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20 comments

[–] LenaScrpn1111 20 points (+20|-0) Edited

We are one of the most hated and imitated groups and for me I’m exhausted.

I was a walking billboard for black women growing up in the 90s and 2000s. I wore the bamboo earrings, nameplate necklace, ring with my name in them. Long nails and braids or afro buns and baby hair with lollipops in them lol. I wore the over sized pants with crop tops and timberland boots. I thought I was singer Aaliyah.

Hated for our attitude and speech and dance. Yes I talked just like the drags queens and trans and young girls on tik tok do now.

Called Keisha(common black girls name), Shanaenae, black girl stereotype.

Now almost 20 years later, I see the kids of the same people who judged me. Dressing, behaving, and speaking the same way I once did.

I got so tired of gay men and trans acting like I’m some long lost relative when they see me in a group at a club.

And now black TIMs out here acting like they the victims and poor me shit. Like black women owe them? Owe you what?

Edit: I have such a unique name that there is only 30 of us in the United States.

When I would apply for jobs I had to use Lena, which is a alternative to my given name. I wasn’t getting called because I had a black name.

[–] PotatoParameter 9 points (+9|-0)

I am a black woman as well.

My parents specifically named me a sexually and racially ambiguous name such that I wouldn't be discriminated against potential employers and opportunities when they take a look at my resume. When j was little I hated my name as I could be mistaken for a boy by teachers and my peers called me a boy because of my name and my blackness. I thought I could never be loved because of my black body.

Comparing a black woman's struggles and insecurities to the ones of a man who happens to think he's a woman is so racist and underhanded it fills me with rage. Black women's qualities are only desired when they are on someone else and they know this. We are constantly asked to step aside, make room, and lift up other people instead of ourselves. And the moment a black woman decides to commit to herself and herself only, she's called all sorts of names and one of them will for sure compare her to a man. So to be asked to make room for delusional men who want to dress feminine? You got me fuuuuucked up.

I refuse to be a good little black broodmare that lifts men up while they simultaneously wear me down and become a caricature of my womanhood.

[–] LenaScrpn1111 7 points (+7|-0)

Bingo! The minute we show our confidence and power we are called every name in the damn book. Trying to break us.

Michelle Obama and Serena Williams, over the last 10 years have been clowned for the way they look.

Sis you ain’t the only one, they got us all fucked up.

[–] Veesdottir [OP] 4 points (+4|-0) Edited

Comparing a black woman's struggles and insecurities to the ones of a man who happens to think he's a woman is so racist and underhanded it fills me with rage.

I thought this piece was really insightful. I loved the discussion about how Sojourner Truth's words were manipulated to serve someone else's agenda.. seems to be a thing with that speech, no? "Ain't I a Woman" indeed. But it was the screen shots of women defending TRA bullshit that I found unbelievable. My community values women with certain complexions and hair textures. It's wrong, pathetic and you'd think that those attitudes would be yesterday's news... but no, to see really young WOC, because it's not only young African American women feeling this, internalize that ignorance and hatred to the point where they actually believe that their skin color puts them in the same category as males who claim to be female is insanity. The writer was spot on with:

I’ve read claims that femininity and womanhood are “white supremacist” constructs imposed on Black women, as though White people introduced the world to sex-based gender norms that have appeared in societies across the globe for centuries. This line of reasoning is a dog whistle meant to illicit a Pavlovian response from sensitive, socially progressive Black women. It is meant to silence progressive Black women who are gender critical. It is also meant to “neg” woke Black women who probably know better than to seek validation from “cis” men, but struggle to recognize and repel the “kiss the ring” tone some transwomen carry towards Black women.

[–] littleowl12 6 points (+6|-0)

The appropriation is never complimentary. There's nothing wrong with being a white, gay male Aaliyah super fan or black feminine gay men wearing their femininity in a black style. OF COURSE black gay men would wear feminine fashions from their own community. And gay white men adoring a female pop star- well that's a stereotype of theirs!

But that's not what's happening when it comes to appropriation. Appreciation doesn't come saturated with envy and sourness. They really do think that black women are "hogging the spotlight." Spotlight for what? Who the hell knows. But for trans activists, black women are annoyingly visible.

It is also meant to “neg” woke Black women who probably know better than to seek validation from “cis” men, but struggle to recognize and repel the “kiss the ring” tone some transwomen carry towards Black women.

That's a perfect way of describing it. "Kiss the ring."

Our exclusion from those rules does not mean we owe ally-ship to anyone fighting for a seat at the very table we’ve been happy to walk away from when the working day is done. Let all who please kneel and pray at the altar of idealized White femininity. Do not allow anyone to assume that Black women are collectively kneeling besides them.

Three cheers for "TD." What a great writer. I learned a semester's worth in 16 minutes.

[–] DontDoxxMe 7 points (+7|-0)

Thank you for posting this. I’ve noticed how quickly white trans glommed onto language designed to explain a minority existence and it’s insidious AF. The amount of white men who blithely claim -well black women are women- shows exactly how racist they are.

[–] HellaDea 5 points (+5|-0)

It's what males have done for centuries. I hate to being it up but when slavery was in America white male slave owners used to say black women were the same as males. They had to come up with some "reasoning" to have women working in the fields. Idk about y'all but these FERTS remind me 100% of those racists. But let us all remember we all came from a black woman. And she is the closest thing to a real god. Black women are the basic woman and should be the most lived and respected for the life they have given us.

[–] Bubbletea 2 points (+2|-0) Edited

white male slave owners used to say black women were the same as males. They had to come up with some "reasoning" to have women working in the fields. 

Do you have any sources for this? I have read (I'll try to find these again) that some white men considered black men and other moc infantile or feminine because they have less body and facial hair than white men and this is why they "needed to be led", but never what you said. But I know with these sorts of things the belief (x is subhuman) comes first and then the reasoning just comes later to explain it away. Though I am wondering at the idea that women couldn't work in fields, there definitely were and still are female farmers and/or women who had to work in fields because of poverty, and I don't think I've ever seen pearl clutching over that. Also, enslaved women didn't only work in fields, many worked in houses too (which has led to some men claiming that enslaved men had it worse, which not only is laughably false but also ignores the fact that not all of them worked in fields either). But I'm going to take a guess that it was overall more likely for a woman to work in a house than a man, and for a man to work in a field than a woman.

My understanding is that the job that really expanded slavery in the states was picking cotton. It took a lot of hands, because it was hard to mechanize and needed to be done within a pretty short window.

That job was brutally hard, but it took endurance, dexterity, and pain tolerance more than raw strength, so female field hands were actually about as productive as male ones.

Source: I kinda remember reading this somewhere once. So take it with a healthy dose of salt.

Also their sacks were weighed at the end of the day, and each person had her or his own quota to meet. So they'd hide rocks in the middle of the bags, which would just completely destroy the expensive cotton-processing machinery when they were dumped in.

That's not related to anything you said, I just think it's awesome.

[–] Veesdottir [OP] 3 points (+3|-0) Edited
[–] Bubbletea 0 points (+0|-0)

Oh I know the concept I was just wanting to see the origins of the field thing. Thanks for the reads. I didn't know that enslaved women (at least in Jamaica and the Carolinas?) were most likely to work in the fields.It's also strange that people captured went from 40% women to 15% women.

[–] HellaDea 0 points (+0|-0)

I don't have it quoted but I read it in the book "the chains that bind us" it's an nonfiction about the slaves of prominent people such as presidents.

[–] HessaHein 3 points (+3|-0) Edited

I do wish this author wrote more often, but I'm glad this essay exists.