25

I came across this article, Sharon Alger's "Female Dating Strategy: The positives and negatives of the movement" on Medium from early February of this year (yes, i checked and it's not been posted yet).

It's pretty funny, because we're reading along and she's doing a good job defending the accusation of FDSers being gold diggers and whatnot, but then the author goes 180 when it comes to transphobia. Apparently, sharing national news sources on Twitter about how delusional men have an unfair advantage over women in sports is transmisic.

I unfollowed them immediately. This is disgusting and unacceptable. I searched the sub for the term, ‘trans.’ How was their transphobia so visible on Twitter, yet hidden on Reddit?

[...] As far as I’m concerned, a sub’s Twitter account represents the community as a whole. Those tweets drew a line in the sand. They owe it to their members to be more transparent on the subreddit about their actual beliefs. This declaration of hate for the trans community has soured my opinion of FDS. It’s a shame because they give positive dating lessons for women. It bothers me that they weren’t open about their hatred of trans people on Reddit. Was it because they knew they’d hemorrhage members left, right and center if they were honest? If you’re a member and wondered whether the accusations of transphobia were true, they are. Please don’t turn a blind eye to this.

Link on Medium

Archive Link

I came across this article, Sharon Alger's "Female Dating Strategy: The positives and negatives of the movement" on Medium from early February of this year (yes, i checked and it's not been posted yet). It's pretty funny, because we're reading along and she's doing a good job defending the accusation of FDSers being gold diggers and whatnot, but then the author goes 180 when it comes to transphobia. Apparently, sharing national news sources on Twitter about how delusional men have an unfair advantage over women in sports is transmisic. >I unfollowed them immediately. This is disgusting and unacceptable. I searched the sub for the term, ‘trans.’ How was their transphobia so visible on Twitter, yet hidden on Reddit? >[...] As far as I’m concerned, a sub’s Twitter account represents the community as a whole. Those tweets drew a line in the sand. They owe it to their members to be more transparent on the subreddit about their actual beliefs. This declaration of hate for the trans community has soured my opinion of FDS. It’s a shame because they give positive dating lessons for women. It bothers me that they weren’t open about their hatred of trans people on Reddit. Was it because they knew they’d hemorrhage members left, right and center if they were honest? If you’re a member and wondered whether the accusations of transphobia were true, they are. Please don’t turn a blind eye to this. [Link on Medium](https://medium.com/sharon-alger/female-dating-strategy-90430f6764d3) [Archive Link](https://web.archive.org/web/20210430013719/https://medium.com/sharon-alger/female-dating-strategy-90430f6764d3)

13 comments

[–] lavenderlondonfog 1 points (+1|-0) Edited

The FDS subreddit specifically does not allow discussion of trans topics because of how ban-happy Reddit is. If these people had any familiarity with our views and language maybe they'd be able to spot the rare instances where some commenters make references to more base radfem tenets but I think that's expecting too much :/

[–] RisingUp 3 points (+3|-0) Edited

But I’d love to see someone else start up a similar, but better movement in the future.

She’d love to see TRAs rip it off if they can’t colonise it, the same way they do with everything women build. I think I’d like to see it too. A libfem version of FDS would be a car crash.

I think it would be like what the manosphere believe FDSers. Riding the "cock carousel" and their other accusations.

[–] MenHaveItEasy 4 points (+4|-0) Edited

Yeah, a lot of libfems have this kneejerk reaction. They agree a lot with what FDS and radfems say - then they malfunction and do a full purge of any agreement or praise if they encounter something that's "violently transphobic". Such as, not wanting males in female sports.

They owe it to their members to be more transparent on the subreddit about their actual beliefs. This declaration of hate for the trans community has soured my opinion of FDS.

Of course the cynical side of me believes that the whole thing was a farce. She doesnt care about female positivity, and giving advice to each other on how to stay happy, independent, and safe in the male dominated world and dating. Her only goal was to "whistle blow" that FDS is transphobic hate sub (even though there's no discussions about trans stuff there anyway), and hopefully get the Preddit admins to delete the sub.

[–] KissMyOvaries 10 points (+10|-0)

Ah. No. The sub definitely wouldn’t be hemorrhaging members left and right if their GC views were known. The sub has to be super strict or else they’ll be banned, too, like every other woman centered sub that was on Reddit. But, of course, the author has to twist the truth to fit an agenda.

[–] Jellyfishes 10 points (+10|-0)

Was it because they knew they’d hemorrhage members left, right and center if they were honest

No, it's because reddick would ban them like they did with all other women subs that criticized the trans cult.

[–] Mikkal 25 points (+25|-0)

I don't agree with FDS 100%, the subreddit can be kinda negative sometimes so I can only take it in short bursts and not everyday, and I'm not in the dating pool anyways. That being said...

I wish it existed when I was a teenager and getting into dating. I wish it existed for my friends who were in a rush to get into a relationship to get out of an abusive home, only to jump to a differently abusive one with a partner.

[–] LilyGoat 17 points (+17|-0)

I cannot imagine how my life would have been different had it existed when I was a teenager. Some of their takes are a bit cringey... but I consider that a GOOD thing because it means the main audience and contributors are young (teenage and young 20s) women.

Not only that, but they taught me (in my late 20s) lessons on boundaries that I had never learned before, and I have heard from a lot of women that they were their intro to radical feminism. If you look at WGTOW--you will also see people sort of move from FDS to wanting separatism or to be single because... FDS does not shy away from the fact that there are very few men that are worth it. Just knowing that is a huge relief for women, because they can accurately decide if they want the work/risk vs potential reward, and more and more women are saying "no."

I definitely have some very serious critique of FDS, however.... I probably would of any movement that involves interacting with males because it undoubtedly involves compartmentalization. If you ARE going to interact with men, and lets face it separatism isn't for everyone, I think FDS is probably the best we currently have as a blueprint.

[–] Mikkal 8 points (+8|-0)

Some of their takes are a bit cringey... but I consider that a GOOD thing because it means the main audience and contributors are young (teenage and young 20s) women.

You know, I didn't think about it like that before.

This declaration of hate for the trans community

It would be abnormal to have positive feelings for male sexual fetish (TIM) or female self-abuse following sexual abuse (TIF), would it not?

Yes. It reminds me of the analogy with child labor reformers. If terfs or swerfs are against transgender people and victims of the sex trade, than child labor reformers are against children. We see a corrupt system that needs change. There are so many here whose child, partner, or even themselves drank the transgender kool aid. It's like assuming by saying i want to stop self-harm that i hate people who fall victim to it.

[–] Bruxa 42 points (+42|-0)

FDS features 0 trans discourse and it's my to-go sub when I can safely browse without trans issues jumping out on me. I'm not even dating or considering dating a man, but I enjoy calling out men on their bullshit. FDS owes nothing to the trans lobby.