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Dear all, I'm afraid this will be long, but I need to get something off my chest.

When r/GenderCritical got banned, I was feeling rather hopeless. We had a community that was growing fast, peak transing more and more people, gaining media attention. We became too big and therefore a threat, so they had to get rid of us. Even though it was to be expected, I was devastated. I lost a community of people who shared the same concerns as me, most of whom started off as liberal "just be kind" feminists. Those women shared the same grief that I did when it became clear a lot of LGBT and the left weren't our friends. It was an island of sanity and a breath of fresh air.

I am the kind of person who prefers to read other women's thoughts over sharing my own. Never felt like I had anything original to say anyway. And my experience on GC was just that: consuming the content created by others, with zero input of my own. In all of three years I maybe left two or three comments... But reading GC was part of my daily routine, and I tried to read there as much as I could.

When Ovarit became active about a month after the ban, I immediately got an invite. But I knew our huge network was lost and was devastated to see five threads where there used to be fifty, two comments instead of two hundred. I couldn't bear to look at it, so I stopped visiting the site for almost half a year. After all, I was a 'lurker' and there was very little content for me to 'consume'.

But when I opened the site around December, I couldn't believe how much was done in such little time. It was just like r/GC, better even, since we didn't have to follow a billion of reddit 'rules' just to keep us afloat. Seeing Ovarit thrive was glorious, but at that moment I felt deep shame that I stood aside when my silly little comments were perhaps needed most. When others were building Ovarit from scratch, I was doing nothing to help restore our community. A simple 'like' could go a long way in encouraging people to post and comment more, especially if you are like me: constantly doubting yourself and considering deleting if no one reacted.

So, thank you, truly, to all those who posted, commented, liked and shared, in those first few months and now. Ovarit became what it is no thanks to me, but I will try to do better in the future. I will make it a point to 'like' more posts and comments. I will try to overcome my fear of engaging with others and write deep and thoughtful responses such as "great idea" and "haha". Sometimes, like now, I will even bring myself to post. And, instead of assuming I'm not smart or knowledgeable enough to speak, I will try anyway.

I feel so lucky and grateful that there are other women taking the same small steps as me.

Thank you. You are all really great.

Dear all, I'm afraid this will be long, but I need to get something off my chest. When r/GenderCritical got banned, I was feeling rather hopeless. We had a community that was growing fast, peak transing more and more people, gaining media attention. We became too big and therefore a threat, so they had to get rid of us. Even though it was to be expected, I was devastated. I lost a community of people who shared the same concerns as me, most of whom started off as liberal "just be kind" feminists. Those women shared the same grief that I did when it became clear a lot of LGBT and the left weren't our friends. It was an island of sanity and a breath of fresh air. I am the kind of person who prefers to read other women's thoughts over sharing my own. Never felt like I had anything original to say anyway. And my experience on GC was just that: consuming the content created by others, with zero input of my own. In all of three years I maybe left two or three comments... But reading GC was part of my daily routine, and I tried to read there as much as I could. When Ovarit became active about a month after the ban, I immediately got an invite. But I knew our huge network was lost and was devastated to see five threads where there used to be fifty, two comments instead of two hundred. I couldn't bear to look at it, so I stopped visiting the site for almost half a year. After all, I was a 'lurker' and there was very little content for me to 'consume'. But when I opened the site around December, I couldn't believe how much was done in such little time. It was just like r/GC, better even, since we didn't have to follow a billion of reddit 'rules' just to keep us afloat. Seeing Ovarit thrive was glorious, but at that moment I felt deep shame that I stood aside when my silly little comments were perhaps needed most. When others were building Ovarit from scratch, I was doing nothing to help restore our community. A simple 'like' could go a long way in encouraging people to post and comment more, especially if you are like me: constantly doubting yourself and considering deleting if no one reacted. So, thank you, truly, to all those who posted, commented, liked and shared, in those first few months and now. Ovarit became what it is no thanks to me, but I will try to do better in the future. I will make it a point to 'like' more posts and comments. I will try to overcome my fear of engaging with others and write deep and thoughtful responses such as "great idea" and "haha". Sometimes, like now, I will even bring myself to post. And, instead of assuming I'm not smart or knowledgeable enough to speak, I will try anyway. I feel so lucky and grateful that there are other women taking the same small steps as me. Thank you. You are all really great.

58 comments

[–] bellatrixbells BoobatrixRex 28 points

Don't worry about not having participated "enough" (by whose standards anyways ? I don't think anyone on here will be blaming you).

This is cheesy AF but in life there are different kinds of people. Some of them will lead, some of them like me will yap about all day long and throw coal into the locomotive. Others will only board the train. And that's okay. Not everyone can be an operator or a machinist. We need passengers, if nothing else to show others on the outside that the train is safe to board or that they will have fellow passengers if they choose to come along.

If you need the train to be up and running before you board it, fine. I'm fairly sure I'm not the only one who does this in good part to provide food for thought, a sense of belonging, and a community not only to people like ourselves who speak a lot, but for people like you who'd rather listen and chime in occasionally. But most of us probably do it because it comes naturally to us/we like it, not because we force ourselves in order to fill the locomotive.

Besides, if everyone spoke as much as people like me we would probably have a problem. Thanks for balancing it out, I feel less guilty. 😂😂😉

That's a really amazing analogy. Makes me feel so much better. I may not be a machinist, but if it wasn't for us passengers, the machinist wouldn't have a job 😅

[–] bellatrixbells BoobatrixRex 4 points

I must admit I'm a bit proud of it. 😂

Glad it made you feel better :)