99

I've been a lifelong left-of-liberal activist and work in a helping profession. Almost every single boss, coworker, professor, friend, and acquaintance in my past and present is utterly brainwashed. (I am lucky to know a couple real life people who aren't. I'm just feeling self-pitying). But I'm at my wit's end. I can't get away from the madness, and if I were to push back even slightly, I don't think I'm emotionally strong enough to deal with being so severely misunderstood and seen as hateful. I can handle the idea of people disagreeing with me, but the idea of them assuming I'm just randomly bigoted is so upsetting to me. I feel suffocated and like even if I screamed for days, no one would listen to me. the few times i have tried to push back one-on-one in person with trusted yet brainwashed friends, I can tell they just eye me differently, assuming i'm the ignorant one. it's crazy-making. that's all. just a rant.

I've been a lifelong left-of-liberal activist and work in a helping profession. Almost every single boss, coworker, professor, friend, and acquaintance in my past and present is utterly brainwashed. (I am lucky to know a couple real life people who aren't. I'm just feeling self-pitying). But I'm at my wit's end. I can't get away from the madness, and if I were to push back even slightly, I don't think I'm emotionally strong enough to deal with being so severely misunderstood and seen as hateful. I can handle the idea of people disagreeing with me, but the idea of them assuming I'm just randomly bigoted is so upsetting to me. I feel suffocated and like even if I screamed for days, no one would listen to me. the few times i have tried to push back one-on-one in person with trusted yet brainwashed friends, I can tell they just eye me differently, assuming i'm the ignorant one. it's crazy-making. that's all. just a rant.

80 comments

It’s frustrating. I’ve noticed it in my intelligent, college educated friends way way more than in my smart (or kinda dumb) non college educated friends. It’s fascinating that this movement doesn’t rely on stupid people, but instead plays on peoples desires to be seen as righteous and tolerant.

It’s kind of funny to me because this is one of the dumbest social movements ever. You have to really suspend intelligence and logic to buy into it. I’m not religious at all, I’m very skeptical of it, but I understand why other people believe in it. Many were indoctrinated since birth, and also the reality is we don’t KNOW there is no god. And it’s nice to think there is some force guiding us and the potential for a positive afterlife.

So it’s really funny that these liberals will turnup their noses at religious people for believing in spaghetti sky god, but buy into the gender cult which isn’t based on anything except sexually deviant men loudly proclaiming something that is against all scientific knowledge to date.

It’s just way way too easy to convince large swaths of people of whatever you want if your techniques are effective. People wonder how the nazis gained so much power. The only way out of this constant cycle is teaching humans to understand and recognize propaganda.

Its the indoctrination in critical theory in college that makes the biggest difference between the two groups.

I just witnessed this on Facebook between high school friends (we graduated in 1981). I no longer live in the state and probably wouldn't even recognize these women if they passed me on the street, but I do remember their names. One woman posted the meme with all the men cross dressing (tootsie/mrs doubtfire) saying drag story time was no big deal.

Another classmate said - why drag queens and not other professions like nurses/firefighters.n

The amount of hate directed at the second classmate was awful. So many of my high school classmates who are now 60 years old are completely indoctrinated.

I am trying to stay off all social media because I too can't take it.

I have had to sit on my hands and not respond to those drag Queen memes.

Posting photos of old movie comedy routines is in no way equivalent to sexualized drag story hours for toddlers.

Same here, I even asked why not do Burlesque Story Hour, and this person was horrified at the mere thought of Burlesque but said that Drag Queen was inclusive LOL. This person would not even let her kids watch cartoons when they were growing up. I have to assume that people are lying to themselves to conform to the sheeplehood of Transmania.

Burlesque Story Hour--that is a brilliant comeback! I am going to remember that. After all, Burlesque is supposed to be good, wholesome, empowering fun too.

I so agree. I am not sure where these women are in their own peaking. But like the Drew Barrymore thing - do my classmates realize how this is a minsogynst movement by men who want to make $$ off the lives of others like with Oxycotin. I only can hope as it starts to hit closer to home they will see the light.

So many of my high school classmates who are now 60 years old are completely indoctrinated.

Damn, that's embarrassing.

The only excuse they could possibly have at that age is early onset dementia.

Hell, my parents are mid seventies and this caused a fight in their friend group! One couple's granddaughter "came out" as nonbinary and her family took in her TIM friend (who has a crazy religious family and in past generations would have just been a gay boy). Some of their group had some genuine questions about what it actually meant for the entirely gender conforming girl to be nonbinary, and it causes an absolute shit storm and accusations of bigotry. My mom asked me about it as I am the family "LGBTQ etc etc etc" person, and the degree of sensitive tiptoeing she was doing was more than I'd ever seen her before. She clearly thought I was going to cut her off just for asking what nonbinary actually meant. Her relief when I laughed and said "yeah that's just today's teenagers emo" was palpable.

When ppl post Mrs. Doubtfire, perhaps post the pics of the sexualized "family friendly" shows that I have seen on other sites with a simple question like, "but it seems they have gone a bit too far with the adult part." For ppl who aren't TRA perhaps asking questions like, well, what about convicted rapists who identify as women being put in women's prisons. And tell them it's happening, the assaults that have happened, that many "identify" when they go to trial or are to be sentenced, etc..And cite the issue in Scotland because it is in mainstream news.

I'm really surprised that they still use Mrs. Doubtfire as an example? Like, even I look at that movie and think it went a little far with the man-in-drag jokes.-* You'd think it's a transphobic, fascist relic of the past that they'd shake their fingers at people for remembering fondly.

-* WAAAAY worse was the sexist bullshit about him being the fun!parent while his shreeeeew of a wife worked to support the family and provide structure to her children (booo!)

He was a stay-at-home father who didn't know how to clean or cook.

[–] amethyst7 0 points Edited

Oh, damn, apparently this was a lot more sexist than I remember it being. That stuff never jumped out at me as a kid 😆

[–] Luckystar 17 points Edited

You might be surprised. A lot of women privately disagree but are shamed into going along with it. The "look what happened to JK Rowling" effect. I don't talk publicly(anything attached to my real name, face, work, school etc) about this issue, ever. My other views are generally bog standard progressive so I'm sure people assume I'm a gendie lol. In fact I've had a couple older family members ask me about it, clearly looking for me to explain the TRA position, just assuming I must believe in it, only to find me being like "Meh I'm not into that". One of my best friends is also super terfy and neither of us knew for a long time because both of us hid it so well.

I wish things weren't like this. It reminds me of the authoritarian country I lived in before, where everyone pretends publicly to agree with the government, but privately some are "true believers" and others are absolutely not. You have to look for these tiny little signals. Sometimes something as simple as NOT speaking out about an issue when others are, is a sign of disagreement. Eg Let's say 9 of 10 coworkers are all posting dumbass "Drag queens don't harm kids, only churches do" memes (as if both can't be harmful!). But one isn't posting that. There's a possibility of an opening there, but it's also risky because they could simply just not care that much or not be bothered (in fact, when I gently ask people, I often find they're mostly just unaware or not thinking that much about the issue).

I think the fact that this thread is full of other women saying much the same -- "hey me too I'm a former Democrat in a deep blue state but I think this stuff is nuts" -- is also a testament to this reality. It's hard, and I absolutely despise that even in the bastion of free speech that is the USA, I find we're resorting to the same kind of covert political opinion expression that I recognize previously exclusively from repressive authoritarian regimes. But do hold out hope. There are signs of the winds changing, such as even the NPR and NY Times recently making ever so slightly balanced coverage.

I feel the same way. My friend circle is probably about half TiPs (I'm autistic and gravitate toward other autistics, so there's inevitable overlap). Pretty much every woman my age I've ever bonded with was either already trans-identified or came out at some point while I knew them... I'm in my mid 20s and I feel like I haven't had a "female friendship" since I was in elementary school for this reason. I've had my own experiences with dysphoria (but didn't know that concept/phrase at the time) and consider myself a GNC woman, but because I'm "cis" it makes me sort of an odd one out in many of the circles I'm in, or that I've previously been in.

I "peaked" in part because I realized I wasn't really comfortable talking to anyone about what I am and why. After so long hearing trans-identified friends reflect on what they are and why, I eventually started to discuss how I see myself and how I got to that point ... and I realized that there was no non-stereotypical explanation for "how" or "why" I'm a woman except "I'm female and I accept it".

[–] no- 12 points

there was no non-stereotypical explanation for "how" or "why" I'm a woman except "I'm female and I accept it".

This was also my experience when I explored my “gender identity”. I’m female and I accept it. It’s simple and true.

[–] amethyst7 1 points Edited

This is the gotcha point that TRAs/trans people use and it looks so ridiculous now that I've peaked, but when I was a handmaiden it got me to support them even more. Passively, I mean.

"How do trans people "feel" their gender? Easy. How do you know you're a woman?" 🙄

I absolutely feel this. It's one of the reasons I tend to be pessimistic when people talk about the tide turning or how it'll all crumble soon or whatever... in my circle, I just see people who I always thought were at least reasonably thoughtful toeing the party line. And they have been doing it for years, to greater and lesser degrees.

I started to raise this issue almost a decade back and had some uncomfortable discussions with various people, but that was before it was really a hot-button thing, and we kind of smoothed things over and moved on. I left the country soon anyway so I'm mostly in contact via social media now, which makes it both easier to navigate and harder to tell how much my opinion makes a difference (I try not to post anything too inflammatory at this point, but I follow and comment on the wrong sorts of people, & occasionally post links about free speech or polarization that maybe won't just raise ire..).

But, I still feel heartbroken every time another friend starts posting trans bs. If they haven't been posting on the topic at all, a part of me holds out hope it's bc they're too scared to reveal they're really GC, even if I have reason to think otherwise. Like, I have one friend who transitioned but hasn't posted on the issue, and I am still kind of waiting to hear either that this person will detransition or at least pull a Buck Angel and side with the old-school view on things. (I have at least a couple other friends/acquaintances who identify cross gender who I have no hope for and who promote the agenda constantly - it's just that one person is totally apolitical on social media.)

Anyway, usually having any hope for the quiet ones is a bad strategy, bc plenty of friends who weren't saying anything have eventually spoken up to disappoint me, to prove that they're not terrible right wing genocidal bigots who think drag queens are worse than priests and cheerleaders, or whatever the nonsense is that day. I feel very stuck, both want to & do not want to respond. I don't think i can convince anyone. I can't tell them anything new, except that I'm on the "wrong side". Maybe in person I'd have a chance, I don't know, but online it seems hopeless... I lost a few friends early on, and as I see it, it is not a logical disagreement. They have adopted a new worldview.

I know exactly what you mean about feeling heartbroken when someone you held out hope for posts some TRA stuff. hugs

Must be - a bit like growing up an atheist amid fervently religious people? My advice is to treat it like the religion it is, smile and nod, and then act like you don't care and change the subject to something else.

I've compared it to being at the beach when the ocean suddenly recedes, and screaming at other beachgoers to get to higher ground immediately, but they look at me like I'm the crazy one. I know that I'm going to be proven right and they're going to get pulled under, but there's nothing I can do.

I am as certain as I've ever been about anything in my life that this ends in disaster. I think the damage to the party I belong to (Democrat) will take decades to unwind, if it ever does. This will not be quietly swept into the memory hole. People will not forgive us for following the pied piper.

Even if they're people who were/are my friends, I can't ultimately give that much of a shit about somebody's opinion of me that's based on insane lack of logic. It's like knowing religious people think I'm a sinner going to hell. I'd like people to see me as I see myself, but that's not always going to happen.

what's frustrating for me isn't that they wouldn't like my opinion, but that they wouldn't get it. they would think i'm just scared of diversity and believe in traditional gender roles. it's so backwards. it's the being misunderstood. i don't know why it bothers me so much. like, hate me for what i stand for, sure. but don't think i stand for random bigotry. that's just innaccurate

[–] amethyst7 4 points Edited

I laugh at their stupid "old white able-bodied Karen conservative boomer" memes. It's hilarious how ingrained they are that they all think we're the type of people to call talk shows and whinge about the state of the world.

Like... no, honey, no, I don't fall into your little box.

[–] RipleyIsMyHero 10 points Edited

Never have I been more happy to live in the most conservative part of California (Central Valley.) I’m in one of the few non union school districts which even defied mask mandates toward the tail end of the pandemic last year. All sex Ed curricula is previewed for the parents. All classrooms can be visited. All of my coworkwrs, most of whom are female, actively abhor the pronoun and identity bullshit to the point where we laugh and ridicule the bullshit sexual harassment trainings we must take per CA law of which about 25% is gender woo.

I’m working hard in subtle ways with my 14 year old, likely gay daughter to build a foundation of feminism that does not include men. She recently started spontaneously watching South Park and loves it. I also got her 1984 recently and she is really interested in the themes so far I encourage this behavior. She will not be allowed a cell phone or unmonitored internet access until at least 16 (she has an Apple Watch for messaging her friends)

I hate so much that some of you ladies have to put up with this abject dismissal of women’s sex based rights. If that ever came into my work place I would quit but I know so many of you don’t have that option.

Stay strong sisters. 1984 is here now. Some of us are not under Big Brother’s spell.

A lot of us lonely right now. I’m in the DC area (so extra blue) and I have found no one I can’t talk freely with in real life, except my husband. The isolation can be draining.

If anyone in the DC/Maryland area is in search of a friend, PM me, yo!

I appreciate that! I'm in a super blue city myself, but different region. I can't even walk into a coffeeshop without seeing trans flags and signs that say "you must refer to our baristas using they/them pronouns unless otherwise stated." Feel free to PM me as well if you ever want to vent!

I'm in a purple city, and a few months ago I visited the coffee shop in the gay neighborhood. They had a sign by the register that warned customers to refrain from referring to baristas as "ma'am, miss, or sir." The staff has tended to be very gender diverse and surly for years now.

I went in again last weekend, and the crew seemed...idk, just more normal? Less goofy hair and clothes, more relaxed attitudes. I didn't recognize anyone. The young woman at the counter smiled and greeted us with, "Hi, guys!" I almost fainted upon hearing such a microaggression uttered in that space. But the scoldy sign was gone. They still have the hideous flag, but I wondered if they got sick of such a high-maintenance and unpleasant staff and cleaned house.

[–] amethyst7 3 points Edited

Is that an exaggeration or are there actually signs telling you what pronouns to call a barista? /facepalm

Where would you even refer to a barista in the third person anyway?

[–] Nediljka_Orwell PITA crone 13 points

you must refer to our baristas using they/them pronouns unless otherwise stated.

Wow. Time to buy a thermos and make your own java.

That's just about every coffee shop around here. :/ They all have that garish Progress Pride flag.

[–] amethyst7 1 points Edited

I always thought that thing was horrific. Plus it includes intersex people, who, as a community, maintain they don't want to be part of LGBT-whatever and are constantly used as a scapegoat for the trans ideology.

Kensington, MD resident, graduate of a women's college, proud second-wave feminist, who is becoming increasingly gender critical here.

How do I do that!? I’m in the area as well.

Click their username to go to their profile.

In the sidebar of the profile is a button to send a private message.

If you’re on a small screen, use the hamburger menu (two lines at the top right) to pull up the sidebar.

[–] Artemis_Lives 8 points Edited

Herd mentality is strong. People cave to peer-pressure, and supporting the trans cause is in vogue right now. Trendy activism is the worst because of this reason. A bunch of people supporting causes for virtue points or in fear of getting accused of being "mean". I understand it feels bad, but there's always somebody who's going to dislike you, so its better to stand by the truth than care about being liked.

Load more (11 comments)