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33 comments

[–] [Deleted] 43 points (+43|-0)

Honestly, this reminds me of ex-Catholics who grew up conservative, became liberal, left the church and then came back after years' long absences more conservative than ever after having contact with the world that doesn't give a shit about the demarcations of their levels of orthodoxy or heresy. It's possibly interesting to insiders and theologians, of passing interest to some, but dead boring to the rest of the world. Call me harsh but I've seen this before in other worlds and it proves that trans is a religion just like the old timey ones.

[–] crispycherrypie 27 points (+28|-1)

Yeah, this reads like a lapsed Catholic returning to the faith more than anything else. It's very sad.

[–] La 19 points (+19|-0)

That’s a good analogy. I didn’t read the whole thing because it’s too long but it is absolutely an insider’s journey. It’s so much in the fringe of various left ideas that it just can’t be relevant for most people. Maybe if you live on the east bay, a place that is never defined there, never explained where it is, so you have to be an insider to have any idea what she’s talking about.

The problem with trans laws is that they do affect everyone. It’s a niche world that wants everyone else to bend to it. The problem with sexism and misogyny is that it does affect all women. I live in a few extra niche worlds and I could t read through all that.

[–] [Deleted] 15 points (+15|-0)

I couldn't read the whole thing either, very self-referential and insidery. I agree that trans laws affect everyone, and fall harsher on women...as do religious edicts that the old timey religions espouse and make their way into law.

[–] Livin 6 points (+6|-0)

Ky is not a good writer and it reads very convoluted.

[–] millicentfawcett 13 points (+13|-0)

Also a bit like Jane Roe. She flipped back and forth, possibly for money but also likely due to internal conflict given the incredibly high profile of Roe v Wade and the never ending backlash from it.

[–] ProxyMusic 10 points (+10|-0) Edited

It's interesting, too, that she wrote it during Lent and published it just as we're heading into Easter week - the top time in the Catholic calendar for purification through public displays of self-flagellation.

Coming soon: hairshirt binders.

Yeah, she really comes across as a person that jumps to extremes. I have known a few liberals that were woke to an extreme, for instance they would be white but only shop in Asian or Hispanic places and would make fun of white people. Every single one of them, ended up becoming extremely racist and acted like all liberals hate being white and are extreme social justice warriors--when in reality they made other liberals extremely uncomfortable.

[–] sunhatpat 29 points (+29|-0)

This person seems like a tortured soul, well-practiced at telling herself a story, re-inventing her life and her history. This is just her latest story; her latest version of herself. And it sounds like she attaches a lot of her identity to the community she immerses herself in. It's an ideology, and giving it up is hard. It all seems very polarized, by her description. Either you embrace the trans narrative, which states emphatically that being trans is some version of "normal", or you are transphobic, by definition. But hating one's body parts is not healthy, no matter how you spin it. Having dysphoria about one's own body is not a natural state; having discomfort with societal roles is so common an experience, it is nearly universal in the human condition. It is easy to find sympathetic doctors if you want to alter your body. That doesn't mean that the desire to alter one's body is necessarily healthy, or sane. Just because "science" can do something, does not mean to me that it should.

[–] pennygadget 0 points (+0|-0)

And it sounds like she attaches a lot of her identity to the community she immerses herself in.

This is a major problem with young trans people (and young progressives in general). They cannot function unless their beliefs neatly fit into specific political boxes. She wasn't happy with the detransioner or GC crowds. So she's desperately flailing to get back in with her old TRA friends.

[–] hufflepuff-poet 23 points (+23|-0)

Transphobic ideas like "you cannot change your sex", "gender is a social construct and you don't have to change your body because you don't fit your sexes stereotypes of "gender"".

[–] littleowl12 14 points (+14|-0)

The self-hatred and self-flagellation was really sad to see. Lesbians are not hateful for being angry what AGPs have done to their community. And detransitioning won't cure dysphoria, but transition doesn't cure it either. The big difference, though, is that you won't have the terrible side effects from synthetic hormones and plastic surgery.

Detransitioning women are not hateful for being angry about how they were misled. They were lied to by many doctors and activists about what was possible from transition. They downplayed the risks, went for the most lucrative treatment first, and yes, they DID con people.

I hope this woman finds peace. I really do. But this read like the remorseful girlfriend going back to her abuser, apologizing for having had the audacity to leave in the first place.

What gets me is while she does say she feels bad about how she acted---she puts the blame completely on other people. First her doctors and peers when she was trans identified, and then when she went back to being trans identified it was radical feminists fault. We are social people and are easily influenced, but at the same time you have to accept responsibility. After transitoning, there must have been something that made her regret it to the point where she sought out other detransitoners and interviewed with The Stranger and 4th wave now. I do think it is shitty to be I regret transitioning and you guys are right, internalized misogyny made me transition; and then have a change of heart and act like evil radical feminists made you feel that way. Also Rad fems are no where near as huge, powerful and influencial as relgions, her parents did not take her to a conversion camp when she was a teen, this is all on her.

[–] pennygadget 0 points (+0|-0)

she puts the blame completely on other people.

This is a common thread with young trans people. They're taught that society needs to bend to their desire to be viewed as the opposite sex. And, if people around them aren't 110% affirming, they're told to say, "I'm gonna kill myself and it'll be YOUR FAULT for not accepting me!!!". So of course they believe they have zero responsibility for their behaviors and actions

[–] pennygadget 0 points (+0|-0)

But this read like the remorseful girlfriend going back to her abuser, apologizing for having had the audacity to leave in the first place.

Wow. That's a depressing (but accurate) way to look at it.

Like detrans people, Women who leave bad relationships also risk losing their social circle & friends. So its no wonder few of them speak out

[–] EragonPeep 14 points (+15|-1)

I read the whole thing and I'm glad for the opportunity. It is fascinating for me to read about people who have been in both camps and to see where they settle towards the most.

Also though the following line really jarred me in context of how the rest was written:

I also talked about wanting a cock and how that seemed more appealing than having a cunt.

Like, the rest is super eloquent and talking about her internal struggles, but then this line seems so... Brash. Like someone else wrote it. Weird.

[–] littleowl12 13 points (+13|-0)

And I wonder if some of this has to do with her breaking up with her girlfriend, and she wants to return to a community because she feels so isolated and alone. That's what's so sad about how the lesbian community got crushed- it's much smaller now, fewer and further between. Fall out with your small circle of friends and where do you go? Plenty of Queer communities, lesbian not so much. It's so damn sad.

The truth is, it's impossible to change your sex. It just is. The only thing you can do is injure your body and make it sick. You might fuzz up your secondary characteristics a smidgen, but you will never really get there. And don't count on technology making that much progress in ten years or fewer. It's not moving that fast. And in 20 years, it's not going to be just about your sex. It's going to be about saving your life from the crushing effects of hormones.

[–] ProxyMusic 9 points (+9|-0)

The tone reminded me of Amy Dyess - who apparently is now Beau Dyess. Also sounds like the ping-ponging between polar-opposite positions that Maritza/Mark Cummings has done over the years.

BTW, I just looked up Cummings online.Last time I'd done so, she was back to being Mark. Now it seems she's back to being Maritza again and in an OTT way.

https://twitter.com/FreetobeMari?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

She's also found - returned to? - Jesus and has split from her partner. Now she's openly anti-trans and anti-LGB, and railing about "the lust of the flesh," the Devil and so on. A blog entry she posted today:

I am done, it seems the Devil has been really hard at work, I had an argument with my blood sister, she is a Lesbian and can’t stand my ministry and what I stand for now. My ex, continues to live as a trans woman and of coarse gets triggered by me and my guests. This week has been quite the week with Satan and his minions all over me. Well, I say Satan get behind me I rebuke you in the Beautiful and Righteous name of Jesus. I live for him, I don’t care what those in darkness have to say, get in line. I am just saddened that the person I thought I knew has changed and now resorts to lies so that she can live with herself and justify her actions.

https://maritzacummingscorner.wordpress.com/2021/03/26/betrayed/

This cultish movement seems to attract a lot of unstable people given to religious fervor, fanaticism, all-or-nothing thinking ("splitting"), belief in miracle cures, mortifying the flesh, heaven & hell and so on.

[–] littleowl12 4 points (+4|-0)

Maritza is trans depending on if her ex is in her life or not. She seems happiest and most honest when she's away from him and in her religious phase. I know that's not very rad fem of me, but I think she should just stick with her religious community.

When she's away from her husband, she's extremely insightful, informative, and frank. Not cruel, but she tells the whole truth, even stuff other detrans people either miss or haven't discovered yet.

Should she be anti-LGB too? No, but I can see how she feels LGBT as a package has been a big negative in her life. I try to remember that I never got to see the dark side of the community. Being a Pentecostal sure is rough, but it may have been less toxic to her over the years. If she could learn to love herself as a GNC woman, that would be ideal. But it's so hard to do.

[–] vulvapeople 4 points (+4|-0) Edited

She also, ironically, has less opportunity to hurt others as an adherent to a traditional religion since everyone knows what Christians are selling and is free to take it or leave it. Transgender is more of an unknown that people don't know how to protect themselves from and is more authoritarian in its expectations of non-believers.

[–] littleowl12 3 points (+3|-0)

Yeah. Typically, Christians don't recommend radically altering your body for any reason. Technically, you're not even supposed to get tattoos, though this is frequently ignored.

Christians operate on the assumption that non-believers are.....non-believers. When they don't have government control, they accept this as a fact of life.

I feel sorry for people like this....and it really shows what a joke our mental health system is. I just looked up Amy Dyess and she looks like another person who went from I am extremely gender critical to gender critical people are completely abusive and forced be to be a woman----

Even if you do think we are a bunch of jerks, it is impossible for us to force people to do anything and these people are giving us WAY to much power. I used to be

[–] Livin 9 points (+9|-0)

Ky sounds unbalanced and mentally ill. This person jump's from one extreme to the other. After Ky detransitioned, Ky didn't need to join radical feminist groups. No body forced Ky. It was their choice. Ky is not only horrible to radical feminists but also detrans people. She vilifies whoever is the "opposite". While despising both radical feminists and detransitioners Ky seems to think that they are nevertheless able to speak for both communities. Ky invalidates detransitioners experiences and stories in transgender communities. But then using that logic, why should the rest of the world find Ky's earlier detransition experiences to be valid. Ky was never ever a "true detransitioner". Using Ky's thought process, that means Ky's previous detransition experiences was not true detransitioner's experiences. And therefore Ky does not have a voice and cannot speak on behalf of detransition people.

I have so much compassion for any who is detrans. And from my understanding most detransitioners are understanding and supportive of transitioning, but just that it didn't work for them. They needed more time and safeguards in place while they were in the process of questioning and experimenting with their gender, identity, and sexuality. Detransitioners also deserve to have space to talk about their own feelings and experiences, and it would make sense that they may have some feelings against transgender ideology and identity politics. Not all detransitioners support radical feminism. Ky see's everything in black and white, and it seems like struggles with critical thinking. Or maybe Ky needs a lot attention and jumps to whatever side will give them that much craved attention and validation.

[–] RikkiTikkiTavi 4 points (+4|-0)

I like your summary and I agree. This person is mentally unbalanced and swaying between extremes. I kept waiting to find out what the conclusion was going to be, but there was none that I could find.

One would hope that having gone the trans route and then the de-trans route a person would arrive with more empathy towards both situations. Instead there is this polar opposite response. One line of thinking at war with another line of thinking.

There is this impression at the end of this long bit of writing that this person considers themself equally male and female. Ky states not being interested in physically changing, but I could not tell if that was a past consideration or if physical transitioning is something in Ky's future.

I really think the pendulum is going to swing again. So in Ky's history there is announcing being trans, announcing being de-trans and now announcing being ?not de-trans? - ?de-trans failure? I am not sure and I don't really get the idea that Ky is sure either. All I really got from that read was that Ky feels dysphoria.

I think you are right that Ky wants attention and validation.

She still uses female pronouns and says she is a detrans woman...take that what you will. I also get the impression she sees herself as both a man and a woman.

Interestingly enough, the first detrans person I cam across was on Femineste and she was one of the mods. She didn't place the blame on anyone for transitioning or detransitioning and actually was a really nice and wasn't obsessed with being seen as a trans person. Ky though just seems to want everyone to feel sorry for her and to be against whoever she is against. I remember when first wave now interviewed her and she was angry at her doctors and peers.

[–] hellamomzilla 6 points (+6|-0) Edited

I know this isn't the response I'm supposed to have, but can anyone PM me where I can find these women in the East Bay?

edited to add: The gender critical ones that Schevers seems to think are horrible. It sounds like we might share some similar ideas and could enjoy hanging out.

[–] pixiebiz 4 points (+4|-0)

I'm on the peninsula 😁

[–] hellamomzilla 5 points (+5|-0)

Are you into reality? I'm into reality. We should hang out.

HA

[–] pixiebiz 4 points (+4|-0)

I'm thinking of organizing a SV meet up of regular Ovaritters once I get my vax, I have a strong suspicion that there are a lot of Bay Area peeps on here.

[–] EllaWashington 2 points (+2|-0)

I couldn't read it, the mental gymnastics were far too much. This individual sounds like a tortured personality - reminds me of a line in a song, "I'm like a mirror, like a mirror; I'm nothing until you look at me."