Discussion Was anyone else out there a gender non-conforming child?

I didn't look GNC but I loved "boy" things and hated "girl" things, loved playing with boys (not that I never played with other girls or didn't have female friends, but I recall one year they had an all-girl birthday party for me (against my wishes too) and I did not give a f*** about the clothes or jewelry I was gifted and felt very alien listening to the way the other girls talked and acted). I would wish to be a boy and go to bed wishing I would wake up as one... I also disliked my breasts when I grew them and absolutely hated the way I looked. My family was always okay with what I liked, never shamed me or forced me to have more "feminine" interests - so I think if little me existed during those times, they wouldn't have tried to trans me.

My mom was a feminist and raised me what I would consider "genderless" -- no, not hiding my sex from people, lol. But she didn't buy me any overly feminine clothes. I was only allowed to wear clothes/shoes that "I could climb a tree in". She kept my hair short just because it was easier to take care of a kid with short hair, less likely to get gum stuck in it, or whatever. I played with my brother's hand me down toys. But I also played with plenty of "girl's toys", too. And I think our extended family was worried about me being too masculine. one year, for christmas, literally every single thing -- literally EVERY SINGLE TOY I receieved at age 9 -- was Barbie themed. I got three of the same doll, a Barbie wall clock, hand made barbie clothes from my grandma, a barbie RV, etc etc etc. They could not imagine buying me anything else. It still makes me laugh thinking how I got three of the same doll -- and it wasn't even a barbie, it was THREE BABY KELLYS, including one black Kelly. (Mom got me that one, since my Ken doll was "Steve", the black Ken. thanks mom. XD)

Either way I was totally gender nonconforming until I hit puberty. Then my boobs kinda made it impossible for me to not be seen as female. And I wanted long hair simply to rebel against my mom having me have short hair. As soon as I became a senior in high school I cut my hair short again.

I always wonder how many TIPs grew up in strictly religious/traditional gender-role households? I wager probably something like 95%. My mother was ahead of the curve by raising her children in the late 70s/early 80s as "non-binary" children. We were obviously called our correct pronouns (my mother wasn't that crazy), but she always told us that we could play with any gendered toy, wear pants or dresses, etc. Hell, I remember that I told her once that I didn't want to play softball, and that I wanted to play the "real thing" (baseball). The little league team in our town was 100% male, but she was friends with the coach and got him to put me on the team (of course, he put me in far left field because I was a girl eye roll, but still...breaking barriers for the time). My little sister was a Ninja Turtle for Halloween, and we played with GI Joe toys/Lego all of the time. Because my mother was so chill and relaxed about "gender roles", I never felt like if I wanted to do those things I was a "boy"-I was just "me".

Are you kidding?

I still remember the day I was no longer allowed to run around shirtless.

Would not touch barbies, threw away any dolls that were given to me. Played with animal figures, legos, knex, and started programming at a young age after being introduced to web design on neopets. I have worn a dress one time in my life (after being a baby when my mom put me in as many dresses as she wanted) and my mom had to hand-make it in TIGER PRINT for a wedding. Not even mad really, I was an extremely stubborn child. I would also always ask for the "boy" toy from fast food because they were the actual good toys. And I was a pokemon fan since I was 6 - apparently that's for boys. Makes no sense.

I am still GNC to this day in that I don't wear makeup ever and don't give any shits about men's attention. I wear the same 6 t-shirts and jeans each week with a hoodie. The only GC thing about me would be that my hair is long because it's not too much trouble and I think short hair would look bad on my face shape.

I wanted to be Megaman because I thought Zero was a girl. My brother gave me my first friendly pronoun correction when I was about 5. I said something about Zero and she was doing this or that, and bro was like “…Zero's a guy…robot”. Then I wanted to be Zero. Good memories, them are.

I think most children are "gender non-conforming" if left to their own devices. Of course they are, because gender is a bunch of bullshit.

Yes I was. Never liked wearing dresses. My mom said I rebelled against wearing dresses at a young age. Honestly I think it was more how the clothing felt. Like dresses are restricting compared to shorts or pants. I grew up with 3 older brothers so I played a lot with them. I played with both 'boys' and 'girls' toys (whatever that means).

I mean, yes, but also what does gender-conforming even mean? I guess I was GNC as a child because I liked to dress up as a Native American brave (never a squaw), but I was also Human non conforming because at 4 I only dressed as a cat. Should I have transitioned to transfeline? What about when I was 5 and convinced I was a witch and going to attend Miss Cackle's Academy? Or 6 and obsessed with Howard Carter's discovery of Tutankhamun's tomb? How about when I was 14 and trying to make my ears pointy because I was definitely an Elf? (One of the folk of Lórien, in case anyone was wondering.) Hmm, on balance there's quite a lot of human non-conformity there.

As humans growing up, we play with different identities as a way to explore who we are as emerging personalities. That's normal and healthy and should be allowed without medicalising it. Hell, we carry on playing with roles and identities throughout our lives. I am not the same person with my parents as with my husband - near enough, but not quite. And I'm different again with my child. Certainly different with a boss, or with a friend from childhood vs a friend made in adulthood. That's all as it should be. We're complicated multifaceted beings and we don't fit into these silly boxes that our cultures have made for us.

We have to resist this crazy trend to pathologise everything. It's Big Pharma pushing to take control of our lives, that's all. Children need to be encouraged to use their imaginations and explore those roles and stories safely, that's how they learn who they are, who they want to be (and I don't mean in terms of "I want to be a girl!", but what sort of person - a brave person? A generous person? A self-obsessed person?) and how to be in the world.

Yes.

And then very no at one stage of later teens.

Then back to just being me🤷🏼‍♀️

As a child in care, victim of extreme sexual abuse, diagnosed with adhd and ptsd, long before kids were diagnosed with these, I almost certainly would have been one of the ones who was transitioned as well.

Which is terrifying. Nursed my babies for 3 years, which was life saving for us-I would have lost my sanity if I couldn’t tandem settle/sooth/feed my non sleeping high needs refluxy twins- so it’s heartbreaking to think I would have been one of the first pushed through GIDS if I was a /preteen now.

I think EVERY child has a GNC phase at some point. Its all part of a kid discovering who they are and what they like. For some kids it lasts a just year when they're a toddler; and for some it lasts their whole lives. But I believe it happens to everyone at some point.

None of us were the same people we were at 5, 10, or 15 years old. And its horrible to make kids that young responsible for decisions that will irreversibly alter their bodies and impact their health and fertility.

If this trans shit had existed when I was young, I'm sure I would have been sucked into it. As would one of my male cousins who preferred the company of girls when he was young because his big brothers were mean to him (he's now a decorated Marine who is married with kids)