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26 comments

[–] songoftheworms 26 points (+26|-0)

That feeling when a mother calls her daughter "they/them" on the PRESCHOOLERS subreddit because...

It started with their insistence that their super hero and race car shirts were “boy” shirts and a refusal to wear dresses. Then they said they can’t play with a friend at daycare because “they’re a girl so they play with girls” and the introduction of the idea that they’re only allowed to play with children of the same gender as they are. Then that they wanted to swap out their unicorn bedding for super Mario themed sheets. My kiddo isn’t very consistent with this however (squealing over a new party dress and shoes one day, insisting on a dinosaur polo for formal wear the next week)

Heavy. I know parenting a young child is difficult but this is all a bit depressing. Very glad to see, though, that most of the commentariat aren't telling mom to haul DD4 to the gender therapist for the high crime of Preferring Vidya to Unicorns While Female.

[–] Owlchaser 10 points (+10|-0)

My kiddo isn’t very consistent with this however (squealing over a new party dress and shoes one day, insisting on a dinosaur polo for formal wear the next week)

How does an adult have sex, give birth, and go on to be confused over what a girl is?

I mean, why doesn't she try to affirm her child might be a literal dinosaur? Kid obviously likes 'dinosaur things' soooo pretty sure she is literally a dinosaur.

Also that "they/their" stuff is so confusing:

Then **they **said they can’t play with a friend at daycare because “they’re a girl so they play with girls” and the introduction of the idea that they’re only allowed to play with children of the same gender as they are.

Who said? The kid said her friend is a girl, so her friend should play with other girls? Did the daycare say this kid's friend is a girl? Is the kid in question saying she herself is a girl?

[–] MeNsTrUaToR27 9 points (+9|-0)

Yea thankfully I haven't seen much evidence that the trans kids bs is gonna catch on

[–] Nasrin 23 points (+23|-0)

As a woman who went through: "I'm a dinosaur" for way too long before realizing I couldn't become a dinosaur and was stuck as a human... it's a phase.

Glad so many women are pointing out that it's a phase and even if the mother and father aren't pushing gender stereotypes their daughter may still be observing them and finding them unfair and thus trying to identify out.

[–] Lilim 12 points (+12|-0)

I wanted to be a cat when I was 4. In fairness, I still do, but the best I can hope for is reincarnation and enjoying how my cat can get unfairly comfortable in this life 😂

[–] Nasrin 10 points (+10|-0)

I still daydream of being a dinosaur stalking through a lush jungle to be fair. 😆

enjoying how my cat can get unfairly comfortable in this life 😂

Seriously, how do cats suddenly turn their bones to gelatin so they can ooze into a puddle of fluff in the presence of a sunny window!? I need to know this magical technique! 🤣

[–] Tyro 1 points (+1|-0)

My kid's been identifying as a cat for a few years now. I just roll with it, though there are limits - I'm fine with conversations comprised entirely of meows and she can sit in a cardboard box for as long as she likes, but she still has to use cutlery and wear pants.

[–] shewolfoffrance 8 points (+8|-0)

Dinosaurs are really cool though. Do you have favorite?

[–] Nasrin 9 points (+9|-0)

I wanted to be a Carcharodontosaurus. I used to stalk around roaring at people and chasing other children and even bit a few "prey" (my poor parents) I was also partial to the Spinosaurus aegyptiacus and still am because they're amazing.

What's your favorite?

[–] shewolfoffrance 9 points (+9|-0)

I love my ceratopsidae. They're like prehistoric bison. My favorite has to be pentaceratops. That said, I've seen some apatosaurus footprint fossils in museums, and they're just so endearing.

[–] Womancup 16 points (+16|-0)

I'm so glad the comments are sane. A 4-year-old says a bunch of things, no need to take them seriously. If she says she's a cat, that's just as valid if she says she's a boy

[–] Moonflower 9 points (+9|-0)

Yeah, it was really refreshing to see so many sensible comments on something that should be so utterly obvious. The closest thing to the usual Reddit nonsense was the person who showed up to say “Hi, I'm transgender and I work in childcare” and then claimed that “gender identity” develops at age 3 or 4... But even that one acknowledged the possibility of uncertainty, and is further down with fewer upvotes (for now at least)

[–] Tyro 1 points (+1|-0)

At age three or four many kids are aware that humans come in 'boy' and 'girl' types, and are starting to mentally categorise themselves accordingly.

If they've been given the basics of reproductive sex - two types of undercarriage and you need both to make a baby - then it's just a matter of gently correcting them whenever they intuit a new stereotype and wonder if it's relevant to the boy/girl distinction.

Sometimes a kid will erroneously place themselves in a category at a very young age. This is because they do not fully appreciate the boundaries of the category. If a four year old female child claims to be a boy it's because she does not sufficiently understand what a boy is, ie a physiologically male child.

[–] Researcher1536 14 points (+14|-0)

A friend's 5 year old said he was a girl. He's autistic and he's barely verbal, so I chalked it up to him not understanding girl-boy. My friend was GLEEFUL that she might have a gender special child. I told her he's 5 and he probably messes up the words. Kids say stuff. He's 5. It was sickening. I've distanced myself from her.

[–] shewolfoffrance 12 points (+12|-0)

Contrary to TRA belief, small children do not have some infallible sense of gendersoul. They do have curious minds and active imaginations.

[–] questioningtw 0 points (+0|-0)

Ruby Rose has talked about how she is glad no one listend to her wanting to be a boy as a child, because she is npw happy to be a gender non comforming woman. I have also read other blogs of women saying that they wanted to be boys too because they where active and adventurous and saw women as being non of those things and their fathers being that. Apparently, though we are supposed to ignore this and listen to TRAs drone on and on about how it was obvious they where trans because as little kids they played with the "wrong" toys.

[–] questioningtw 12 points (+12|-0) Edited

I am so glad to see sanity in the comments. One of my nieces kept insisting that in MLP Rainbow Dash and Applejack where boys, no matter how much everyone said no they aren't. She also kept on refusing to play with cars because they are for boys...kids that age tend to be very, very rigid in their thinking and reminding them, that no, girls can and do wear what they want or play with what they want.

[–] Womancup 5 points (+5|-0)

But I heard that toddlers know their truth and we need to trust them!

[–] Flaneuse 11 points (+11|-0)

Sorry mum, your kid is a boring old tomboy, the likes of which have existed as long as we’ve been imposing gender stereotypes on girls.

[–] maryjanerx 10 points (+10|-0)

Ugh the comments from u/caffineandvodka. Hi, I'm transgender and I work in childcare. First off THANK YOU for trying to do best by your child instead of shutting them down immediately. You're already on the right track in that respect.

Gender identity develops around the age of 3 or 4 once a child is able to understand the concept. However at that age it's easy to confuse identity with presentation, or believe the idea that only boys/girls like certain things and so if you like something you have to be a boy/girl. Whether this is a phase or they are actually a boy will only become clear over time as they develop and learn to express themselves better.

For now, my advice would be to allow them to express themselves how they wish. Certain things like the mohawk can be compromised on, like learning to plait their hair down the middle in a "fauxhawk". If they want to wear "boy's" clothes, let them. Their comfort is more important than other people's view on gender roles. You can buy books which deal with gender identity in child friendly ways and talk about how you feel inside, and talk to them how words and clothing can make us feel good or bad and how it's different for everyone.

I'd also like to offer my own time, if you want it. You can message me on here if you have any other questions and I'll try my best to reply promptly. I can't promise I'll have all the answers but hopefully I'll be able to give you some support and reassurance.

Again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I wish I had parents like you as a child.

....

Stalked their profile. Total stoner, self admitted bpd person. Ugly man

[–] Bazzaar 3 points (+3|-0)

Lol I couldn't finish reading beyond the first paragraph, the way they talk just grates on me. Any trans person involved with children and pushing trans idealogy is immidietely sus. A groomer to the TRA cult or a pedophile,not mutually exclusive either.

[–] OneStarWolf 5 points (+5|-0)

Pretty sure I identified as a puppy dog for a time around that age... haha. I also shunned all girl toys and only played video games and hung out with the younger boy neighbor across the street instead of his same age sister (she was boring!) lol!

Thank god that was before all the gender woo or I might have been forced into becoming a trans boy instead of just being a super happy tomboy girl! I grew up to be a STEM major and girl gamer who is very happily married with a husband and kids :)

These crazy ass parents need to to chill and instead reinforce that kids can be happy doing whatever they want regardless of their sex. Stop reinforcing trans agenda through gender stereotypes. A girl doesn’t have to be turned into a boy just because she likes boy toys or clothes! She’s a girl who just happens to enjoy more boy oriented things, just like me <3

Please stop destroying the tomboys and lesbians of the next generation!

[–] halfthesky 1 points (+1|-0)

If she insisted she was a horse, would the mother think it was a phase or not?