My boyfriend had a work function recently and I tagged along. Thought I'd clean myself up for once, and wore a nice classy black dress. He had just finished giving a small speech, as he's in a leadership position. He walked to the back of the room where I was standing with a small crowd of people and gave me a peck on the lips and we started chit chatting. And then...... it happened....
Out of the corner of my eye, I get that sensation that I'm being watched. I glance in that direction and catch a TIM staring at me. We live in a liberal area, and my boyfriend is in a liberal industry. Thus, there were many TIMs of all shapes and sizes at this event. This particular one I actually didn't initially recognize as a gender anything when I first noticed him (before he started staring). I first just thought he was a large, heavy set man with greasy blue hair and that was it. Upon glancing in his direction again, I realized they were trying to be a TIM.
So here's how it went down. I give them that initial glance of "I caught you staring." Did that deter our TIM in the slightest? Not a chance. Rock solid, unwavering, laser focused eyes locked on me like a fighter jet's targeting system. So then I give a sort of double glance. You know what I'm talking about? The ol' "Are you staring? Yes, you ARE staring." This TIM was unshakable. An impregnable bulwark (pun intended). We were fencing for an Olympic gold medal and I was getting shredded to pieces. I had one final tactic. After another minute I give the double take glance again, but this time added in a half second frown at the end. Surely our TIM will pick up on this signal, and recognize how uncomfortable they're making me. Surely this is my coup de grace.
I stood defeated on the battlefield. Our TIM, the victor in this battle of wits. His eyes... they must have been granted +5 piercing by some mystical amulet. They seemed to sear through my very soul. I never stood a chance. After a full five minutes of being showered by his squinty gaze, his friends started to leave and had to tug at him, saying "c'mon, let's go." And just like that, I was freed from his attention by his allies, bless them.
Ok, so I almost marked this as a humor post. But this really did play out pretty much as described, and it was very uncomfortable. I thought it best to make light of the situation, that's usually how I deal with things anyway, despite it being very creepy. I think the worst part for me, is that when someone does something like that to you, you know that they're thinking something, and it's probably not a nice something. But you don't know what exactly is going through their minds. Whatever it is, the men that "identify as women" have some different ideas about what is and isn't rude, apparently. I know this is just one person, but it's also not the first time something like this has happened, probably just the most stark example. Stay safe out there.
My male partner was astonished when I told him about a man trying to stare me down. He says if a man did it to a man they’d be looking for a fight.
Men 100% know how aggressive and intimidating this behaviour is, and that’s why they do it.
I hope you are okay, being on the wrong end of a psychopath’s stare can genuinely mess with your head. It’s like they drop the mask and let you see there’s no soul in there.