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Almost every convicted male domestic batterer has the same story. He was the one being attacked. He was just defending himself. The truth keeps trickling in bit by bit under scrutiny. It inevitably ends up something like this:

"I may have punched her in the face this once, but she stabs me in the heart with her cruelty day in and day out"

His own offense is minimalized (a woman hospitalized for a concussion and severely injured enough to secure a conviction was "punched") and his version of what led to this uses much more violent and dramatic imagery than he earlier used.

In this way a woman's words become "literal" violence simply because violence is the emotion and course of action that they inspire in the man. Because violence is what he resorts to, violence of a similar nature must have inspired it. It simply wouldn't be logical for it to come out of nowhere.

This is how we can't even show up to protests with signs saying "adult human female" without being accused of genocide, but very violent threats, assault at protests, calls for harm, and harassment are just perfectly fine. A bit of tit for tat, a bit of literal violence in the face of literal violence.

The tactics of violent men are being employed while it feels like the entire world celebrates.

Almost every convicted male domestic batterer has the same story. He was the one being attacked. He was just defending himself. The truth keeps trickling in bit by bit under scrutiny. It inevitably ends up something like this: "I may have punched her in the face this once, but she stabs me in the heart with her cruelty day in and day out" His own offense is minimalized (a woman hospitalized for a concussion and severely injured enough to secure a conviction was "punched") and his version of what led to this uses much more violent and dramatic imagery than he earlier used. In this way a woman's words become "literal" violence simply because **violence is the emotion and course of action that they inspire in the man**. Because violence is what he resorts to, violence of a similar nature must have inspired it. It simply wouldn't be logical for it to come out of nowhere. This is how we can't even show up to protests with signs saying "adult human female" without being accused of genocide, but very violent threats, assault at protests, calls for harm, and harassment are just perfectly fine. A bit of tit for tat, a bit of literal violence in the face of literal violence. The tactics of violent men are being employed while it feels like the entire world celebrates.

13 comments

[–] sodonewiththis 34 points Edited

YES. THIS.

I believe it's no accident that many of the strongest voices standing against women's erasure are domestic violence victims. Like J K Rowling for example. We know what this is. We recognize the red flags sooner than other women. Why? Because we've already seen it close up and personal.

When I hear a man describe women's WORDS as violence, I hear the echo of my former abuser. Of all the times he committed potentially lethal violence against me and my children. And all the times he told me that I was "making" him do it. That I was "making" him crazy.

My WORDS made him do it. My WORDS were so unforgivable that he was entitled to crush and humiliate me in order to shut me up. My WORDS were such a lethal threat to his fragile ego that he was justified in literal violence to terrify me into silence.

Anytime a man blames his violence on a woman's, he is telling us loud and clear what he really is:

AN ABUSER

And as Maya Angelou said: "When someone tells you who they are ... believe them!"

I believe it's no accident that many of the strongest voices standing against women's erasure are domestic violence victims.

Yes, and imo this is why libfems have worked so tirelessly to infiltrate and undermine the women's sector. It used to represent female solidarity and class consciousness.

I admire you so much for making it out with your children. They will never forget that you were strong enough to show them justice and loved them enough to protect them, at great risk to yourself.

It's so ironic that for men on the left, women speaking out about trans issues is considered "literal violence" that not only warrants rpe/ dath threats and physical violence.

They claim that women speaking out about their own rights is what inspires men to inflict physical violence on trans identified males.

But talk to any right of center male pundit and they all say the same thing-- "why aren't women talking about this? Why are feminists not fighting against this??"

It's almost as if misogynistic men only pay attention to what women say when they can attack or condem them for it....

[–] TrustYourself detrans 17 points

Men can't admit that words hurt them. They can't show they are sensitive or have feelings because that exposes them as weak to other men so it's WORDS ARE VIOLENCE. WOMEN ARE VIOLENT JUST LIKE MEN. A false equivalency.

Recently I was venting about a situation. Now, I would never be violent in a situation unless it was called for (self defense or some other circumstance) but a man who was listening told me I was "a very violent woman". No, I have been wronged and am very fed up of being treated like a punching bag. I am not the violent one, I am on the receiving end of men's BS. It's frustrating even speak up about protecting myself or using violence for defense, then I am the angry "violent" one - just for using words.

"Men can't admit that words hurt them. They can't show they are sensitive or have feelings because that exposes them as weak to other men so it's WORDS ARE VIOLENCE. "

Absolutely brilliant 🙌

If your self worth depends on being able to control a woman you have to constantly work to maintain that control, and a woman who isn't under your control is perceived as an existential threat. Violent men have this in common with narcisists.

[–] TrustYourself detrans 1 points

a woman who isn't under your control is perceived as an existential threat.

Which is why a lot of men are sad that religion and "traditional values" are losing hold on society because shaping women into being submissive and obedient was such a social glue.

Yes, it is the height of hypocracy that "women's rights are not hate" is LITERAL GENOCIDAL VIOLENCE BY TERF FEMINAZIS, WE ALL ABOUT TO BE MURDERED!!!!! but "decapitate terfs" and "choke on my girldick cum dumpster terf" are just acceptable self defence.

Just once I would like to see a TRA clearly and cohesively explain exactly how TERFs are enacting a literal genocide against trans people. Please, do explain how wanting female-only spaces or sports or language is literally violently wiping trans people off the face of the earth. Are there TERF brigades going around beating up TRAs and threatening to rape them? Are TERFs in charge of the government and creating concentration camps for trans people? Statistically are TERFs the people who generally commit murder and violence against others? Are TERFs just so all-powerful that they can compel trans people to commit suicide?

Instead it’s all about “Well that mean old evil TERF over there said I wasn’t really a woman so she and her Feminazi ilk obviously want to wipe us all out! Words are literal violence! We must defend ourselves and fight back with threats of rape and death! They deserve it!”

FFS. Grow the fuck up. “Mean” words do not equal literal violence or literal threats of violence. You know, as opposed to actual threats of violence, such as the wonderful sentiment of “DECAPITATE TERFS!”

Exactly. It’s all part of the pathetic attempt to “prove” women are just as violent as men, and hence dissimulate the endemic nature of male violence. They desperately want it to be true. They desperately want there to be some hidden mass grave of male victims of women, somewhere, all so they can protect their fragile egos. That’s how little they value any life, male or female.

[–] Philogynist 🦋🌍🍃 8 points

This is such a great post. Thank you for sharing this insight.

Yep its he same old same old, and just like the man behind closed doors it has got to the point where words are not even needed for an excuse, people maybe scratching their heads now at what the hell JK said wrong originally, but now we are at the point that reading her name is a trigger, and she's given up being tactful in her speech as whats the point they have already damned her anyway.

this is exactly the same reason I hated Boris Johnson, its all just male pattern abuse in full public view.