sucking of the ladydique will commence forthwith.

I think the apple pie analogy is on point, because I’m guessing that if ‘Kay’ is really into coercing women, the woman who grey-rocks him so thoroughly without even seeming to realize she’s doing it must be driving him crazy.

If this types weren’t so grotesque and potentially threatening, it would be amusing if a woman tried to out-crazy them: the class AGP gloms on to you? Become ‘best friends.’ Call him for a ride at three am drunk and needing a way home (then barf in his car.) Obsessively turn any meet-ups into self-serving things for you: invite him for a drink at your place only to join you in de-grouting tile. Suggest browsing a garden center so you can ask him to move 50 lb bags of mulch. Whatever he wants to talk about, immediately turn the conversation back to your own bugaboos: the decade long feud with a sibling, the frenemy at work who stresses you out, your own neuroses about how you look, the subject doesn’t really matter just pay absolutely no attention to what he wants to discuss and bang on endlessly about your own grievances. Etc.

I am concerned for her, because this guy is escalating and her lack of awareness could get her into more danger, but it’s also fascinating that she’s unwittingly providing a masterclass in how not to play along with the AGP delusions.

In typical male form, he is using a lot of feigned incompetence to get close to someone he perceives as a challenge, but she is not having it and it's just eating up his precious little ego.

Obsessively turn any meet-ups into self-serving things for you: invite him for a drink at your place only to join you in de-grouting tile. Suggest browsing a garden center so you can ask him to move 50 lb bags of mulch.

Pathetic men will play along with this sort of thing though and then blame the women who "used" them. So, TIM or not, I don't recommend this.

[–] pentaghast 2 points Edited

Sadly (or...maybe happily, I don't even know) I can't take credit for the apple pie analogy, because it's what the creep in the comments actually said.

"I’ll keep this as simple as possible: people are often interested in the things they can’t have.

For example, if your mom bakes an apple pie and says “this delicious pie is off-limits”, there’s a sense the pie is now more appealing. And you get hungrier looking at it."

I do love the idea of out-crazying the TIMs, but alas, you are right, they're too volatile and it could end badly. I think the best thing for the poor OP would be to document, report, and otherwise keep doing what she's doing until she can get someone to keep him away from her.

Degenerate male thinks everyone around them is a validation dispenser

Quelle surprise

poor girl. situations like this are impossible these days, i've had one online and no matter how much evidence you provide of the other person being a dick, you are painted as transphobic and a bigot.

i wonder if he targeted her because she didn't pander to him like the other classmates.

Literally typical male predatory incel behaviour. And yet in the comments they are saying this 'Kay' basically just has a harmless crush

Minutes ago, a commenter wrote:

"The trans aspect seems shoehorned into this post in order to fit an agenda, it truly adds nothing to the post."

OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

That commenter did not read the post. It is clearly important since the TIM keeps demanding validation.

How much danger the OP is in would not at all come through if she hadn't mentioned that "Kay" is actually a man.

[–] mathlover 22 points Edited

She needs to go to the police and:

  1. Give them a copy of a written log of every single encounter with "Kay". If she hasn't been keeping one she needs to start compiling that now, while it is all fresh in her memory, and add to it with each encounter. Just a straightforward log with what "Kay" says and does and the circumstances and any reliable witnesses.

  2. Let the police know "Kay" continues to seek her out despite being asked not to and she wants to get Kay's behavior on record on case something happens to her (the woman being stalked).

  3. Ask very dispassionately what the criteria are for requesting an Order of Protection or Restraining Order if that should become necessary.

All of that puts "Kay" on the police radar and forces the police to consider it an official complaint. And if multiple women do this it becones clear that this is not just one woman "blowing things out of proportion". After a few more women go to the police with the same complaints then "Kay" becomes a person of interest as a likely sex offender (which all "trans" males are anyway) when a woman is sexually violated.

Ugh creepy incel. She needs to report him, although I doubt it will do much good considering his priest class status. At least if he does something to her there would be a paper trial of her complaint :/

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