99
[deleted]

85 comments

Underpinning a lot of this I think it's the explosion of online culture. Only through a combination of being mentally unwell and way to much time online would you get the idea that it's acceptable to dress in, whatever the hell that bloke is wearing.

We might be seeing a turn towards understanding the bizarre effects that the internet is having on real world behaviours. Maybe this is the start of new mental illness categories. We know how mental illness expressions are shaped by culture.

But yeah, it reveals the bonkers logic underpinning idpol. Anyone who has had the misfortune of reading some post modernism lit knows how a lot of the ideas come from exploring how madness is socially constructed and treated (Foucault, Deleuze and Guatarri). Not to chuck the baby out with the bathwater here, they have produced useful insights. It's also helpful to locate their work as part of the unfolding reactions to the sheer horror of rational processes as exemplified by the Nazi bureaucracy machine. Using their work as a basis for policy making misses entirely what they were critiquing (the destructiveness of rational bureaucracy). It's another form of madness. Naming it as such I think might be helpful.

[–] Tiramisuomi 22 points Edited

I definitely think that life on the internet is behind this, and this is only the tip of the iceberg. People live so much of their lives through a medium in which they can be whoever they want to be, whether by only selectively sharing positive traits of theirs at best (as we all do to some extent), and completely lying about who they are worst.

It feels like an injustice to go into the real world and have to suffer from not being seen as you want to be perceived. When I was online dating, I got told more than once that it was unfair to meet them and decide I didn't like them, because I "fell for" -- I did not, they were nice enough to meet and that's it -- their "real self" online.

That's quite a form of technologically mediated splitting I have to say!

I made a choice based on a really bizarre relationship that was mostly chat based to always anchor online interactions with real-life meetings. Applies to friendship and romantic relationships. It's so easy to project an imagined other, or imagined self through internet technology.

[–] Tiramisuomi 6 points Edited

Co-signed! Especially about the imagined self, because as I said, we're all tempted to do it, and it's mostly subconcious.

How silly I felt to convince myself I really liked a person only to discover within the first seconds of meeting that I couldn't stand the way they smelled. That put an end to that! I never again got past "they might be cool to meet" feelings-wise without meeting.

"You thought I was attractive when all you knew about me were things I wanted you to know, and when you could rely upon your own observations, you weren't attracted to me anymore. MEAN! UNFAIR!"

That's terrible. A woman, or any man, can say at any point in dating, "I no longer like you. This is over."