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Link here: This will be a bit of a rant.

https://www.autostraddle.com/this-is-an-essay-about-penises/

If you told my young bi self that in 2021 Autostraddle, the lesbian website, would post an essay by a dude about his dick I would say "for April fools day, right?" Yet here we are. Yes, I know Autostraddle has been captured by gender woo for years now. But something I find interesting is lately TIMS have been adopting a more hectoring, berating tone to their supporters and allies. You had better watch out, dudes, because women won't stand being lectured to forever.

He starts with a couple of paragraphs talking about his cock. Seriously, why do men love talking about their dicks so much? No one gives a shit. He then goes on to accuse his supporters, who OF COURSE believe TWAW etc of not being TRUE believers. You see, he has a problem with lesbians - namely, they can't quite get rid of the pesky belief that dicks are associated with men. And it's YOUR fault his dysphoria is so bad. (Note, to any potential trans supporters out there. Nothing you do will ever be good enough. He says it himself. You can date him, you can march for him, you can post supportive tweets - he knows you don't really believe he's a woman. And that makes him mad.)

One of my favourite bits is when he talks about lesbians dating him, but they won't fuck him. "Of course, cis lesbians are still interested in me" he lies to himself. He complains that instead of secret sex affairs, lesbians instead have long drawn out emotional affairs that don't culminate in sex. Boring!

He then complains that the lesbian community constantly subjects him to micro aggressions by making jokes about dick, or by saying that men are trash and dissing their dicks. My dude, you don't get to LARP as a member of an oppressed group, turn up to their meetings and then complain when they say nasty things about their oppressors.

I have to give this dude credit for having enough self awareness to actually get it, even if he doesn't like the truth. He says "You can learn people’s pronouns and post things on Trans Visibility Day and tweet all about how Trans Women Are Women, but if you are still associating genitalia with gender then you have done a whole lot of surface work and changed none of your core beliefs. And so, when I hear these comments, it’s unsurprising when you don’t want to date me. And so, when I hear these comments, it concerns me when you do."

Yes, sir, you absolutely get it. You are correct. Women do not really believe these things they say. You have twigged that it is all performative. They will say they support you, and superficially they will support you. But they will still very much see you as a dude with a dick. And what you want is impossible. He wants to control women's thoughts - he wants their very innermost core beliefs to change, to align with the view that women can have dicks and dicks have nothing to do with men. But, mate, you are never going to get that! And I do wonder how these TIMS are going to react, when more and more of them begin to poke and prod and realise that for most women this belief that TWAW is shallow, unintegrated, and mostly performative. You have scared women into professing allegiance, but not very far beneath the surface they don't really believe it. I had a friend who never spoke to me again because I refused to concede that TWAW. The very next day, after professing to be a true believer, she posted a joke about how 'the best thing about lesbian sex is you can't get pregnant." In her most unguarded, reflexive moments she just DOESN'T REALLY BELIEVE IT. And none of these women really believe it either. Hell, I don't think HE believes it.

At the end of his self absorbed screed he confesses that his loyalties will always lie with TIMS like himself and he doesn't have any loyalty to "cis" women (as he dismissively calls them)and doesn't really care about them. And this, I hope, is partly how this movement will unravel. Because you may not have any loyalty to women, Drew, but you sure as shit need women's support to keep this grift going. And even though women (myself included) have been socialised to be kind and empathetic and accommodating to male desires, our patience does begin to thin when we give and get nothing but contempt in return. You may not like it very much, but women are becoming more and more aware of the tactics of abusive men - we don't like being abused and treated like shit one bit. If you keep treating women like crap, believe me you won't have any allies for much longer.

"I am tired of educating people on this history. I am tired of educating people on the most basic principles of biology. I am tired of first dates turning into gender studies classes. I am tired of not knowing why things didn’t work out with someone and then finding evidence in their microaggressions months later. I am tired."

I imagine it is tiring, to look like a basic-ass male and try to muscle your way into the lesbian community, to have to live on a completely warped parallel reality. I imagine it is. But no one forced you to LARP as a lesbian and impose yourself on their community. It's amazing you even get any reception at all.

And then we get to the disgusting rapey core of this gross paean to his peen: "I feel more certain than ever that visibility and mere acceptance are not enough. The only way to fight transphobia in a way that’s substantial, effective, and permanent, is for our culture to shift its very notion of gender. That is not going to start with transphobes. That’s going to start with people who consider themselves trans-inclusive, but have so much internal work left to do. That’s going to start with a queer woman who respects my pronouns, but is still uncomfortable at the thought of my penis."

You here that, allies? Mere acceptance is not enough. You still have so much internal work to do (isn't this just like scientology? You thought you completed the Bridge, but oh shit you are wrong! Turns out you have to pay 60k to complete the Bridge all over again! You have soooo many thetans left to cleanse!) Did you, trans supporter, really think that waving a flag and using the correct pronouns was enough? Oh, you did? Well, sorry to inform you but you can't be uncomfortable at dick now. Oh, you thought that was a 'Terfy' myth , a boogey man, a fairy tale made up by 4chan? Yeah, well now it's on the front page of your online lesbian magazine.

He then ends with: "I’m not asking for perfection. But I am asking for effort. Not for my sex life — I wouldn’t date most of you anyway — but for my humanity, for the humanity of so many. Don’t repeat platitudes. Really unlearn your binary connections between genitalia and gender. Really unlearn the associations you bring to bodies you’ve yet known. Really unlearn these things and start seeing trans people as individuals, as people. Unlearn these things because if you don’t trans lives will continue to be debated in the Senate and I will not fuck you."

You see that ladies? You aren't putting enough effort in for Drew (speaking of effort, he can't even be bothered to shave properly and change his name). You must work HARDER. Oh and at the end of it you can't expect any reward. Drew is positively dripping with contempt for you. He sure as shit won't fuck you, ew(why are these dudes always so confident that women want them? Drew is a 3/10 at best.) All you have to do is unlearn your deepest concepts and associations (and how the fuck do we do that, Drew? How the fuck do women, especially lesbians, learn how to like dick?) And he ends with a threat that if women don't do all this labour for him he'll pout and not let us fuck him. Oh no, not that! Anything but that!

Of course, I didn't expect anything different but the comments are effusive and gushing.It just continues to disappoint me that no matter how abusive these men act (and they really do behave like the most abusive men I have ever known) they continue to get praise.

Link here: This will be a bit of a rant. https://www.autostraddle.com/this-is-an-essay-about-penises/ If you told my young bi self that in 2021 Autostraddle, the lesbian website, would post an essay by a dude about his dick I would say "for April fools day, right?" Yet here we are. Yes, I know Autostraddle has been captured by gender woo for years now. But something I find interesting is lately TIMS have been adopting a more hectoring, berating tone to their supporters and allies. You had better watch out, dudes, because women won't stand being lectured to forever. He starts with a couple of paragraphs talking about his cock. Seriously, why do men love talking about their dicks so much? No one gives a shit. He then goes on to accuse his supporters, who OF COURSE believe TWAW etc of not being TRUE believers. You see, he has a problem with lesbians - namely, they can't quite get rid of the pesky belief that dicks are associated with men. And it's YOUR fault his dysphoria is so bad. (Note, to any potential trans supporters out there. Nothing you do will ever be good enough. He says it himself. You can date him, you can march for him, you can post supportive tweets - he knows you don't really believe he's a woman. And that makes him mad.) One of my favourite bits is when he talks about lesbians dating him, but they won't fuck him. "Of course, cis lesbians are still interested in me" he lies to himself. He complains that instead of secret sex affairs, lesbians instead have long drawn out emotional affairs that don't culminate in sex. Boring! He then complains that the lesbian community constantly subjects him to micro aggressions by making jokes about dick, or by saying that men are trash and dissing their dicks. My dude, you don't get to LARP as a member of an oppressed group, turn up to their meetings and then complain when they say nasty things about their oppressors. I have to give this dude credit for having enough self awareness to actually get it, even if he doesn't like the truth. He says "You can learn people’s pronouns and post things on Trans Visibility Day and tweet all about how Trans Women Are Women, but if you are still associating genitalia with gender then you have done a whole lot of surface work and changed none of your core beliefs. And so, when I hear these comments, it’s unsurprising when you don’t want to date me. And so, when I hear these comments, it concerns me when you do." Yes, sir, you absolutely get it. You are correct. Women do not really believe these things they say. You have twigged that it is all performative. They will say they support you, and superficially they will support you. But they will still very much see you as a dude with a dick. And what you want is impossible. He wants to control women's thoughts - he wants their very innermost core beliefs to change, to align with the view that women can have dicks and dicks have nothing to do with men. But, mate, you are never going to get that! And I do wonder how these TIMS are going to react, when more and more of them begin to poke and prod and realise that for most women this belief that TWAW is shallow, unintegrated, and mostly performative. You have scared women into professing allegiance, but not very far beneath the surface they don't really believe it. I had a friend who never spoke to me again because I refused to concede that TWAW. The very next day, after professing to be a true believer, she posted a joke about how 'the best thing about lesbian sex is you can't get pregnant." In her most unguarded, reflexive moments she just DOESN'T REALLY BELIEVE IT. And none of these women really believe it either. Hell, I don't think HE believes it. At the end of his self absorbed screed he confesses that his loyalties will always lie with TIMS like himself and he doesn't have any loyalty to "cis" women (as he dismissively calls them)and doesn't really care about them. And this, I hope, is partly how this movement will unravel. Because you may not have any loyalty to women, Drew, but you sure as shit need women's support to keep this grift going. And even though women (myself included) have been socialised to be kind and empathetic and accommodating to male desires, our patience does begin to thin when we give and get nothing but contempt in return. You may not like it very much, but women are becoming more and more aware of the tactics of abusive men - we don't like being abused and treated like shit one bit. If you keep treating women like crap, believe me you won't have any allies for much longer. "I am tired of educating people on this history. I am tired of educating people on the most basic principles of biology. I am tired of first dates turning into gender studies classes. I am tired of not knowing why things didn’t work out with someone and then finding evidence in their microaggressions months later. I am tired." I imagine it is tiring, to look like a basic-ass male and try to muscle your way into the lesbian community, to have to live on a completely warped parallel reality. I imagine it is. But no one forced you to LARP as a lesbian and impose yourself on their community. It's amazing you even get any reception at all. And then we get to the disgusting rapey core of this gross paean to his peen: "I feel more certain than ever that visibility and mere acceptance are not enough. The only way to fight transphobia in a way that’s substantial, effective, and permanent, is for our culture to shift its very notion of gender. That is not going to start with transphobes. That’s going to start with people who consider themselves trans-inclusive, but have so much internal work left to do. That’s going to start with a queer woman who respects my pronouns, but is still uncomfortable at the thought of my penis." You here that, allies? Mere acceptance is not enough. You still have so much internal work to do (isn't this just like scientology? You thought you completed the Bridge, but oh shit you are wrong! Turns out you have to pay 60k to complete the Bridge all over again! You have soooo many thetans left to cleanse!) Did you, trans supporter, really think that waving a flag and using the correct pronouns was enough? Oh, you did? Well, sorry to inform you but you can't be uncomfortable at dick now. Oh, you thought that was a 'Terfy' myth , a boogey man, a fairy tale made up by 4chan? Yeah, well now it's on the front page of your online lesbian magazine. He then ends with: "I’m not asking for perfection. But I am asking for effort. Not for my sex life — I wouldn’t date most of you anyway — but for my humanity, for the humanity of so many. Don’t repeat platitudes. Really unlearn your binary connections between genitalia and gender. Really unlearn the associations you bring to bodies you’ve yet known. Really unlearn these things and start seeing trans people as individuals, as people. Unlearn these things because if you don’t trans lives will continue to be debated in the Senate and I will not fuck you." You see that ladies? You aren't putting enough effort in for Drew (speaking of effort, he can't even be bothered to shave properly and change his name). You must work HARDER. Oh and at the end of it you can't expect any reward. Drew is positively dripping with contempt for you. He sure as shit won't fuck you, ew(why are these dudes always so confident that women want them? Drew is a 3/10 at best.) All you have to do is unlearn your deepest concepts and associations (and how the fuck do we do that, Drew? How the fuck do women, especially lesbians, learn how to like dick?) And he ends with a threat that if women don't do all this labour for him he'll pout and not let us fuck him. Oh no, not that! Anything but that! Of course, I didn't expect anything different but the comments are effusive and gushing.It just continues to disappoint me that no matter how abusive these men act (and they really do behave like the most abusive men I have ever known) they continue to get praise.

187 comments

[–] Nasrin 90 points (+90|-0)

And he ends with a threat that if women don't do all this labour for him he'll pout and not let us fuck him. Oh no, not that! Anything but that!

I made it to that quote, started writing something similar, and realized you covered it.

The very maleness of presuming that we care whether or not a man wants to have sex with us, lesbians, is the textbook definition of entitlement.

[–] Carthimundia [OP] 65 points (+65|-0)

It's SO male. It's such an entitled abusive male way of thinking. Years ago I'm sorry to say I tried dating a TIM and he was really scary - obsessed with guns, kept talking about how much he loved shooting things, was ex military...yeah, no thanks. I politely declined to see him again and he sent me this deranged rant about how he didn't like me anyway, I was never getting any of his amazing dick, I had missed out on the best thing in my life and he was not going to let me have a second chance even if I begged. It was just this insane thing, like I actually deeply gave a shit about him and was devastated at 'losing my chance' with this dude. I blocked him and thought he was a weirdo, but I've noticed that so many of them have this almost unreal aggressive self regard.

[–] bellatrixbells 22 points (+22|-0)

Seriously what is it with ex military men turning into TIMs !?!?

[–] KBash 15 points (+15|-0)

It seems to be disproportionately military men and men in tech, I guess businessmen after that. Highly male-dominated fields, some with lots of machismo.

[–] Tyro 8 points (+8|-0)

They used the army to validate their understanding of themselves as Real Men. When that's taken away, they look for a different role in which they think they'll feel they're winning at being Real People.

The only ex-army one I've met was injured during service and as a result couldn't perform sexually any more. He outright admitted if he couldn't be a man in that regard then he might as well be a woman sexually instead.

[–] notyourfetish 3 points (+3|-0)

Military men are intensely insecure, desperate for respect and validation, fragile, and mentally ill from combat/ years of having witnessed intense violence. They are the perfect recipe for the eventual TIM.

[–] XX_Power 9 points (+9|-0)

Absolutely!

However i have to give him some points for realizing that women don't see him as a woman. Usually TIMs are even more clueless than him and take the anxious and disturbed woman calling him "ma'am" because she knows if she doesn't he might bash in her skull, as genuine acceptance into womanhood lmao

[–] notyourfetish 4 points (+4|-0) Edited

Remember that woman back in 2018 who got kicked in the face by some crazy genderist dude? It went viral because it was caught on camera. He kicked her in the face in front of a crowd of people because she had said something in favor of feminism that went against transgenderism. (I think that's what happened. I can't recall. But the point is, she said something he didn't like and was met with typical male violence.)

As ever, women have been beaten, bullied, and terrorized into submission. Of course TWAW is a performance for most! And lesbians are a tiny minority within a minority. Some of us have been beaten up by TIMs for saying no, and no one was jumping in to help us anymore than that straight woman who got kicked in the face. We are in no position to stand up to these assholes.

Yet the baffled, self-centered males don't give a shit and screech about their gender feels. In their tiny minds, women only exist to be fucked by them and go along with their perverted fantasies and delusions. The end.

[–] IrishTheFrenchie 87 points (+87|-0)

From the article

When I did start masturbating, I always watched cis lesbian porn — or more esoteric penis-free content like the opening moments of Barbarella.

And this sick bastard honestly believes this makes him a lesbian. Because straight men NEVER watch lesbian porn, even though 99% lesbian porn is by men/for men.

What must it be like to have your head so far up your own ass that you attribute classic signs that you are a woman-hating prick and convince yourself it means you're a woman?

[–] Carthimundia [OP] 56 points (+56|-0)

This is what I find confusing about the whole thing. He seems thoroughly miserable in the presence of women (and not just because they keep 'micro-aggressing' him by dissing penises.) He seems thoroughly disdainful and contemptuous of them. I don't get how guys like these even bother to 'identify' as women when they just don't seem to like women very much.

[–] llkit 55 points (+55|-0)

It's the envy element of agp. The love and the hate go hand in hand. They love their male idea of what it is too be a woman. It's obviously not the same as what it is too be a woman. They hate us for not meeting their standard. They hate us for not being us too.

Realising envy is a core part of agp was a key point in me dropping out of supporting medical transition.

[–] Carthimundia [OP] 36 points (+36|-0)

On my uni online message board, one TIM stated that he had newly transitioned and vacillated between hating women he saw on the street with wanting to fuck them and be them. I also think ironically the more women give in to their demands and just roll over without a fight this increases the contempt they feel.

[–] KBash 30 points (+30|-0)

IMO, envy is a core part of misogyny overall, which is why so much MRA/TRA overlap, and why these guys are some of the most sexist around.

[–] La 24 points (+24|-0)

Absolutely agree. They also hate us the way other men can hate women while claiming to love women. Many men want to own us. These men just found a new liberal leftist woke way to own us, possess us, control us, abuse us.

It’s just this new version of abuse that claims to be love, of how men treat women. They love the idea of womanhood that they themselves created and hate women. It’s misogyny. With a five o’clock shadow and a dress.

[–] XX_Power 15 points (+15|-0)

Exactly! AGP TIMs (which are now like 95% of TIMs) have this visceral hatred for women, this deep seated jealousy. In my experience they feel like women live life in easy mode, everything is perfect and handed to us, everyone loves us and looks up to us.

Most of what they "know" about women comes from porn and from what other men say about us, think red pill etc. Then when their sexy pillow fights and lesbian gang bangs don't actually happen, they think it's because us mean evil women just won't let them inside our circles.

Basically it's a man learning everything he knows about women from men, only talks to other men (TIMs) and is them confused when their bad woman cosplay meets reality.

[–] notyourfetish 3 points (+3|-0)

Realising envy is a core part of agp was

I think it's just a core part of being male in general. They are hateful and envious to the extreme, and unfortunately, they can act out that hate against us easily with their strength and size. If we were the stronger ones, there would be nothing they could do except sulk like the giant children they are. Nature is so cruel.

[–] IrishTheFrenchie 43 points (+43|-0)

He then complains that the lesbian community constantly subjects him to micro aggressions by making jokes about dick, or by saying that men are trash and dissing their dicks

But, I thought you were a woman, Mr. Precious-Cock??? So why would you care if your fellow women are dissing men?

[–] Proserpina 35 points (+35|-0)

Women have been capitulating to him from the moment he was born. Now he's demanding to be validated by lesbians, and being told no hurts his precious feelings. That's probably where 90% of the TIM aggression towards lesbians comes from; they're mad at being denied something they feel entitled to, because they're men and they know it. They openly express feeling superior to and more feminine than actual female lesbians so I mean that should shatter any illusion people have that they actually believe what they're saying. Also that they even came up with the term "cotton ceiling", which is revolting and has some pretty disturbing implications.

[–] tymps 43 points (+43|-0) Edited

It never fails to astound me just how many of these men think that because they enjoyed "lesbian" porn or some super male-gazey "lesbian" scene in a movie, it's some sort of ~validation~ that they're actually "lesbians." Plenty of regular straight men enjoy that stuff too -- these pieces of media are made with straight men in mind, for crying out loud.

Also, I "love" how he can seek out penis-free content but we actual lesbians aren't allowed to, according to his unhinged rant.

[–] IrishTheFrenchie 26 points (+26|-0)

Also, I "love" how he can seek out penis-free content but we actual lesbians aren't allowed to, according to his unhinged rant.

Brilliant observation.

[–] Stealthygal 16 points (+16|-0)

Interestingly, more than one lesbian I know has told me that TV, movies and porn are absolutely shit at depicting actual lesbian sex.

[–] notyourfetish 0 points (+0|-0)

This just made me realize that I've never seen a movie or TV show that got it right (most rarely attempt it in the first place).

[–] La 16 points (+16|-0)

Because how dare you, a woman, be content without c@ck? That’s for dudes like him.

[–] estina 19 points (+19|-0)

I can’t stop thinking about the fact that he thinks masturbating into the toilet makes him a woman??? I have never asked my male partners about the logistics of their solo masturbation but if they indicated using a toilet I’d probably think “huh, seems practical enough.” This guy is a lunatic and probably pornsick if he thinks the destination of his jizz has some special meaning.

This guy is a lunatic and probably pornsick if he thinks the destination of his jizz has some special meaning

Pretty much a given with or without jizz in toilet, which, IMO, is super bizarre. I've never polled men about where they masturbate, but I'd guess shower, tissue, own hand, or just let it fly and clean up later would be the top answers.

Toilet... guessing if you asked most men if they masturbate into the toilet they'd give you a look like this--- 🤨

[–] estina 7 points (+7|-0)

yeah I mean to be fair I would probably find it odd, but not out of the realm of normal quirks people might have. maybe as a teen he got into that habit for some reason. people have all kinds of quirks when it comes to personal sexual habits... none of that shit makes you a woman (I am quite sure you and I agree on this).

and the thing that's way more odd about it is his need to tell us about it as if it proves anything.

[–] Tyro 5 points (+5|-0)

If they're in the bathroom anyway then it sounds logical, except they struggle even to piss in a toilet with an erection (the angle's all wrong) so I'm not sure how easy it would actually be.

Dammit, I'm going to have to find one and ask now. Curse this curious mind!

[–] Nasrin 14 points (+14|-0)

Why because he always came in the toilet, of course!

The entire article is so deluded:

There’s just… something… missing. Wonder what that could be.

It's not missing things, it's the added penis.

[–] IrishTheFrenchie 39 points (+39|-0)

My first girlfriend and I mostly had what straight people call foreplay and I’d call one-sided lesbian sex. We’d make out and grind against each other and then I’d go down on her until she came. The end was mere obligation — I’d put my penis inside her to quickly release my desire while dissociating away from the moment itself.

Riiiiiiight, Sure you did.

[–] fizzygiglet 32 points (+32|-0)

I’m so glad you mentioned this bit, because I found it truly bizarre. First of all, why do tims always retroactively reframe their past sexual histories as ‘lesbian’? Reminds me of a ‘trans lesbian’ I knew in university.

But anyway. The funny thing about this specific tim’s revisionism is that the ‘one-sided lesbian sex’ he describes is quite obviously mutual heterosexual sex. Among straight men who aren’t selfish chauvinist pigs, it is absolutely standard for the man to get the lady off first and then attend to his orgasm. Taking turns doesn’t make it ‘one-sided’. The only way you could possibly see it that way is if you think having to pleasure your girlfriend somehow takes away from your own pleasure—that meeting her needs comes at your expense. But as the saying goes: ‘When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.’

[–] La 22 points (+22|-0)

In what world do straight people call this foreplay?

He’s such trash that he considers sex that ends in PIV but isn’t focused on it to be foreplay.

And he thinks that that’s what straight people think. Prob because he doesn’t consider straight women people.

[–] Tyro 2 points (+3|-1)

I have extensive bedroom experience with an AGP and the description does actually check out.

Difference is he didn't call it lesbian sex, and he didn't call it foreplay, he called it... having sex.

It's a shame the creepy obnoxious fuckers ruin the debate there, because it means we end up not collectively acknowledging that men are taught by other men that women like a lot of penetration, and so they feel obliged to do it, and some of them are actually quite relieved to learn it's not an essential part of the performance for women.

It also means we don't acknowledge how the focus on the male orgasm as the endpoint ends up screwing things for both parties. There are actually men out there who elevate the woman's orgasm over their own, but society tells them this is unmanly; and this interacts with women having absorbed the idea that the male orgasm is the endpoint and so feeling like failures at sex if it doesn't occur.

[–] KBash 25 points (+25|-0)

The detail about coming in the toilet is something which would have tugged at my heartstrings in the past, but in this essay, it comes across as just so manipulative.

He has a condition which makes him hate and dissociate from his junk. That’s sad. It’s not caused by society. It’s not equivalent to terrible things women go through which are caused by society. His not being accepted as a woman is no worse than me not being accepted as a supermodel after gaining weight due to my thyroid disorder.

This guy doesn’t seem like he has any real problems, just the ones he’s created for himself.

And that, in a nutshell, is the entire problem with the trans movement. If you go around forcing your identity and ideology on others, you’re creating your own problems, and calling that oppression.

[–] shewolfoffrance 6 points (+6|-0)

Yes. He's undoubtedly in distress. But indulging him won't make him better and it's not women's problem.

[–] Stealthygal 12 points (+12|-0)

And also? Why do people think porn is compulsory while masturbating now?

[–] BlackCirce 1 points (+1|-0)

You would think nobody masturbated before the invention of the camera

[–] Stealthygal 11 points (+12|-1)

Comment from an old boyfriend of mine: All straight men are into the lesbian thing.

What is sexier for them than watching two ladies without some dude's penis distracting them into "GAH! NO HOMO!" mode? As a straight woman I have enjoyed gay male porn for the reverse reason, but also because there isn't that same creepy power imbalance.

Load more (2 comments)
[–] ditchwitch 51 points (+51|-0)

"...my loyalties do not lie with some cis woman and my desire to get laid. I will always care more about trans women..."

That's so great bro, how bout y'all go hang out with each other & leave homosexual female lesbians alone then? It'll be so easy you will receive literally 0 pushback I promise go for it. Throw the best trans-only party go nuts I support you 100%.

[–] BlackCirce 40 points (+40|-0)

Kudos to you OP for reading that shit. I made a decision to no longer read what autogynephiles are writing about their penises. I am bisexual too and I miss the old days of AutoStraddle when it was about lesbians and lesbian life.

Love this weird quote

I am tired of educating people on the most basic principles of biology.

The most basic principles of biology? Is he talking about cell structure and replication? Or taxonomy? Mendelian inheritance? I want to know badly what basic principles of biology he has to teach people on first dates!

He starts with a couple of paragraphs talking about his cock. Seriously, why do men love talking about their dicks so much?

Because that’s ALL THEY HAVE.

Anyways OP go off on these clowns

[–] Carthimundia [OP] 19 points (+19|-0)

The funny thing is I found the article entirely by accident when one of my flatmates said it's "surely not true'"that TIMS are making demands of lesbians. They have certainly had their eyes open with this article! And I hear you about the good old days. I feel kinda cheated because I was very uncertain and hesitant with my bisexuality when I was young, and got a lot out of magazines like Diva and sites like Autostraddle. Now I feel there is no bi woman community at all.

[–] Lorena_wood 39 points (+39|-0)

I wouldn’t date most of you anyway

He screams right here that his own boundaries should be respected. He gets to choose who he wants to date. But not the cis who will never be good enough anyway. Acceptance is not enough, only complete surrender to whatever he wants.

[–] Carthimundia [OP] 34 points (+34|-0)

Exactly. My old therapist had a word for these people - they are king babies. They haven't moved past the stage of development where they were the absolute centre of the universe and their caregiver attended to their every needs. This is why he feels the pathological need to control even what women think in his presence. For him, his desires and preferences are natural and need no justification. Of course he can say "you aren't good enough for me, I wouldn't date you", but if a woman politely informs him that she would never consider fucking him suddenly she has to 'relearn her genital preferences' and 'deprogram' her negative associations with dick.

[–] notyourfetish 2 points (+2|-0)

They haven't moved past the stage of development where they were the absolute centre of the universe and their caregiver attended to their every needs

Aka a text book narcissist. I'm convinced they have a personality disorder. They just check way too many boxes.

[–] suupersami 34 points (+34|-0)

The most frequent microaggressions I experience involve AFAB people talking about how they don’t like dicks. Or how they don’t like men and expressing that by referencing dicks. ..... I get it. It’s easier to talk about “dicks” than it is to talk about patriarchy.

You don't "get it". You are part of the patriarchy.

[–] spinningintelllect 32 points (+32|-0)

Why can't they just date each other? Even they don't believe they're women, they just want to rape lesbians.

[–] viragoeternal 5 points (+5|-0)

that's what I was thinking - he could just date other transwomen, if a lesbian relationship is so important to him and the real ones won't give him the time of day.

we all know why he won't.

[–] Tyro 3 points (+3|-0)

Some of them have dick fetishes, practically all of them have vagina fetishes, none of them actually fancy men.

They'd happily service a macho man's dick but that's as far as their interest in other men goes.

[–] Medusa 30 points (+30|-0)

"I would never fuck any of you because you're beneath me but I'm going to write a 1800 word essay about how awesome my dick is and how oppressive it is that none of you want to fuck it."

Sure, John.

Excellent rant. Excellent. So many great parts! (I just read yours. I can't stomach reading his "paean to his peen" -- dying laughing!!!)

Actual question here:

I had a friend who never spoke to me again because I refused to concede that TWAW. The very next day, after professing to be a true believer, she posted a joke about how 'the best thing about lesbian sex is you can't get pregnant."

If grown men take artificial hormones, does it sterilize them the way I keep reading it will with children? I'd be afraid adult males on HRT would produce babies with severe birth defects.

I wish your friend had written "the best thing about lesbian sex is there's no penis!" And I'm so sorry she cut you off as a Suppressive Person on behalf of a Men's Sexual Fetish Cult. When straight women do it, I think "well, many of them also think Only Fans is empowering. They're all about centering men." But when a lesbian does it --- it's jaw-dropping.

[–] IrishTheFrenchie 25 points (+25|-0)

I read it. It's beyond gross and fetishy.

He keeps explaining how his genitals were never that important to him, then keeps going back to wax poetic about his dick.

[–] llkit 22 points (+22|-0)

Classic fetish behaviour. Like the dudes into chastity. It's all I hate my penis, yet caging it draws attention to it. They can also never stop talking about it when caged. It's boring as hell.

[–] Carthimundia [OP] 15 points (+16|-1)

The good news is she's not actually a lesbian - she identifies as 'queer' but refuses to date women! I have no idea if it sterilises them. I think if they go off the hormones for a while they can definitely reproduce again.

[–] NewMa 5 points (+5|-0)

When the fiction novel "Detransition Baby" came out the fertility of TiMs was a hot topic. With the right drugs, vitamins and supplements, fertility returns to intact TiMs who started estrogen in their adulthoods. Unknown about other drug cocktails (some are on spiro, some on progesterone, etc, etc).

[–] crispycherrypie 29 points (+29|-0)

These men don’t seem to get that being misogynistic psychopaths is a turnoff for women.

Seriously even if I wasn’t gay and he wasn’t pretending he’s a lesbian I’d have noticed the 50 different red flags telling me he’s likely to murder me for saying I don’t drink a lot of soda.

[–] goatsauce 26 points (+26|-0)

An Autostraddle event is what peaked me! It felt like I was joining a cult. Most of the women at the event were bisexuals with long term male partners who all said they were given permission to "experiment" with a woman and I just noped the fuck home. The only other people were very dudely looking trans women (and one extreeeemely homosexual trans woman). It felt like traveling into another dimension. I hope this dude writes twenty more articles about his stupid dick so more and more lesbians give up trying to do the "internal work" and just accept that this whole ass man is waving his whole ass man finger at them because they won't fuck him like they REALLY MEAN IT. He wants us to take off the fake niceties, and the thing is, the fake niceties are the last pillar that holds up his false woman suit persona.

Which future you want, Drew? Your choices are 1) every woman tells you to your face that she knows you're a man and treats you as such in her mind or 2) every woman continues to boldly lie to you but you get to be pissy and unsettled about it.

[–] Carthimundia [OP] 19 points (+19|-0)

According to his profile he's written 65 articles for Autostraddle this year. 65! Wow, that event sounds grim. "He wants us to take off the fake niceties, and the thing is, the fake niceties are the last pillar that holds up his false woman suit persona." You hit the nail on the head. He seems to be under the impression that its a sane and achievable thing for women to just...change their beliefs about men. It's like trying to make an atheist really believe in God...it's not going to happen. Drew has to just accept that women are going to put on a facade for him in order to be performatively polite. It's as good as it's gonna get.

[–] notyourfetish 5 points (+5|-0)

for women to just...change their beliefs about men.

Our beliefs about men are grounded in reality.

TIMs live constantly in their delusions.

[–] Foxglove 18 points (+18|-0)

Autostraddle peaked me too. About a year and a half ago they had another article about "lesbians" with dicks and a bunch of us pointed out that lesbians are homosexual, not homogendered and we were all called terfs and our comments deleted by Heather hogan. From then on I don't waste my time on autostraddle anymore.

[–] goatsauce 3 points (+3|-0)

It's because Heather knows that she'll be harassed within an inch of her life if she's not paying proper homage to the men she's surrounded by on all sides. I'm still part of one of the Autostraddle private Facebook groups, and a giant "two-spirit" straight man was creating a huge dust up last year because the 2019 A-Camp wasn't pandering to him in one way or another well enough. I think their plan was to completely reform the board in direct result of how all the mean ol' lesbians on the board weren't doing their jobs well enough. (Which I guess, if you're paying $700+ to go to an adult camp, you get to yell extra loud about being accommodated.) Then, some prior year, they had Cameron Esposito as a guest, and her comedy set focused too heavily on lesbian jokes about vaginas or something, and that created a huge thing. It's an entire group of histrionic weirdos trapped in hell together, basically.

[–] Foxglove 1 points (+1|-0)

It sounds like a hell-hole, but they shouldn't have let trans people become part of a lesbian website to start of with. Throwing lesbians under the buss to appease males is unforgivable in my opinion. They should hand in their lesbian cards because it is disgraceful what they have done.

[–] BlackCirce 10 points (+10|-0)

Most of the women at the event were bisexuals with long term male partners who all said they were given permission to "experiment" with a woman

I’m so sorry. That is awful and disrespectful.

[–] notyourfetish 4 points (+5|-1)

Most of the women at the event were bisexuals with long term male partners who all said they were given permission to "experiment" with a woman

Ugh. These women are the absolute worst. They think lesbians are sex toys for them to play with, rather than people with feelings worthy of respect and an actual fucking relationship.

Like, if you really want to be with a woman, then take it seriously. Leave your fucking husband/boyfriend and find a woman to actually date. We're not here to be your playthings!!! And it's amazing how many of them don't see how homophobic it is to expect a lesbian (or yes another bisexual woman) to sign up to be their side piece while they continue with their husband (the relationship they take seriously).

It wouldn't be so annoying if I didn't have to swipe through fifty married bisexual women looking to "experiment" on every single dating app. This in-between the TIMs and straight men who check themselves off as "women."

And so many bisexual women keep the man a secret or try to push for a threesome. But of course, lesbians are "bigots" if we decide we don't want to date bisexuals.

Sorry. I'm just really tired of how lesbians are treated. It's like we just exist to be everyone's sex toy. I'm so tired of this sexist world we live in.

[–] boredfemme 4 points (+4|-0)

We really do get “you have to like dick!” from all sides, its gross. But then they’ll be confused on why we only feel comfortable around other lesbians..

[–] goatsauce 3 points (+3|-0)

Yeah, if we're even allowed to be around other lesbians. I feel like my completely uncontroversial sexuality of only wanting to love and be attracted to actual female women is causing me to have to go underground like a shady asshole instead of being able to just...live my life.

[–] goatsauce 1 points (+1|-0)

Yeah, it was very frustrating! I don't know if it's Autostraddle's culture or what, because it's obviously not all bisexual women who are like this. I have bisexual female friends who date like normal, one person at a time, and are primarily interested in women or at least take dating women just as seriously as dating men. This weird "sex positive" culture promotes this idea that you can just have a lady on the side of your otherwise-heterosexual relationship and that it's totally fine, but lesbians and single bisexual women get pushback for wanting actual commitment and to be taken seriously. As my straight female friend pointed out, if these women were on the prowl to add another man to the relationship, it wouldn't fly, because their male partners would take that as a legitimate threat.

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