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My autocorrect doesn’t even offer the word matriarchy.

I’m still mad about that stupid “Cooking with Trans Women of Color,” mostly about the Colombian dish that stated families ate it under “matriarchal leadership.” In other words Mom telling everyone that dinner is ready.

Every culture in the world has mothers that tell you to sit down and eat your damn spaghetti. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.

This is a common pattern I see with woke people. They claim most other cultures are matriarchal. They claim their own are, or their families are.

I don’t care if Mom is head of the household. That’s not matriarchy. Note that it begins and ends with the family. The “leadership” evaporates when it comes to courts, government, means of production, and spirituality. They are few and far between, the higher up you go.

If Colombia were a matriarchy it wouldn’t have a high femicide rate. Or rape.

Stop humble-bragging that your single mom made all the decisions. She had to do all the work because men usually don’t think they have to pitch in. And her power diminishes every step she takes further from the house.

Patriarchy covers the planet. There are degrees of it but it’s everywhere. It’s atrocity denial to say that all other cultures are matriarchal Smurf villages. You are denying what women the world over go through. You are sugarcoating the overwhelming dominance of patriarchy.

My autocorrect doesn’t even offer the word matriarchy. I’m still mad about that stupid “Cooking with Trans Women of Color,” mostly about the Colombian dish that stated families ate it under “matriarchal leadership.” In other words Mom telling everyone that dinner is ready. Every culture in the world has mothers that tell you to sit down and eat your damn spaghetti. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining. This is a common pattern I see with woke people. They claim most other cultures are matriarchal. They claim their own are, or their families are. I don’t care if Mom is head of the household. That’s not matriarchy. Note that it begins and ends with the family. The “leadership” evaporates when it comes to courts, government, means of production, and spirituality. They are few and far between, the higher up you go. If Colombia were a matriarchy it wouldn’t have a high femicide rate. Or rape. Stop humble-bragging that your single mom made all the decisions. She had to do all the work because men usually don’t think they have to pitch in. And her power diminishes every step she takes further from the house. Patriarchy covers the planet. There are degrees of it but it’s everywhere. It’s atrocity denial to say that all other cultures are matriarchal Smurf villages. You are denying what women the world over go through. You are sugarcoating the overwhelming dominance of patriarchy.

57 comments

[–] ramani 68 points (+69|-1)

You’re absolutely right. I’m an immigrant from a country where my tribal group actually did afford legal rights to women (inheritance of property, for example) when the rest of the country did not, and the women in my family were very strong-willed and resourceful. BUT ... that did not mean they had actual power, or even much agency in their lives. My great-great grandmother was married off right after her first period - she was just a young child!! The husband was a grown man. And another relative was raped and impregnated by one of her in-laws, and forced to both give birth to and give away the baby. I can go on and on. Tragic doesn’t even begin to describe it.

“Woke” people just make up histories of nations and cultures of which they really know nothing, even if they have ancestral connections to them. I’ve seen this in my own cultural group. It’s bizarre and ridiculous. But, like most indulged young people, they think they know everything. And they create some mythological “monster” - Colonialism, for example - before which they theorize everything was wonderful and equal between the different groups of people, and of course there were no binary sex categories and distinctions, etc., etc.

Sometimes I honestly wonder whether it’s because a lot of these people live too much online, and this has distorted their sense of what real life is, especially for women in poor countries in the global south. I’ve lived in both kinds of societies, and the sheer cluelessness of “woke” people is unbelievable.

[–] LadyGlum 18 points (+18|-0)

It is because they live too much online. They're also always very ignorant and not willing to go look outside twitter or tumblr for answers. They can often be kind people but all the TRAs of my acquaintance have dysfunctional friendships, dysfunctional families and turn online. Crucially the part that seems to turn them into TRAs is a lack of curiosity. They're not stupid, but they won't seek out information and decide for themselves. They want to be presented with a set of beliefs they can follow uncritically, though they might pretend otherwise. They really don't like to be asked questions about it because they can't actually answer them. When I see the irate IRAs (not the actual trans) arguing online I often think about my friends and imagine them sitting typing the comments. They want to be nice. They want community. They want to release some of their bitterness and tension. They want to think of themselves as good people. And they're not. They'll spout lies to protect those they are told are the most vulnerable but when actually vulnerable people come along and ask for their help they don't know what to do because real life doesn't happen in slogans and it comes with difficult decisions. Ultimately they just want to do as little as possible to improve the world but also don't want to deal with the guilt of sitting there. So slinging woke-approved statements on twitter is just perfect for them. One of their 123 followers (mostly porn bots) might see that they said black lives matter! They can make a difference!

[–] Owlchaser 5 points (+5|-0)

Really well worded comment :\ I don't get why people can't accept that they aren't perfect. It's difficult at first, to take a blow to your ego, but it makes you feel better about life in the long term.

They want to be presented with a set of beliefs they can follow uncritically

With religion losing popularity at an amazing rate in the west, this isn't surprising. These are the exact same people who would've blindly followed whatever faith they were born into 70 years ago, and relished in looking down on anyone outside the norm.