97

Most of these people don't even have dysphoria, they just dress and act a certain way. It reminds me a lot of my friend who clung to her INTP type all the way through high school. She related everything she did back to her Myers Briggs type. It seemed to define her entire being... just like the enbies who're so obsessed with their masculine and feminine "energy."

However, while personality tests are treated like a stupid girl thing, gender identity is seen as legitimate. They're both based on feelings. Both groups also love to affirm how much they align with their personality type, astrological sign, gender, etc. Preteens/teenagers tend to cling to any sense of identity or label that even moderately describes them. The big difference is that one of these groups has "professionals" grooming kids into irreparably damaging their bodies, and the others do not.

Most of these people don't even have dysphoria, they just dress and act a certain way. It reminds me a lot of my friend who clung to her INTP type all the way through high school. She related everything she did back to her Myers Briggs type. It seemed to define her entire being... just like the enbies who're so obsessed with their masculine and feminine "energy." However, while personality tests are treated like a stupid girl thing, gender identity is seen as legitimate. They're both based on feelings. Both groups also love to affirm how much they align with their personality type, astrological sign, gender, etc. Preteens/teenagers tend to cling to any sense of identity or label that even moderately describes them. The big difference is that one of these groups has "professionals" grooming kids into irreparably damaging their bodies, and the others do not.

48 comments

[–] IrishTheFrenchie 33 points (+33|-0)

My father went through a whole period that lasted almost a decade where he was obsessed with that personality scale.

He loved to say “well, you’re an ESTJ so that why you do xyz” and other stuff like that.

He eventually stopped and he isn’t trans or a narcissist but he does have an obsessive type personality and is way too fixated on both his weight and the weight of others around him. I call him “manorexic “ which sounds funny but isn’t really. His constant nagging about food “do you really need that?” Contributed to my anorexia and body issues.

[–] Boudicaea 8 points (+8|-0)

My friend's dad was also super into personality types for a little while. Great guy, good dad and nice person, but was a bit odd. He is an engineer, and had the sort of personality you are describing also. More of a gamer and chef as obsessive hobbies than anorexia, though.

My dad's an engineer as well. HA! Must be something about that personality. lol.

[–] Zola 6 points (+6|-0)

oh no, I hope you got help for your anorexia.

It took a while, but I did. Thanks xox. I still have obsessive thoughts over food, but at least I'm a healthy weight.

[–] remquarqk 28 points (+28|-0)

Every time I take that damn test I get a different result.

Yeah, it's really annoying to think about though. I treat the personality tests and things like astrology in a pretty lighthearted manner, and I always get made fun of for it by mainly men. So it's really annoying to then think about how the same men talk about gender fluidity as some type of scientific concept when it's not.

[–] TiredDev 18 points (+18|-0)

Yeah I was actually taught in my psych course that those tests aren't very credible because your answers will change depending on how you feel when you answer them; they might even change if the same question is asked again different points of the test. It's just part of the large, not especially new, phenomenon of people desperate to label themselves and fit into something, rather than wanting to just exist however they are.

[–] Feministunderyrbed 10 points (+10|-0)

That’s my experience too. My answer to almost every question is, “It depends.” But I took a class at one point where part of my grade depended on taking the Myers-Briggs and planning my projects around my type.

[–] FeminineMistake 3 points (+3|-0)

My exact issue. Would you rather have a two person dinner party at home or go to a restaurant with 10? Would you rather go to a museum or on a hike? Etc. Seriously, “it depends” for almost all people with such questions.

[–] hmimperialtortie 19 points (+19|-0)

Oh god, not Myers Briggs! I’ve managed to get totally different answers on that thing because it never says whether it’s asking about what your actual, person-who-lives-in-society response is, or what you’d like to say/do.

As for enbies etc ... seems they alternate between boring teenage costumes.

[–] LisbonMuse 16 points (+16|-0) Edited

Ahh I love this. I remember taking that test and getting "the architect (INTJ-T)" (just had to search through my old emails to remember which one it even was LOL) and them saying that type was so rare. Then I started seeing it pop up on everyone's profiles or about me's on various sites. I thought "huh, it doesn't seem so rare!" It felt like they paraded that label around to feel unique, and defined their whole personality around it, similar to what you said.

Or the whole "sorry, I'm an Aries" kind of personality too!

Why can't we just bond with people who share similar experiences or have similar interests as us? Why does there need to be a label for everything? By getting that label, people let it control them and put them in a box. And you're totally right too, with the gender identity, it gets dangerous with permanent damage.

[–] NO 10 points (+10|-0)

Lol I literally said the same thing.

Everyone online seems to be intj

[–] Hollyhock 16 points (+16|-0)

Like Buzzfeed quizzes. "Which Bridgerton sibling are you?"

[–] FeminineMistake 4 points (+4|-0)

Those at least are funny, and not presented as revealing Scientific Deep Insights Into Your Existence.

[–] NO 12 points (+12|-0)

How everyone somehow scores as intj on the mbti test

[–] fireworks 9 points (+9|-0) Edited

Seriously, people hold onto typology too seriously these days. Maybe they need a sense of belonging after covid made them isolated? Maybe rising number of atheists need a belief system and a way to make sense of their lives? All of it feels kinda immature tbh, you need to grow up at some point and stop believing that labels and made up identities define you.

Context: close longtime friend is 45yrs old

I love her, I have loved her for 23 yrs but she is making it harder and harder.

She's fallen down the Myers-Briggs rabbit hole as of late. Sure it's fun but it isn't reality.

Our Saturday hangout consisted of her rattling on for almost four hours about her recent accomplishments (there aren't any) and how it 'totally 'reflects' her 'INTP' personality type.

She's always been performative but it has gotten so much worse - Insta filters and whatever quotes she thinks are profound (they're not), a million selfies a day of her fake life. While she cries to me of the stress, the despair... meanwhile her kid is on Discord getting groomed by TIMs.

Any: job, adulting, parenting is too hard (she's a single parent). Everything is too fucking hard except hanging out with her loser BF.

Before COVID it was some other excuse - something new every couple of years but it has gotten markedly worse.

But you see now everything has a purpose or is a sign and she is enlightened. FFS. 🙄

[–] Frau_BerchDUH 3 points (+3|-0)

Jesus, she's 45??? She sounds chronically depressed, really. Hope she gets some decent help.

I don't know what she is.

I've recommended counseling and she gets very defensive and angry. I gently explain that most people that need it tend to refuse it and there are no guarantees.. but if life is seems more difficult than it should why not seek tools to cope?

Her kid even though seriously confused gets that her mom is off and that she herself is off. The narcissism of the mother is there for all to see and the loneliness of the child is palpable and easy to see.

I'm not responsible but I do love them both. I've been there for the big and small events in both of their lives

Rough situation. At this point I just listen as my words are received with defensiveness and fury.

I hope she gets the help she needs too. Even if not for her but for the girl behind her.

[–] Riothamus scrote 7 points (+11|-4) Edited

It reminds me a lot of my friend who clung to her INTP type all the way through high school.

Yeah... that's kind of an INTP thing.

Edit for the downvoters- I'm speaking from my own experience as an I/ENTP. We love categorization and people question whether we're autistic for perfectly valid reasons.

[–] Tnetennba 3 points (+4|-1)

2,000% it totally is. I went through a hardcore MBTI phase and the INTs were way overrepresented because it's totally an NT thing to be obsessed with categories and pattern recognition.

[–] serfnterf 3 points (+4|-1)

I think the N types in general. I see a lot of ENF/INF profiles too.

[–] sonic_fiXXation 5 points (+5|-0) Edited

It's an identity thing. It's a way to aquire status/value without actually doing anything. Just say you're the thing and suddenly you're special. This whole inclusivity is going to backfire on then though (I mean, after it obliterates women's rights) because you can't be the most special if everyone is the most special. In order to be special you have to be exclusive.

[–] roundabout 4 points (+4|-0)

It's a way to aquire status/value without actually doing anything

That's a really illuminating comment on the whole "identity thing", as you put it. Helps make a lot of sense of things for me actually. So it's driven by some kind of desperate need for personal significance… Why do they feel that need, though?

Sometimes I think my parents' generation (1940s-born) have much the best grasp on reality; the vast majority of them have zero desire to "rise above" the crowd. The kind of behaviour that's the absolute norm among young people today was seen as "showing off" and very much frowned upon.

[–] sonic_fiXXation 1 points (+1|-0)

That's a really illuminating comment on the whole "identity thing", as you put it. Helps make a lot of sense of things for me actually. So it's driven by some kind of desperate need for personal significance… Why do they feel that need, though?

I'm not really sure, but I think there's many angles for it. Brace yourself, I'm about to just free-type whatever comes to mind lol.

I think it might have started with capitalism over the last idk (50? 70?) years, in general, this have something to do with the mindset. The idea that everything is scarce, so if you want something, you've got to get it for yourself. It could be a big tv, it could be an impressive job, a new car, whatever. And when you get it, you should show off that you have it, so people can admire you - because they want to be like you, having the things that only the best of the best can have.

Fast forward to the age of the internet, the age of consumer credit, where people can obtain status symbols (cars, tvs etc) easily. These things don't say much about how much better you are than everyone else anymore, because almost anyone can get hold of them. But the mindset is already there. Keeping up with the Joneses. We still do it, buying that latest iPhone every year. But it's not enough. Maybe it's because it's too easy. There's no effort involved.

Now we need other ways for people to signal their exclusive, unique, superiority. If it's not "what I have" (because anyone can have it), then it has to be "who I am", and I think this will die out for the same reason; anyone can be it. Virtue signalling comes into this. Luxury beliefs. Who you vote for.

A need to feel special and better than others, and for other people to notice it. We're socialised for it too. Everything we see around us from childhood. I'm sure there's some politics and economics in there too: individualism vs communitarianism. Advertising shows us that people in their ads are special. That if we buy the product we will be that awesome person the actor is playing. Movies and stories depict main characters who have special, interesting traits/experiences. Celebrities are often quirky in some way and the lesson is that you have to be special to be someone. Sport pits people against each other: team vs team, one on one, and even this is about identity. What team? What colours? Us vs them. It's about winning. A feeling of success. A feeling of accomplishment. These are all human needs, we need to feel these things.

There's so much from every angle that reinforces the idea that we are competing with each other for attention, for the spot light. And maybe, it might be that life just isn't satisfying enough for us anymore. It could be an addiction, like social media attention is addictive, when you post things seeking likes and shares, getting that dopamine hit is too easy, and the more you get, the more you want.

I mean.. I don't really know but i feel like it's a human drive to feel successful, and for that success to be easily accomplished by identifying yourself as something that people immediately praise, because by praising you publicly, especially if you just come out as NB, they're signalling their virtue, too.

[–] roundabout 0 points (+0|-0)

The addiction angle on competing for attention is an interesting one. It certainly can seem as if that is a factor here.

[–] FeminineMistake 3 points (+3|-0)

OMG yes. Or horoscopes.

In my circles, I don’t see MB or enneagrams treated as stupid girl things - I find they’re taken way too seriously by HR and management, including lots of men, who don’t seem to realize it’s pseudoscience. But I can see how it would be gendered in some settings. The thing that gets to me is it’s utter bunk, scientifically. First of all, any of the questions that are binary (would you rather X or Y? Rather than a Likert scale) are nonsense. If you would always rather go home alone, or always rather party, you’re mentally ill. Healthy people sometimes like one, sometimes like the other, and it’s all about the gradations.

Worse is that the same person taking the same test 12 hours apart will often score as a distinctly different personality type. Really it measures how you’re feeling in the given moment. That may have some utility, eg in mindfulness, CBT, etc, but it’s utter garbage at telling people how to make broad choices that will affect their lives (employment, cohabiting, etc.)

Load more (14 comments)