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Every time she comes down the stairs ready for school, I have to remind myself that she is actually dressed appropriately for an 8 year old. But there she is - a tiny TIM complete with cat ears, skirts, knee socks, and sometimes even a choker. When she gets excited sometimes she squeals and jumps up and down and flaps her hands. She's blissfully unaware, of course, that disgusting men are out there trying to look and act just like her.

Notably, my older daughter is nothing like a TIM. She was completely over that stage by 9 or 10 and just rolls her eyes at her little alien sister from her bubble of aloof coolness.

Just your daily reminder (as if you needed one) that they don't just want to be women. They want to be little girls.

Every time she comes down the stairs ready for school, I have to remind myself that she is actually dressed appropriately for an 8 year old. But there she is - a tiny TIM complete with cat ears, skirts, knee socks, and sometimes even a choker. When she gets excited sometimes she squeals and jumps up and down and flaps her hands. She's blissfully unaware, of course, that disgusting men are out there trying to look and act just like her. Notably, my older daughter is *nothing* like a TIM. She was completely over that stage by 9 or 10 and just rolls her eyes at her little alien sister from her bubble of aloof coolness. Just your daily reminder (as if you needed one) that they don't just want to be women. They want to be little girls.

66 comments

My daughter is a toddler. She likes big poofy skirts and she likes spinning in them. It's part of why seeing the TIMs dress and act the same makes my stomach turn. I've never seen an adult woman spin in a skirt. It's 100% a child thing and it's such a pedophilic action when the TIMs do it. Absolutely nauseating.

I used to spin skirts (just for fun at home) when I had a lot of full/circle skirts, but that was a long time ago and I definitely wouldn't be doing it in public or talking about doing it.

[–] Lipsy i/just/can't 2 points

Dance performers have plenty of counterexamples among them, but, I take your point.

[–] Avery806 13 points Edited

8 years old girls do it because they like it. Girls in their teens and 20s do it because men like it. Men do it because they like 8 year old girls.

the strange part is that as a non-parent, I was unaware of things like cat's ears and chokers as a little girl phase. TIMs must be watching playgrounds, observing girls on the street, stalking schoolyards and online forums? to pick out these trends to emulate?

I think it may be coming mostly from anime, in both cases. Young Western girls are increasingly watching it, but a lot of TIMs have been marinating in for decades.

[–] Sadeyedlady 22 points Edited

I always thought TIMs wore chokers to hide their Adam’s apples 🤷🏻‍♀️ I also don’t have any kids

They definitely do (ineffectually), but with cat ears it's also pretty specific anime-influenced look.

That makes sense too. Not something I have ever watched.

Me either, I just remember weeaboos dressing like this in college...and then our Japanese students asking what was wrong with them and why they were that obsessed with cartoons.

Cat ears and chokers seemed like more of a middle school/high school thing to me, but kids in general seem to be aged up a lot these days. I was still playing with toys sometimes at 12 and 13 and my nieces are younger than that and haven't played with anything but a tablet in years.

In my experience, when younger girls (or boys, theoretically) wear the ears, it's because they're kids - the ears are fun, and they're like costumes, which lots of kids like. This particular kid has been wearing ears since she was about 2, along with a tutu and a cape or whatever. When teenagers wear them, it's connected to a certain style/persona they're going for.

[–] eire 16 points

There's also a subculture or was of young women wearing the same sort of gear. Usually late teens to early 20s. Sort of a pastel, kawaii goth look. It isn't as popular now but you will still see it on certain corners of the Internet.

Oh man, I did a bunch of fashion subcultures as a teen: goth, emo, harajuku, steampunk, and cybergoth. I cringe to think I thought clothing was an “identity.” I grew out of it by my early 20’s, just like going to dirty clubs and dancing to ear-breaking music until 2am…

Hey, I wish teenagers would do that again. It is not like one can grow out of a mastectomy.

Ah. Thanks. I guessed internet but am at a loss for where to start looking for "how young girls dress". I need to brush up on my online stalking skills...!

It is still gross. They are cute, young women dressing for fun and enjoying experimenting but TIMs think it is a genuine adult woman's style of dressing and mimic it.

I like to don it sometimes. It’s really fun.

Actually I was experimenting with a new look and looking for like a gothic but white shoe and ended up typing “lolita” 🤢 into the search bar because I had a feeling it would come up, unfortunately. (I wore the shoes to my wedding and they were beloved by many traditional normal people; idk why they’re “Lolita” shoes).

ANYWAY the point of the story is the default size the shoe was set to was size 11. Or maybe it was even like 13. It was a fucking enormous default size, not normal at all for shoe shopping online, and I knew exactly why. 🤮

The name is probably because of the Japanese lolita fashion subculture, which is heavily inspired by Victorian and rococo fashion. It is and isn't related to the novel Lolita, I suppose - the name comes from the novel, but the cultural perception around the concept is more about cuteness and idealism, and women who dress lolita often see it as an act of rebellion against traditions and beauty standards. This article on the subject might be a good read.

Oh, you can also check out Asian sellers of this style: try gothic lolita. The shoes will be small. There are shops in Japan that post internationally and stores in the US that sell this style. Etsy sometimes has this, too.

Metallic fake tattoo chokers from 2001 checking in, they replaced the plastic black stretchy choker of ~1995 which came back with cooler designs but I'm too old and uncomfortable for them now lmao. I was a cat for Halloween every year 5-9. Clearly a TIM.

I think it just has a lot to do with what the stores sell/ fashion trends/ marketing. No one's making their own. They might be stalking the children's section of stores, easy to do online...

Also chokers are a lot more comfortable when they're adult sized and you're 8 than when you're adult sized and they strangle you I think

oh, I did not think of the stores, and marketing. Of course. Thanks.

Yes, I think of these things as more high school age. Maybe times are different now. Hell, I still love chokers and no pornsick men are going to ruin them for me.

I put on my wedding ring for the first time in a while (had a second baby). My toddler boy wanted to wear it. He must clearly actually be a girl, obviously 🙄

On the rare occasion that I wear makeup, it's like my five year old son has an alarm system for the drawer-- he makes a beeline for the bathroom and demands to have makeup too.

I oblige. What's good for the goose is good for the gander IMHO. But I guess they would say he is trans for that. As well as his love of rainbows and glitter.

Every time I gave myself a manicure my son had to have one too and he's obviously trans totally fine.

Lol my little boy loved painting his nails and using my makeup to draw complicated and elaborate facial hair on himself.

My dad was extremely concerned with this, but thankfully my kid got vaccinated against tHe gAy so he didn't catch it from the nail polish+ makeup. Phew!

You had your son vaccinated against tHe gAy? You know, some people say vaccinations cause autism ...

How do you vaccinate against the gay? Is it the kind of vaccination where you inject a tiny portion of living gay? Or the kind where you kill the gay first? Or is there one of those newfangled vaccinations that only causes the body to produce a tiny bit of surface proteins of gay, so the immune system learns to recognize it?

Rofl.

Ha! My dad was the worst about enforcing gender stereotypes with my son too. Fortunately my husband is a good sport about it.

My son has a mermaid doll and likes to paint his nails sometimes...he's also a laydee inside I guess. I swear to Goddess these people transing their kids are actually insane. I cannot cope with the idea that they are enforcing such bullshit sex stereotypes onto their children and punishing them (via brainwashing/medicalization) for acting outside of their boxes.

I was also a lot like your daughter as a kid. Loved playing dressup, wearing dresses (sometimes two at once because layers colors/patterns, duuuuh!). Then I also learned to sew, played with dolls, Legos, K'nex (that rollercoaster rocked), made creepy crawlers and metal jewelry, played sports, caught frogs, fish and snakes, ran around in the woods and got muddy. Which point was I doing "girl things" and at which point was I doing "Boy things"? It's almost like kids just want to do whatever interests them and there's nothing more meaningful to it than that.

And TRAs i'm sure would label your daughter as "Cis" but the second she does something not "gender conforming" they'll wonder if she's trans. I hate it here.

I just watched a heartbreaking news segment about an asshole couple who transed their kid at 4 fucking years old.

There's a very high chance she's just gender non conforming! They showed her getting a haircut and said that before, "haircuts were sooo stressful". Uh why? If you'd shelve those toxic homophobic beliefs and just let her cut her fucking hair short, there would've been zero stress. Y'all brought 100% of that stress upon yourselves.

They moved the kid to a new school so "everyone would know her only as a boy". That sounds healthy. You guys must be familiar with the countless early childhood experts who recommend putting huge, potentially humiliating secrets on kids. It's GREAT for their development and emotional stability, and keeping the secret really helps the child connect with their peers!

I hate those ppl,I hate the fuckwheat doctor who encouraged them, and I pity that child's future.

I saw that segment on Josh's stream, wasn't that even Fox News?

They moved the kid to a new school so "everyone would know her only as a boy". That sounds healthy. You guys must be familiar with the countless early childhood experts who recommend putting huge, potentially humiliating secrets on kids. It's GREAT for their development and emotional stability, and keeping the secret really helps the child connect with their peers!

Talking about it on national television is the first thing that comes to mind when trying to keep secrets.

One woman’s “Humor” tag is another woman’s “Horror” tag, I guess 😱😱😱

[–] Cogent 9 points Edited

Seriously, this is why I say the 8 year old developmental stage is where this fad is stuck at. It is also the target demographic of say, Disney, selling little girls the fantasy they can be a princess. The refrain every child knows:

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
~
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true

Probably just an old grouch but I blame a lot of this on Disney.

[–] eire 17 points

But does she go spinny in her skirt?

Oh, definitely.

[–] VestalVirgin 5 points Edited

I hope you support her AFAB transgirl identity. Afab transgirls are valid!

(Does she have the male pattern baldness, tho? Perhaps she needs her hair shaved to feel truly at peace in her afab transgirl identity ...)

Lol.

[–] Lipsy i/just/can't 2 points

The cat-ears-adorned tension headband is actually the signature accessory of what's called the "femboy" archetype.

Now that you say it, I don't actually know how far gone the femboys of 2022, collectively, are down either lane of the transing highway—i.e., identification or medicalization—but the couple of 'em I know are still pretty unabashed about being boys.

I know that words stopped meaning anything back in dinosaur epoch number minus twelve or thereabouts but, "femboy" does of course end with "-boy", which would be enough to send the itsmaaaAAaaAAAAAAMMM!!!! set into several more hours of paroxysms which does strengthen the case for the identity being kinda what it says it is.

My kids had these cute little flower headbands with sparkly rhinestone cat ears! They liked to meow and do tricks for Cheerios that we pretended were cat treats.

Did you know that throwing away pieces of trash off the floor and putting away toys is a trick? Mmhm.

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