"Dylan Mulvaney is immensely popular because he's a flamboyant homosexual "sassy gay friend." Liberal women desperately want trans to mean "super gay" rather than mostly het AGP with high comorbidities, and Mulvaney delivers."
Just to add to the other replies, straight women will see a flamboyant gay man as preferable to a butch lesbian as a friend because he’s;
a) not interested in her sexually (can’t guarantee that from the lesbian)
b) not competition for her the way regular female friends could be.
And let’s face it, we’ve been fed enough media that flamboyant gay men are fun, and some of them genuinely are. And the media has also fed us that butch, or any, lesbians aren’t fun. They were portrayed as awkward, fussy and just off for so long in the media. It’s hard to break that perception.
Edit: spelling
Just to add to the other replies, straight women will see a flamboyant gay man as preferable to a butch lesbian as a friend because he’s;
a) not interested in her sexually (can’t guarantee that from the lesbian)
b) not competition for her the way regular female friends could be.
And let’s face it, we’ve been fed enough media that flamboyant gay men are fun, and some of them genuinely are. And the media has also fed us that butch, or any, lesbians aren’t fun. They were portrayed as awkward, fussy and just off for so long in the media. It’s hard to break that perception.
Edit: spelling
Yeah, one thing I've noticed over time is that while gay men obviously do face plenty of homophobia from many different directions, there are more positive depictions/stereotypes/perceptions of them than there are of lesbians. I know that gay men aren't always fond of these stereotypes and tropes, but at least some of them are meant to be positive on some level, you know? A lot of media portrayals and stereotypes about gay men seem to highlight how funny, glamorous, fun, attractive, and exciting they are. The "sassy gay friend" trope is simplistic and irritating to a lot of gay men, and I can understand why, but at least there's some sort of desirable stereotype surrounding them. There really isn't anything comparable for lesbians. Lesbians (and especially butch/GNC lesbians) are either ignored completely or depicted negatively as if we're frumpy, humorless, grumpy, an embarrassment, or even predatory.
The "gay man / straight woman" kind of friendship is held up as this big thing and sometimes exalted as an ideal friendship dynamic, but there really isn't anything comparable out there that treats lesbians in the same way. Now, I honestly have no desire for a similar "lesbian woman / straight man" dynamic to take over -- personally, almost every time a straight man learns that I'm a lesbian, he suddenly starts treating me like I'm basically not a woman and as if I relate to and want to engage in the degrading ways they view and talk about women -- but it'd just be nice if we weren't so often cast out as these embarrassing, sinister, or undesirable people. Unfortunately a lot of people (men and women alike) view lesbians (again especially lesbians who aren't feminine) as if we're not even real women, so we get compared to men and it's assumed that we have similar beliefs and behaviors as men do, which is so lesbophobic and untrue.
Yeah, one thing I've noticed over time is that while gay men obviously do face plenty of homophobia from many different directions, there are more positive depictions/stereotypes/perceptions of them than there are of lesbians. I know that gay men aren't always fond of these stereotypes and tropes, but at least some of them are meant to be positive on some level, you know? A lot of media portrayals and stereotypes about gay men seem to highlight how funny, glamorous, fun, attractive, and exciting they are. The "sassy gay friend" trope is simplistic and irritating to a lot of gay men, and I can understand why, but at least there's *some* sort of desirable stereotype surrounding them. There really isn't anything comparable for lesbians. Lesbians (and especially butch/GNC lesbians) are either ignored completely or depicted negatively as if we're frumpy, humorless, grumpy, an embarrassment, or even predatory.
The "gay man / straight woman" kind of friendship is held up as this big thing and sometimes exalted as an ideal friendship dynamic, but there really isn't anything comparable out there that treats lesbians in the same way. Now, I honestly have no desire for a similar "lesbian woman / straight man" dynamic to take over -- personally, almost every time a straight man learns that I'm a lesbian, he suddenly starts treating me like I'm basically not a woman and as if I relate to and want to engage in the degrading ways they view and talk about women -- but it'd just be nice if we weren't so often cast out as these embarrassing, sinister, or undesirable people. Unfortunately a lot of people (men and women alike) view lesbians (again especially lesbians who aren't feminine) as if we're not even real women, so we get compared to men and it's assumed that we have similar beliefs and behaviors as men do, which is so lesbophobic and untrue.
Yeah you kind of got to it in the second paragraph. I had a lesbian friend for awhile but the “one of the boys” treatment she got from men who were downright abusive to me and other women made me really untrusting of her. I have no idea whether she spoke in degrading terms about women when she was with those guys, but the way they seemed to accept her as one of them when they themselves were the worst beings I ever had the displeasure of meeting had an unfortunate aura effect to me.
That and she experienced sexism very differently than I did. We both experienced it, but there were definitely aspects of her experience I didn’t “get” and aspects of mine that she didn’t “get” either. Sometimes it felt like she made perhaps unintentionally disparaging remarks about non-lesbian women; I’m sure sometimes she felt the same of me about lesbians.
Yeah you kind of got to it in the second paragraph. I had a lesbian friend for awhile but the “one of the boys” treatment she got from men who were downright abusive to me and other women made me really untrusting of her. I have no idea whether she spoke in degrading terms about women when she was with those guys, but the way they seemed to accept her as one of them when they themselves were the worst beings I ever had the displeasure of meeting had an unfortunate aura effect to me.
That and she experienced sexism very differently than I did. We both experienced it, but there were definitely aspects of her experience I didn’t “get” and aspects of mine that she didn’t “get” either. Sometimes it felt like she made perhaps unintentionally disparaging remarks about non-lesbian women; I’m sure sometimes she felt the same of me about lesbians.
Yeah - this is interesting. I agree with your assessment of media representation and maybe have never thought about how that doesn't jive with reality at all (not that stereotypes usually do). I've had several butch lesbian friends and in every case, the reason we gravitated to one another was a similar sense of humour. I mentioned above that all of these women now think they're guys, but also, now that I think of it, their humour got yeeted along with their teets.
Yeah - this is interesting. I agree with your assessment of media representation and maybe have never thought about how that doesn't jive with reality at all (not that stereotypes usually do). I've had several butch lesbian friends and in every case, the reason we gravitated to one another was a similar sense of humour. I mentioned above that all of these women now think they're guys, but also, now that I think of it, their humour got yeeted along with their teets.
I know it's a typo, but could you have a reread of your comment please? :)
I know it's a typo, but could you have a reread of your comment please? :)
Completely off topic but i alllllways have to correct b#tch to butch several times, every single time, it's really off-putting. I never write the one with i so wtf
Completely off topic but i alllllways have to correct b#tch to butch several times, every single time, it's really off-putting. I never write the one with i so wtf
I think many women are socialized to be nice and polite and compliant, but gay men are allowed to be outspoken and arrogant and fabulous. Having a "sassy gay friend" kind of gives women an ok to be more outgoing and unrestrained.
I think many women are socialized to be nice and polite and compliant, but gay men are allowed to be outspoken and arrogant and fabulous. Having a "sassy gay friend" kind of gives women an ok to be more outgoing and unrestrained.
I play this game when I see a gay men on TV now: if a straight women said/did that in that way, would it be lovable or annoying?
I play this game when I see a gay men on TV now: if a straight women said/did that in that way, would it be lovable or annoying?
I'd personally love a super butch lesbian friend
I'd personally love a super butch lesbian friend
I hate that the trans fad is destroying young butch lesbians. All the ones I know personally are via my aunt (so they're all over 50). And i think they were good role models for me to have around growing up
I hate that the trans fad is destroying young butch lesbians. All the ones I know personally are via my aunt (so they're all over 50). And i think they were good role models for me to have around growing up
I had a few, and now they all think they're dudes!!
I had a few, and now they all think they're dudes!!
Women have been trained to seek male approval and despise other women. We're told that lesbians are a threat that will creep on us and gay men are feminist allies and will never hit on us.
Women have been trained to seek male approval and despise other women. We're told that lesbians are a threat that will creep on us and gay men are feminist allies and will never hit on us.
Seriously, all the flamboyantly gay guys I’ve been acquainted with got obnoxious pretty fast. Where can I find a cool butch lesbian friend who wants to do woodworking projects with me?
Seriously, all the flamboyantly gay guys I’ve been acquainted with got obnoxious pretty fast. Where can I find a cool butch lesbian friend who wants to do woodworking projects with me?
The real question is why liberal women are desperate to have a “sassy gay friend?” It’s interesting that women are never desperate to have a super butch lesbian friend.