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My autocorrect doesn’t even offer the word matriarchy.

I’m still mad about that stupid “Cooking with Trans Women of Color,” mostly about the Colombian dish that stated families ate it under “matriarchal leadership.” In other words Mom telling everyone that dinner is ready.

Every culture in the world has mothers that tell you to sit down and eat your damn spaghetti. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.

This is a common pattern I see with woke people. They claim most other cultures are matriarchal. They claim their own are, or their families are.

I don’t care if Mom is head of the household. That’s not matriarchy. Note that it begins and ends with the family. The “leadership” evaporates when it comes to courts, government, means of production, and spirituality. They are few and far between, the higher up you go.

If Colombia were a matriarchy it wouldn’t have a high femicide rate. Or rape.

Stop humble-bragging that your single mom made all the decisions. She had to do all the work because men usually don’t think they have to pitch in. And her power diminishes every step she takes further from the house.

Patriarchy covers the planet. There are degrees of it but it’s everywhere. It’s atrocity denial to say that all other cultures are matriarchal Smurf villages. You are denying what women the world over go through. You are sugarcoating the overwhelming dominance of patriarchy.

My autocorrect doesn’t even offer the word matriarchy. I’m still mad about that stupid “Cooking with Trans Women of Color,” mostly about the Colombian dish that stated families ate it under “matriarchal leadership.” In other words Mom telling everyone that dinner is ready. Every culture in the world has mothers that tell you to sit down and eat your damn spaghetti. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining. This is a common pattern I see with woke people. They claim most other cultures are matriarchal. They claim their own are, or their families are. I don’t care if Mom is head of the household. That’s not matriarchy. Note that it begins and ends with the family. The “leadership” evaporates when it comes to courts, government, means of production, and spirituality. They are few and far between, the higher up you go. If Colombia were a matriarchy it wouldn’t have a high femicide rate. Or rape. Stop humble-bragging that your single mom made all the decisions. She had to do all the work because men usually don’t think they have to pitch in. And her power diminishes every step she takes further from the house. Patriarchy covers the planet. There are degrees of it but it’s everywhere. It’s atrocity denial to say that all other cultures are matriarchal Smurf villages. You are denying what women the world over go through. You are sugarcoating the overwhelming dominance of patriarchy.

57 comments

[–] Amareldys 3 points (+3|-0)

Single moms in a patriarchy are generally not an example of a matriarchy, they are an example of a failed patriarchal unit. Most of those women wanted the guy to stick around and be a kind, helpful person.

Seriously. My mom is in charge when it comes to her home and when she was raising my brother and me. But she was forced to do that because my dad made good money and traveled a lot for his job. He wasn’t home to be involved in house the house was run.

And Queen Elizabeth? She’s ruled for decades and has had plenty of opportunity to build a matriarchy, but the UK is still very much the patriarchy it’s always been.

[–] BluecatSarah 5 points (+5|-0)

She reigns because her Dad reigned and fathered no sons. If she’d had a younger brother she would have been set aside.

[–] Stealthygal 1 points (+1|-0)

She also has no actual power. None of them do, really, they've been figureheads for a long time

[–] BluecatSarah 1 points (+1|-0)

I don’t know how much power she has. Lots of wealth, little scrutiny; that’s also power, I guess. My point is, her being there is not a sign we live in a matriarchy. All the power she has derives from her relationship to men.

[–] A_Matriarch 17 points (+17|-0) Edited

As a black woman, it burns me up to hear black people say this goofy shit about the black community. They need to tell me HOW black women - who were also slaves and- under double domination of both white men and black men somehow up and erected themselves a whole matriarchal order where rule of law, economics, property, and marriage is decided by women. They think a bunch of poor single mothers being propped up on white men’s meager food stamps after their baby daddys abandon them is a MATRIARCHY!!! It makes me DIZZY as fuck!
The women are the ones holding down the fort because they have no choice! NOT because BW have come together - like they should - and decide that the entirety of cultural and social dynamics will revolve around woman leaders and woman centered priorities. It’s the exact opposite in the black community and they know it!!! The community is the most male identified, male coddling, fuck shit imaginable. They accuse it of being matriarchy purely to blame black women for the shambles the community is in, never to actually honor or dignify female leadership.

YES! I've seen so many people point to the black community to say "see? Matriarchy doesn't work." No, the black community has patriarchy like everybody else! And any problems in the community are not because of feminism of any sort. Conservatives have this strange notion that feminism has "destroyed the black family."

Where? At what point? "When they said men were unnecessary!!!" No, feminism has never been about that. We HAVE said that you're better off with no man than with a toxic man, so don't keep sacrificing yourself for a toxic man. If men don't like it, they can stop being toxic and abusive. And honestly, conservatives, do you disagree? Do you think a woman is better off with a toxic abuser than as a single woman?

The black community is not feminist, and not matriarchal. They look just like the rest of the world in that respect.

[–] A_Matriarch 4 points (+4|-0)

Exactly, in my black woman centered groups we call our community “blackistan” for a REASON! Ain’t no matriarchy here....

[–] IronicWolf 14 points (+14|-0)

Men abandoning their responsibilities and families does not a matriarchy make. In fact, it’s patriarchy: men get to do what they like, create children they later abandon, make promises to women that they break and then leave women to pick up the pieces and raise the children.

[–] littleowl12 [OP] 21 points (+22|-1)

And no offense to anyone, but often what a Woke person is describing as unique and magical is actually standard worldwide. Spicy food? Everyone in the Southern hemisphere has that blessing. Women spinning fiber and weaving? From the tail end of South America to the Arctic circle. Religious ceremonies? Show me a culture that does NOT have that. Don't get me wrong, these are all lovely things. And we should study them to see how much we have in common, and how to overcome differences. But none of it is magical. It's all very common, with patriarchy being most common of all. It's not dependent on local natural resources. Men everywhere love it.

And even in a truly egalitarian society, that's not matriarchal by definition. It's egalitarian. If that's how you believe the world should be, that's fine, but then, use the word egalitarian.

Stop confusing women's work (textiles, cooking, home keeping, clerical work, midwifery, etc) with liberation. Work is not liberation- it's just work.

[–] Jellyfishes 16 points (+16|-0)

And being the head of household is not that much of a privilege for women, since it means having to take care of all the cleaning, child rearing and housechores. All of it for free.

[–] zuubat 8 points (+8|-0) Edited

Reminds me of women who insert the phrase “in our society” after every reference to some sexist practice.

Said society is inevitably one in which women are afforded greater rights and protections than in most of the world’s other societies.

[–] overandout 16 points (+16|-0)

People confusing the family being female dominated with the whole society. Some western cultures ARE the odd ones out with fathers being so central to daily family life in terms of decision making but that doesn't make the overall society matriarchal.

[–] questioningtw 20 points (+20|-0)

Uh. I am taking a Spanish class, and the teacher talks a lot about cultures in Mexico and S. America. They have some of the most chauvanistic and machismo cultures in the world. She even played a song once where women were singing a story about a man who murdered his girlfriend in public for dancing with antother man. It turned out that she was only dancing with her brother, but she totally forgives him before she died. And apparently you are supposed to feel sorry for him because he was in jail for murdering "his love"

[+] [Deleted] 8 points (+8|-0)
[–] KBash 5 points (+6|-1) Edited

Interestingly, the chauvinism and machismo come from the Spanish, and for them it comes from the Moorish (even pre-Islam, many North African and Middle Eastern tribes were notoriously patriarchal...they just overlaid their patriarchy onto Islam and justified it through cherry-picked Islamic law after Islam was introduced). The Moors conquered Spain and controlled the Iberian peninsula for a while (I know they were actually surprisingly secular and fairly egalitarian and enlightened in their approach to rule- but not toward women, of course; they were just happy to allow Jews and Gentiles to practice their own forms of Abrahamic religion as well).

They were/are notoriously patriarchal, and that’s where Spanish, Mediterranean and Latin American machismo come from.

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