I mentioned in my last post that my (now ex) boyfriend proclaimed himself to be a radfem. He has said this several times, but I never really pushed back. It didn’t seem like it was worth the fight at the time.
But yesterday I just couldn’t do it anymore. He just kept going on and on about how he’s so progressive and into radical feminism.
Finally, I (gently) told him that he may not know enough about radical feminism to say he’s a radfem. I told him that, personally, I wouldn’t even feel comfortable calling myself a radical feminist yet because there’s so much that I still have left to learn.
He asked for an example of what he doesn’t know, and I told him that transgender ideology is not compatible with radical feminism. He immediately pulled out his phone, pulled up Wikipedia, and proceeded to tell me I was wrong and that radical feminists welcome trans women into their spaces. He said radfems see no biological differences between men and women, so therefore they support transgenderism.
Cue internal combustion
I should’ve walked away right then, but my blood was absolutely boiling. This is a man who hasn’t read any literature pertaining to radical feminism, has never heard of Andrea Dworkin, and didn’t even know what radical feminism was until VERY recently. The only thing he’s done is read the Wiki page, and I doubt he even read that fully.
We started arguing about the transgender topic again, but it was pretty much the same thing as before.
HIM: I have trans friends and I believe they should be allowed to exist
ME: (While laughing) Please, show me who exactly is trying to make them not exist. I’m not sure who would even try to do that given that it’s a futile goal, but I can assure you that it’s not feminists.
HIM: As a man, I don’t belong in the conversation about allowing trans women into female only spaces. I don’t know why you expect me to have all the answers and know everything! There are way bigger issues facing women than trans people!
ME: That’s exactly the thing: I DON’T expect you to have the answers and I know for a fact that you don’t, anyways. What I do expect is for you to be able to recognize and admit when you don’t know something. That’s why I’m upset- you’re falsely taking on an identity and value system that you admittedly know little-to-nothing about.
That’s pretty much it. He shut down and I haven’t seen him since then. I am still heated over this conversation, though. The absolute audacity to mansplain radical feminism to me, and to explain it SO INCORRECTLY, is infuriating. I don’t plan on ever reaching out and I doubt he does, either. He has never been called out on his shit before and clearly has no idea how to handle it.
I wish I hadn’t even bothered having this conversation. I‘m done trying to explain to men why they should give a shit about women. It’s not my fucking job and it just drains me of my energy.
Needless to say, WGTOW is looking better and better each day.