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My mom listened to a presentation from Ellie Krug: "Changed Genders, Changed Perspectives". I never heard of him before. I was curious if anyone has.

My mom listened to a presentation from Ellie Krug: "Changed Genders, Changed Perspectives". I never heard of him before. I was curious if anyone has.

6 comments

[–] DarthVelma 4 points (+4|-0)

"Admittedly, my knowledge of Minneapolis’s zoning regulations was quite lacking; yet, I thought my passion would make up for any nuances that I did not fully understand."

So he admits he didn't know what he was talking about and was hoping to just win the argument by being the loudest...and gets his knickers in a twist when someone tells him he's ignorant. When he just admitted in writing that he was ignorant.

Dude, those women didn't stand up for you because you didn't deserve it. We have limited political capital to begin with and absolutely no reason to waste it on a man in a dress who's in the wrong anyway.

[–] heartwitch 2 points (+2|-0)

My employer hired Ellie Krug to give a talk. It pretty much boiled down to "we all go through shit and have to be kind to each other and ourselves." No value add, in my opinion, but some of the women were gushing over him.

[–] Livin 2 points (+2|-0) Edited

Sometimes I have a really hard time believing in TIMs (unless they look like Blair White) when they say that once they transitioned men are now suddenly sexist and misogynistic towards them. Really, like really? Yet TIMs still seem to get jobs and raise to high positions in like Big Tech, Video gaming, Engineering, and Computer Science over biological females. TIMs will say how men have been condescending to them or mainsplain to them. However, do men really talk down to TIMs or is it just some fantasy in their minds. I just can't see it happening, unless maybe it was TIM who passes really well.

Maybe they think (I use the word loosely) that ordinary men barely hiding their scorn or distaste for TIMs is “misogyny”.

[–] Mikkal 2 points (+2|-0)

I found and read this, and I've heard some of this before... the thing about exclamation marks. However, I find this insulting. Being lectured by a man that women need to stand up for women... that women are "obligated" to help others... yeah, it's very sexist isn't it?

https://www.mnbar.org/hennepin-county-bar-association/resources/hennepin-lawyer/articles/2020/02/27/jumping-the-gender-fence-lessons-learned-by-a-newly-minted-woman

[–] Livin 3 points (+3|-0) Edited

On top of that public mansplaining, I learned another important lesson of womanhood that morning: not one of the women in the room rose to my defense. There was not a single, “Excuse me, but I wonder how your words just made Ellie feel?” I did not even get another female sliding up to whisper, “Are you okay?”

I am sorry to report to my sisters-in-arms that women are slow to support other women when they are under attack by men. This, too, I did not understand going in, but I have witnessed such grave allyship omissions many times since.

I completely agree with you. I find it insulting and sexist as well. If Ellie was a witness to a woman at the meeting being berated by that man, would Ellie have stuck up for that woman and been an ally? When Ellie was a man, prior to transitioning, did he ever stick up and advocate for women when they were being talked down too, mansplained, or humiliated? So Ellie transitions into a woman, and now everyone has to help him when his feelings get hurt.

We don't know the full context of that situation. Maybe the other women in the room were shocked. Maybe the women in the room didn't really know you very well Ellie, and didn't feel like it was there place to intervene. Maybe that man was inappropriate and had previously humiliated some of the other women and as a result they didn't feel confident enough to be an ally to you. Maybe the other women in the room had previous experiences with that man and knew it was best to ignore the situation rather then be your ally in that moment. Maybe there is a legitimate worry that by being an ally in that moment to a hotheaded sexist man, there is a fear that it could create an ugly and potentially scary situation. Maybe the women in that meeting knew that the man was a misogynist and they knew it was best to ignore him, because being an "ally" would have caused tension, long drawn out fighting, and just beaten a dead horse (because you can't force a misogynist to not be a misogynist). I think if you were actually a woman, Ellie, you might have understood the hesitation of the other women in the room.

Also, maybe that man in the room is a large donor or an important asset to the organization and the women know that if they piss him off in that moment they could lose their funding, or lose necessary information or contacts. Maybe Ellie you were being ignorant and your narcissism and male entitlement allowed you talk nonsense, waste everyone's time, and that man was the only person in the room who actually said it out loud. Maybe the women agreed with that man's sentiments. Finally Ellie why are you not also addressing the fact the other men in the room also did not stick up for you. Why is it that the women should have stuck up for you, why not any of the men? Somehow, Ellie you expect, an imaginary sisterhood, and all women should stick up for you when you feel humiliated? Ellie have you not heard of a thing called the glass ceiling?

However, what I find most telling is that Ellie says none of the women approached him after the meeting or at a later date and offered their condolences, feedback, support, etc. Maybe because there was something wrong in your behavior Ellie. Maybe your behavior is still male behavior and women feel uncomfortable siding up to you and giving you support. I've been in instances where men have talked down to me, mansplained, berated, and humiliated me. There have been many times were women in the moment did not actively stick up for me. I never felt like they were obligated to help me in the moment. Usually it's because "we" (the women) knew that by saying something the man would lose their temper and the situation would escalate. It would be better to be silent, and deal with the situation after he left. Usually when I would be alone with those women (whether it a later time or different day), we would talk about it, discuss the male's terrible behavior, work to find ways to support one another, and find a solution. It just wouldn't happen right then and there, the way that Ellie wanted his female allies to behave.