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Hello all. I just wanted to express my appreciation for this community and for you nasty TERF witches who I love so much.

I was a longtime lurker of r/GenderCritical while at the same time participating in a lot of "leftist" Facebook groups and discourse. I was the type of person who would join the "fuck TERFS" rallying cries, and let people know that their language was not "gender inclusive". I was the type to apologize for talking about my own female anatomy, I was happily silenced into submission by transwomen. I was always happy to accept trans women as women...but deep down it never felt true to my experience as a woman or to my beliefs.

There would be days where I would get tired of having my female spaces on the internet commandeered by transwomen. I started getting tired of not being able to talk about patriarchal ideas about sex without constantly getting reminded that "SOME MEN HAVE VAGINAS". I started getting irritated when real women in these groups making jokes about penises (many of them having been on the abusive end of someone's penis in their lifetime) were being told that "WOMEN CAN HAVE DICKS TOO, YOU CAN'T MAKE FUN OF DICKS". I started to feel indignant about cushioning transwomen's feelings when I had never seen a transwoman stick up for me, for MY bodily autonomy, defend ME against jokes where "stinky vaginas" were the punchline.

The more I got squeezed out of these female safe spaces by transwomen who policed how I spoke about my experiences as a woman, who called me transphobic for acknowledging that trans and cis women have different oppressive experiences (some trans-based, some sex-based), the more I started looking at r/GenderCritical. It became my space to de-stress, to regain my sanity, to validate those tiny inklings of "this can't be right" that I had choked down for so long in order to defend transwomen. Then one day I went to GenderCritical and it was banned. That peaked me.

The idea that women can't have sex-segregated spaces, the idea that trans women can simultaneously benefit from the patriarchy and then turn around and CENTER themselves in feminist discourse, the idea that I was NERVOUS to talk about my own experiences as a REAL woman to all the men in dresses in my Facebook groups hiding behind anime profile pictures, the idea that ANY image of a vulva or uterus or Venus symbol was exclusionary and that it was not ok to celebrate cis womanhood but it WAS ok to celebrate a transwoman's charicature of womanhood...it all became too much for me.

Once I found this community again I felt so validated, I no longer feel policed, I feel like my lived experiences as a woman are important. I have consumed all of the content that's been posted here in a matter of days. It's the most refreshed I have felt in a long time. I'm a proud TERF. I'm never letting a man make me question my womanhood ever again.

Hello all. I just wanted to express my appreciation for this community and for you nasty TERF witches who I love so much. I was a longtime lurker of r/GenderCritical while at the same time participating in a lot of "leftist" Facebook groups and discourse. I was the type of person who would join the "fuck TERFS" rallying cries, and let people know that their language was not "gender inclusive". I was the type to apologize for talking about my own female anatomy, I was happily silenced into submission by transwomen. I was always happy to accept trans women as women...but deep down it never felt true to my experience as a woman or to my beliefs. There would be days where I would get tired of having my female spaces on the internet commandeered by transwomen. I started getting tired of not being able to talk about patriarchal ideas about sex without constantly getting reminded that "SOME MEN HAVE VAGINAS". I started getting irritated when real women in these groups making jokes about penises (many of them having been on the abusive end of someone's penis in their lifetime) were being told that "WOMEN CAN HAVE DICKS TOO, YOU CAN'T MAKE FUN OF DICKS". I started to feel indignant about cushioning transwomen's feelings when I had never seen a transwoman stick up for me, for MY bodily autonomy, defend ME against jokes where "stinky vaginas" were the punchline. The more I got squeezed out of these female safe spaces by transwomen who policed how I spoke about my experiences as a woman, who called me transphobic for acknowledging that trans and cis women have different oppressive experiences (some trans-based, some sex-based), the more I started looking at r/GenderCritical. It became my space to de-stress, to regain my sanity, to validate those tiny inklings of "this can't be right" that I had choked down for so long in order to defend transwomen. Then one day I went to GenderCritical and it was banned. That peaked me. The idea that women can't have sex-segregated spaces, the idea that trans women can simultaneously benefit from the patriarchy and then turn around and CENTER themselves in feminist discourse, the idea that I was NERVOUS to talk about my own experiences as a REAL woman to all the men in dresses in my Facebook groups hiding behind anime profile pictures, the idea that ANY image of a vulva or uterus or Venus symbol was exclusionary and that it was not ok to celebrate cis womanhood but it WAS ok to celebrate a transwoman's charicature of womanhood...it all became too much for me. Once I found this community again I felt so validated, I no longer feel policed, I feel like my lived experiences as a woman are important. I have consumed all of the content that's been posted here in a matter of days. It's the most refreshed I have felt in a long time. I'm a proud TERF. I'm never letting a man make me question my womanhood ever again.

29 comments

[–] sensusquaeram 2 points (+2|-0)

Welcome! So many of us here have similar trajectories. (Have you shared your story on the PeakTrans thread yet? It's there if you're interested!)

[–] [Deleted] 1 points (+1|-0)

Well said, except for the "cis" women part. Keep working on untangling your mind from their bs.

Not sure TERF is the correct word - I don't believe in reclaiming as we're not exclusionary of transmen AKA women (or should I say any women AKA women who call themselves transmen).

I think that's a good point actually, I would never claim I'm a TERF to anyone outside this group because my feminism isn't based solely on exclusion. But within this community I think we all know what it means to be a "TERF", which is why I was using it. But yes my feminism centers around human females so I agree TERF isn't the best word.

[–] orquidia 3 points (+3|-0)

Thank you for sharing this!! I can relate so much. Welcome!

[–] Python 3 points (+3|-0)

I was very much the same. I really do think that the majority of women who come at others for using the wrong language or for being "TERFs" also have this internal struggle. I was a whole-hearted supporter of the notion that "TWAW", but over time I realized that it just made no sense.

I hope that the tides are turning as more women peak.

[–] crispycherrypie 3 points (+3|-0)

Welcome! Your experience seems to be almost universal when it comes to former libfems.

It’s refreshing to hear stories like yours. It gives me hope that my friends who are drinking the trans kool aid will throw it up one day and come back to reality.

[–] sylviasmushrooms 4 points (+4|-0) Edited

Similar experience, similar kinship. I saw a post of mine on social media pop up from five years ago, in which I mocked anyone who had a problem with sharing bathrooms as backwards and small-minded bigots obsessed with genitals. I feel like most people peak after years of assuming the best and being a good ally and then realizing that, unless this dogma personally benefits you in some way, it unravels very quickly and throws allies under the bus like a Jenner is driving it.

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