90

Youtube mods deleted my comment on @VanessaQSC most recent video response to Sammyboy Lux, where I explained what medical infertility actually is and what real infertile women go through... So I'm making it a post. Waves at all the castrated male lurkers who whinge about being "infertile women" without having a clue what that really entails. You can't shut me up here 😋

It is so obvious that Sam has no clue what actual infertile women go through. Doesn't even know what infertility is, thinks its the same as being sterilized...

LOOK DUDE, I get that all your real woman friends, you know, the female ones, don't actually talk about this kind of stuff with your VERY male self, they just coo and fluff your ego (of couse your a reeeeeal woman Sam, Just like US, give us male validation and head pats) which is why you don't know, don't even have a fucking CLUE! But actual infertility in women is a medical diagnosis for when a woman fails to carry a pregnancy after 6 months to a year of TRYING.

It is a grueling heartbreaking journey that involves obsessively tracking ovulation cycles, months of timed sex, crying over periods and failed pregnancy tests, or even more guttingly, getting preggo and then suffering multiple miscarriages... and it is often tied to brutally painful diseases like endometriosis.

It is not the same as a dude choosing to cut off his balls because they make him sad... FUCK it is so insulting to real infertile women.

As an actual official member if the Barren Woman's Club my message to Sam is: "Fuck off you LARPER! You can't sit with us!"

Thankyou Vannessa for not backing down to faker males who vampirically try to manipulate using a pain they will NEVER know, the pain of infertile women, as some kind of cover, but just end up proving that they are just another bro who knows nothing about what it actually means to be an actual woman with a broken reproductive system.

Youtube mods deleted my comment on @VanessaQSC most recent [video response](https://youtu.be/FyH915ZatZI) to Sammyboy Lux, where I explained what medical infertility *actually* is and what **real infertile women** go through... So I'm making it a post. **Waves** at all the castrated male lurkers who whinge about being "infertile women" without having a clue what that really entails. You can't shut me up here 😋 >It is so obvious that Sam has no clue what actual infertile women go through. Doesn't even know what infertility is, thinks its the same as being sterilized... >LOOK DUDE, I get that all your real woman friends, you know, the female ones, don't actually talk about this kind of stuff with your VERY male self, they just coo and fluff your ego (of couse your a reeeeeal woman Sam, Just like US, give us male validation and head pats) which is why you don't know, don't even have a fucking CLUE! But actual infertility in women is a medical diagnosis for when a woman fails to carry a pregnancy after 6 months to a year of *TRYING*. >It is a grueling heartbreaking journey that involves obsessively tracking ovulation cycles, months of timed sex, crying over periods and failed pregnancy tests, or even more guttingly, getting preggo and then suffering multiple miscarriages... and it is often tied to brutally painful diseases like endometriosis. >It is not the same as a dude choosing to cut off his balls because they make him sad... FUCK it is so insulting to real infertile women. >As an actual official member if the Barren Woman's Club my message to Sam is: "Fuck off you LARPER! You can't sit with us!" >Thankyou Vannessa for not backing down to faker males who vampirically try to manipulate using a pain they will *NEVER* know, the pain of infertile women, as some kind of cover, but just end up proving that they are just another bro who knows nothing about what it actually means to be an actual woman with a broken reproductive system.

35 comments

[–] Verdandi 48 points (+48|-0)

I'm sorry you had to write that in the first place. It's utterly infuriating and insulting that your actual involuntary medical struggles are being compared to a man voluntarily choosing to castrate himself. This is so gobsmackingly offensive I'm actually having trouble collecting my thoughts on it— you covered much of what I had to say.

Another super annoying thing they do is maintain this bizarre propaganda that women who experience infertility can't or don't menstruate, which they do— frequently and even heavily sometimes. Fertility and menstruation aren't actually as well connected as these delusional people think. A woman experiencing infertility could be having extremely heavy periods, whereas a woman who is fertile could skip her period 4+ months and still get pregnant. We aren't cookie cutter stereotypical copies of each other, we're actual individuals who experience a variety of symptoms and issues. But they don't understand that because they literally view all women as 2D cartoon characters.

(I honestly can't stand saying "infertile woman" because it's being used by TRAs as another "modifier" to woman, like "black" "lesbian" or "trans" as a means to divide women and pit us against each other, coercing and manipulating us into believing that an "infertile woman" is actually a non-woman who has nothing in common with "cis women", no lie I've seen infertile being categorized as trans)

[–] pixiebiz [OP] 29 points (+29|-0) Edited

The thing is, I never went through it because I never tried to conceive, but my endo riddled ass bleeds like the elevator in "the Shining" and my womb is barren as fuck... but I have the fucking grace to recognize that women who have had trouble conceiving and been designated infertile are walking a very VERY painful path that is VERY DIFFERENT than getting voluntarily sterilized... and if Sammyboy was an actual women with a reproductive disorder he would know that... he would have seen fellow sisters struggle with all the medical issues and pain of infertility... but he's not he's just a LARPer who thinks that being a eunich makes it ok for him to steal women's pain and wear it like a skin suit.

[–] sylviasmushrooms 25 points (+25|-0)

I knew it would piss me off, but I watched Samantha's video today so I could throw my support behind Vanessa with even greater conviction, and of EVERYTHING they tittered and trilled about while mocking her, this is what jumped out the MOST to me.

Choosing sterility is abso-fucking-lutely not the same as having it forced on you, any more than choosing to present as a woman is abso-fucking-lutely not the same as being born and socialized and treated as a female for a lifetime. This ended happily for me (with healthy pregnancies and babies) but I've been through the infertility struggle, trying for months and losing multiple pregnancies. Someone claiming infertility after voluntarily ridding themselves of the parts that would allow them to reproduce is absolutely as bizarre and upsetting to me as someone claiming handicapped status after deliberately amputating their legs.

The trump card TRAs always throw out there is "how would you feel if you were a MALE but you felt the same as you do now??" Like, they do it in some attempt to prove the notion of an innate gender or something. Is it weird that if I wanted children, but I was in a man's body, I would just father some children? I'd much rather live as an intact male than modern medicine's best mock-up of a bimbo barbie. I feel like neither gender, but I just am a woman, with female parts that function, and all the good and bad that comes with them.

[–] bornwithovaries 12 points (+12|-0)

Yep.

Although woman isn't a gender. It's a gendered species name (the word, not the person it's describing) for human being. Like "hen" for chicken or "mare" for horse.

We need to tighten up the language use around this a lot because TRAs use sloppy language to confuse people.

[–] wildpansy 11 points (+11|-0)

"how would you feel if you were a MALE but you felt the same as you do now??

How would you feel if you were someone else but felt the same? How do you answer that question, how do you know it's possible to switch bodies magically and feel "the same", whatever that means? They always use that and also misgendering, calling women they know to be women "sir" or "bro" as though it was the ultimate insult. Yeah, whatever, who cares if you think someone has a dick but they don't? How about, you have no idea what's going on in someone else's head but your sexist ideology forces you into thinking certain personality traits can only go together with having breasts and a uterus for whatever reason. But they don't, that's why those dumbass gotcha questions fail. There's no way to "feel female" and if you assume there is, you're sexist.

[–] LilithsKiwi 17 points (+17|-0)

I'm fearing a future where addressing biological differences and the unique struggles and suffering of women are silenced without hesitancy, equated to hate speech, thrown in a trash pile alongside the white supremascists and nazis and violent homophobics. But who am I kidding? That's not the future. We're already there. I'm sorry that you were silenced for pointing out a humiliating comparison.

[–] KissMyOvaries 10 points (+10|-0)

Sam is pretty deranged (I mean hey, when he gets angry, it’s obvious he’s a male).....so I wouldn’t put it past him to have tried to get pregnant for a year with no luck.

[–] Srfthrowaway 9 points (+9|-0)

I'm sorry you have been through that. 💜 Thank you for this powerful post. You're right that they are vampires.

[–] pixiebiz [OP] 9 points (+9|-0) Edited

actually, my endo riddled self didn't go through all that... in that because I didn't want kids I never have been medically designated infertile, even though my crappy uterus is a barren field where no fruit would ever grow and causes me all kinds of misery...

I was sterilized a few years ago when I had excision surgery though, and I am VERY aware that my journey of being sterilized is a completely different experience than my EndoSisters who have gone through the pain of trying to conceive for months or years before being designated as infertile... which also btw still doesn't mean that they can't conceive otherwise we wouldn't have infertility treatments would we... but TIM fuckers like Sammyboy who have no clue about what these reproductive problems actually mean loooooove making themselves look like idiots by trying to get pity points for being "an infertile women" when they don't even know what infertility actually means. Its pathetic.

[–] Srfthrowaway 13 points (+13|-0)

Ugh endometriosis is a living nightmare for so many women, whether or not fertility is a concern. And you're absolutely right, these men have not the first clue about what women go through when they want to conceive and just can't. My profession are assholes to women in those situations as well.

[–] pixiebiz [OP] 8 points (+8|-0)

I know sometimes I get ranty on here about doctors (deservedly so lol) but I also want to let you know that I soooo appreciate you and other women and men like you who use your MD training and knowledge to actually care for and help sick women. I upvote your posts quite often and am really grateful for you, both here in Ovarit but also knowing that there are doctors like you out there really means so much to me and women like me. Thankyou for your love and service to women.

[–] bornwithovaries 4 points (+4|-0)

Yeah, I kind of look stinkeye at the fact that I had my two kids almost nine years apart when I definitely had long periods of time where I was sexually active and not careful -- I'm glad in retrospect that I didn't have a kid a year, but I figure something was going on and the only reason I didn't zero in on it was because it wasn't a good time to be having kids in between the two I did.

Two friends of mine had a lot of known trouble though. One has endo and I'm not sure what was up with the other one but they both had lots of miscarriages. Each of them had their first baby at age forty or later. One of them had a second a few years after the first and then had early menopause, and I'm sure she's relieved -- she's the one who had the bad endo.

[–] pixiebiz [OP] 3 points (+3|-0) Edited

I have so many women in my life who have struggled to conceive, we barren uterus wims tend to stick together, seeing as how we have actual medical commonalities and shit and information we need to share with each other when our very broken uteruses start throwing tantrums and we are being ignored by the fucking medical system 🤬.... sorry distracted rant... anyhow.... some of my sisters with infertility have gotten their miracle babies 🎉... and there are some who haven't 😥

And even when there is a baby at the end of a woman's infertility journey, it is a very hard, intimately female road. TIMs can talk themselves blue in the face but they will always be driving down completely different roads no matter how hard the try to pretend they go through our struggles. Its not even simply "Dude get back in your lane" its more like "Dude what are you even talking about? We're on the 101 in Cali and you are on the Jersey Turnpike with no toll acting like that is why your not gonna make it out to Pasadena tonight" ... fucking muppets.

Well whatever, the more fucking LARPers talk the more they make clear they don't have a clue what real women actually go through and the more women peak and see that this is just more same old same old; Male sads being coddled and converted into $$$ over women's material medical realities, just more bog standard misogyny... but with drag makeup and extensions and video filters and superficial cosmetic biohacking... wow this epoch of misogynistic dystopia is such fun, as fun as being in a Black Mirror episode or maybe an Octavia Butler novel.... /s

Oh. Um, guess I'm also part of the Barren Women Club. Oh.

[–] pixiebiz [OP] 3 points (+3|-0) Edited

oh sis... sending big hugs... come hangout at /o/WomensHealthLounge and get some support from your sisters when you are feeling down. This shit is hard but at least we have each other ♥

Thanks! But I'm actually okay. That is the thing most of my friends don't understand: hubby and I tried for 2 and 1/2 years, nothing. Turns out we're both only slightly fertile. And then slwe cried, and we talked, and adopted another cat, and now we're happy. I'm just shocked today that by OP's definition, I'm barren! Like, I thought I was just not-fertile. Gosh!

But I'll check out the circle: even if I'm okay now, the years of trying was hell. Thanks!

[–] pixiebiz [OP] 2 points (+2|-0)

Your welcome! Come by any time! FYI for clarities sake the definition of failing to conceive in 6 to 12 months of trying is the medical criterion for "Infertility", whereas "Barren" is a non medical term that covers more of a broader category of "my uterus is garbage and is a field where no seed will grow". Like I never have gone through an infertility journey because I didn't ever wanted kids... but my uterus ain't playing even if I wanted to, and it lets me know on a monthly basis when my demon baby endo belly and satan's labor cramps come a calling... So I'm barren, but not medically designated infertile, if that makes sense. Sam is neither btw, he's just a castrated nob that got his bits and bobs rearranged and thinks its the same thing.

[–] fireworks 6 points (+6|-0)

Thanks for posting your comment here. My lengthy reply to a dude that told me "Sam goes through the same oppression as women now" also got deleted. They can't stand logic.

[–] pixiebiz [OP] 4 points (+4|-0) Edited

hundreds of comments calling Vanessa a man stay up, 'cause those hypocrites don't actually believe what they say, for them misgendering isn't a verboten horror, its clearly perfectly fine with them when its against an "enemy", like when it's gendertrolls doing it to an actual woman. While women clapping back and pointing out that Sam doesn't know jack nor shit about actual women's struggles are what actually get deleted... I always try to save my comments before I hit send, but a few got yeeted away this afternoon.... Ahhh well, c'est la vie. Since "silencing" women just makes us whisper more in the backround where dudes can't keep us under their thumbs... and in the backround we continue spin spin spin our webs... I'm not too cut up about it 🕸🕸🕸

[–] fireworks 4 points (+4|-0)

Funny how they condemn newspapers when an actual rapist is misgendered, but they are using misgendering to attack Vanessa.

[–] yesisaiditxx 4 points (+4|-0)

I’m sorry :(

This issue is one of the ones that made me more vocal and unapologetic about my views on transness.

The rhetoric of “well infertile women don’t ____ so are you saying they aren’t women!” is so disgusting. Why use such a sensitive thing as debate bait unless you...oh wait...don’t actually care about infertile women enough to even second think that that might be devastating for them to be subjected to to justify your ‘womanhood’.

[–] VanessaQSC 0 points (+0|-0)

Wait t you see the video of Mama Doctor Jones sexist tweets about infertile women no longer being female.

[–] Xact 1 points (+1|-0)

Just an FYI, youtube's algorithm does a couple of things:

  1. The comments section on feminist videos or controversial videos (probably based on the more people report you) are targeted with automatic comment deletion when it comes to certain phrases or keywords.

  2. Feminist users (probably again, based on the more people report you) that comment a lot get targeted with automatic comment deletion.

  3. Certain common keywords and phrases are able to be detected by Youtube as being aligned with feminist thought, such as this sentence: "I get that all your real woman friends, you know, the female ones, don't actually talk about this kind of stuff with your VERY male self".....and the longer your comment is, the more likely you're going to run into the algorithm targeting feminist speech. Keywords like "rape" and "pedophile" and "transgender" are infamously self censored in the comments section of feminist videos on youtube because they automatically will delete comments talking about it. I recently had a comment mentioning rape on a 100% non-feminist related innocuous video automatically deleted, which didn't use to happen on non-feminist videos, so you see they've already targeted my account. My way around this is a couple of things:

    *Copy all your feminist comments (or even slightly feminist adjacent ones) before posting them, and refresh the page 3 times to make sure your comment posted. If it didn't, get ready to paste and edit and repost.

    *If your comment was long, try to post it in multiple parts.

    *Try to deduct your words as much as possible...for example, instead of rape, I might say "unwilling intercourse" "unwilling sexual encounters"....I also try to not line up a bunch of possibly feminist keywords like woman/female/man/male together. Instead of saying "men rape women", try to separate the words, like this: "there's a pattern of male power/behavior that is enacted by sexually violating women". The more you comment in a sort of detached, narration kind of way, the better.

    You can try self-censoring by typing like this: "rpe", "ra pe", "raype", "raep"

The misogyny of Youtube's policies are very clear. We as feminists can't talk about male violence against women, we don't have the right to set the terms of our own identity or merely make a distinction between what does and doesn't constitute our lived reality and experiences of womanhood (but male born people can make sweeping judgments about our identity, like the idea that we're "cis", we can't even question the ideology behind gender and queer theory - which counters many decades of class analysis and a variety of social justice related theories, as well as feminism, and conflicts with many aspects of the gay liberation movement - even though feminists don't have a gender identity), but men all over the platform can critique, resist and completely demonize feminism, women's liberation and women as a whole, and not be aligned with hate speech.

If they did that, they would have to remove mass, overwhelming segments of their site, similar to Pornhub's purge.

It's completely fucked up on multiple levels that feminists of all people are being targeted like this by Youtube, but we have to continue pushing forward and being a voice on these platforms. We have to continue speaking out against the injustices women face and stay creative while doing it.

[–] OatsNeckties 1 points (+2|-1)

Harsh but fair. YouTube have got serious about comment moderation, it seems. You remember when you wouldn't even scroll a little bit down in case you saw the horror that went on under every video? Might be an overshoot though, as you haven't actually said anything wrong.

[–] Verdandi 1 points (+1|-0)

None of this is fair, what are you on about? They let comments calling Vanessa a bitch, whore, or a man stay up. How is that fair?