During the COVID shutdown two years ago, my daughter's teachers switched her name and pronouns without notifying my husband or myself. My husband and I were caught completely by surprise; our 13 year old daughter had been a completely "girly girl" who loved pink, ballet, ice skating, crafts, twirly skirts, hair accessories, and all the stereotypical girl-gendered stuff. Our first response was to take her to therapy. That was a mistake. We paid out of pocket to have adult mental health "professionals" help her navigate from nonbinary to TIF without addressing any of her other mental health issues. I fired the second therapist last summer after she came home from school and announced she was cutting off her breasts and taking testosterone as soon as she was allowed.
I am desperate to save her from her current pathway before she turns 18 (I have 2.5 years left). I quit my full time job a few months ago and am working part time; I am very fortunate that my husband is making enough to support the family. I have used the extra time to focus on my relationship with my daughter. She is super creative and smart and has a unique fashion sense. I have helped her cut and dye her hair however she wants. She likes to sew and paint and bake and listen to obscure indy bands.
I work at the intersection of the arts and education and I hold a very advanced degree. It is likely that by coming out in a public way against our school district that I will never work again in the field I have dedicated my life to, so I have just quietly tried to push back within our own family. I have peaked my husband, my daughter's older siblings, cousins, my parents, in-laws, etc. It didn't take much because they have seen SO MANY other adolescent girls saying they aren't girls. It helps that many people in my family completed significant coursework in college biology. One family member is a retired attorney.
Two days ago I woke up at 3am from a nightmare about my daughter with a TIF beard. I can't even describe how horrifying it was. I don't care about my career any more. I am going absolutely fucking crazy. I want this bullshit to end. Has anyone had any success going up against a school? Did you start with the principal? the school board? the counseling staff? the teachers? I'm ready to get loud and I'm not sure where to start.
I know this advice is controversial, but I would pull her from that school. You won’t win the fight in the 2.5 years you have left.
It sounds like you have financial resources. Could you propose something like a year of “road schooling” to do a deep dive into art?
Something fun and life changing to get her focused on what’s real in life and out of the high school echo chamber.