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My autocorrect doesn’t even offer the word matriarchy.

I’m still mad about that stupid “Cooking with Trans Women of Color,” mostly about the Colombian dish that stated families ate it under “matriarchal leadership.” In other words Mom telling everyone that dinner is ready.

Every culture in the world has mothers that tell you to sit down and eat your damn spaghetti. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.

This is a common pattern I see with woke people. They claim most other cultures are matriarchal. They claim their own are, or their families are.

I don’t care if Mom is head of the household. That’s not matriarchy. Note that it begins and ends with the family. The “leadership” evaporates when it comes to courts, government, means of production, and spirituality. They are few and far between, the higher up you go.

If Colombia were a matriarchy it wouldn’t have a high femicide rate. Or rape.

Stop humble-bragging that your single mom made all the decisions. She had to do all the work because men usually don’t think they have to pitch in. And her power diminishes every step she takes further from the house.

Patriarchy covers the planet. There are degrees of it but it’s everywhere. It’s atrocity denial to say that all other cultures are matriarchal Smurf villages. You are denying what women the world over go through. You are sugarcoating the overwhelming dominance of patriarchy.

My autocorrect doesn’t even offer the word matriarchy. I’m still mad about that stupid “Cooking with Trans Women of Color,” mostly about the Colombian dish that stated families ate it under “matriarchal leadership.” In other words Mom telling everyone that dinner is ready. Every culture in the world has mothers that tell you to sit down and eat your damn spaghetti. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining. This is a common pattern I see with woke people. They claim most other cultures are matriarchal. They claim their own are, or their families are. I don’t care if Mom is head of the household. That’s not matriarchy. Note that it begins and ends with the family. The “leadership” evaporates when it comes to courts, government, means of production, and spirituality. They are few and far between, the higher up you go. If Colombia were a matriarchy it wouldn’t have a high femicide rate. Or rape. Stop humble-bragging that your single mom made all the decisions. She had to do all the work because men usually don’t think they have to pitch in. And her power diminishes every step she takes further from the house. Patriarchy covers the planet. There are degrees of it but it’s everywhere. It’s atrocity denial to say that all other cultures are matriarchal Smurf villages. You are denying what women the world over go through. You are sugarcoating the overwhelming dominance of patriarchy.

57 comments

[–] ramani 68 points (+69|-1)

You’re absolutely right. I’m an immigrant from a country where my tribal group actually did afford legal rights to women (inheritance of property, for example) when the rest of the country did not, and the women in my family were very strong-willed and resourceful. BUT ... that did not mean they had actual power, or even much agency in their lives. My great-great grandmother was married off right after her first period - she was just a young child!! The husband was a grown man. And another relative was raped and impregnated by one of her in-laws, and forced to both give birth to and give away the baby. I can go on and on. Tragic doesn’t even begin to describe it.

“Woke” people just make up histories of nations and cultures of which they really know nothing, even if they have ancestral connections to them. I’ve seen this in my own cultural group. It’s bizarre and ridiculous. But, like most indulged young people, they think they know everything. And they create some mythological “monster” - Colonialism, for example - before which they theorize everything was wonderful and equal between the different groups of people, and of course there were no binary sex categories and distinctions, etc., etc.

Sometimes I honestly wonder whether it’s because a lot of these people live too much online, and this has distorted their sense of what real life is, especially for women in poor countries in the global south. I’ve lived in both kinds of societies, and the sheer cluelessness of “woke” people is unbelievable.

[–] littleowl12 [OP] 16 points (+18|-2)

It's such a great way for men to absolve themselves of any responsibility to try to do better. They'll take this one sliver of benefit of colonization- they can blame someone else for their own misogyny. "I'd be so much better if I weren't kept down by white men." You'd be richer and happier for sure, but why can't you treat the women in your life decently right fucking now? If you really value your quest for liberation, don't you have empathy for your mother, daughters, sisters, and lovers who want liberation, too?

[–] ramani 11 points (+13|-2)

This whole “colonialism” thing is just bewildering to me, because in my culture the British Empire came to an end even before my mother was born (and I’m a middle-aged woman, so it was loooong ago)! How a long ago empire still apparently dictates life in South Asia makes absolutely no sense to me on a personal level, and even less sense if you actually study colonial-era history, as I did in college. Hell, I can give quite a few examples of how my family (and quite a few others) benefitted from colonial rule, but you can’t say anything about that because it goes against what the Wokearati deem to be Correct. It’s totally inaccurate, ahistorical and intellectually bankrupt.

NOT to defend colonialism in any way, but countries conquering other countries is a tragic fact of human history from the very beginning of the historical record. We have to move on, somehow, instead of constantly complaining about how every single issue in our lives is due to “colonialism”.