112

Crazily, at five minutes in, the only response to it right now is a heart. I imagine I'll get some major burn later, though, because I lived in a very Groupthink enclave.

I went in soft with the enby phenomenon:

"This is commentary on my observations that society has recently regressed from the gender abolition project that I, as a member of generation X, fondly remember and desperately wish we hadn't jettisoned before we fully achieved it. We should not be at a point where girls feel like opting out of womanhood is the only way to resist being sexualized or belittled."

And then I went on for a full page about not encouraging your kids to identify out of oppression and throw other girls under the bus. I have SO many friends whose kids are theying themselves, and it breaks my heart.

I might have mentioned rapists and Boko Haram not caring about pronouns.

Yes,I am drinking now...

ETA: the copypasta rage has begun... Oh well.

Crazily, at five minutes in, the only response to it right now is a heart. I imagine I'll get some major burn later, though, because I lived in a very Groupthink enclave. I went in soft with the enby phenomenon: "This is commentary on my observations that society has recently regressed from the gender abolition project that I, as a member of generation X, fondly remember and desperately wish we hadn't jettisoned before we fully achieved it. We should not be at a point where girls feel like opting out of womanhood is the only way to resist being sexualized or belittled." And then I went on for a full page about not encouraging your kids to identify out of oppression and throw other girls under the bus. I have SO many friends whose kids are theying themselves, and it breaks my heart. I might have mentioned rapists and Boko Haram not caring about pronouns. Yes,I am drinking now... ETA: the copypasta rage has begun... Oh well.

28 comments

[–] Hollyhock 43 points (+43|-0)

I'm sure there will be at least one person whose brain is opened by this, and a bunch more who agree with you but are scared. Good luck to you!

[–] Foxen [OP] 32 points (+32|-0)

Thank you! I was actually shocked to see someone who has been generally cultified by her daughter like this. She may change her status later, though.

[–] IrishTheFrenchie 14 points (+14|-0)

She may not have put 2+2 together and realized that opting out of womanhood = enbys/theys

[–] sicktodeath 30 points (+30|-0)

Proud of you! I made my first GC post a few days ago. Terrifying and exhilarating! It had very low engagement. I suspect Facebook shadowbans such posts.

[–] SueGen 16 points (+16|-0)

It's also possible that others are deathly afraid to have the conversation.

[–] BathMat 4 points (+4|-0)

in my experience it's this, you might get private messages of agreement

[–] Foxen [OP] 15 points (+15|-0)

I think you might be on to something! I had a long convo with one person who objected, and the comments were not appearing. I typed 'For some reason, Facebook is not displaying my comments, which are not hate speech," and they eventually returned. Weird. Coincidence?

[–] Foxen [OP] 27 points (+27|-0)

I have only had pushback thus far from one woman: "We can show girls that it is okay to be a girl any way they want too and show boys that they can be a boy anyway they want to without invalidating those who feel that those binary identities don’t work for them. I don’t think these ideas are mutually exclusive."

Me: Thanks! I appreciate the comment. Here's the bit I struggle with: if all expressions of girl are good, and all expressions of boy are good, what is the necessity for the other?

In the end, she had nothing to say to that and thanked me for the conversation.

I keep seeing other people starting to type and then backing off again (the old visible ellipses). Right now, 12 people have expressed solid positive reactions and they are all women.

I don't think it will stay this positive, TBH. I recently moved out of a town that is fully captured (where I acquired most of the friends on my list), and if you add theatre and (retired membership in) Specific Woman's Sport Now Infested to that... I'm putting on the face shield.

Thank you all for your support!

[–] [Deleted] 9 points (+9|-0)

Even if you get shade for your words, you've acted with integrity and bravery. That emboldens others who can't speak up yet and gives them hope. You've done a great thing.

[–] Flaneuse 1 points (+1|-0)

She’s advocating for men and women to have a non-binary expression of gender but then also trying to claim this doesn’t immediately invalidate “non-binary” as a separate identity.

[–] Kerihobo 13 points (+13|-0)

Good luck. At worst you'll learn who your friends are. I was oblivious to all this TRA stuff until I shared a post about Hubbard cos men in women's olympics wtf?? 4 people commented immediately to say "Trans Women Are Women" which seemed a bit cult-like... I since found it is, and well here I am. I've also tidied up my friendlist since too. I kept friends who replied to me with a bit of respect, you know, saying they disagree and having an actual conversation about it. These TWAW prick can fuck right off though.

[–] sconsolato 12 points (+12|-0)

You are certainly far more brave than I am. I deactivated my FB years ago, but I know I wouldn't be brave enough to post that if I still had it. Fantastic job!

[–] lucretiamott forestgender 12 points (+12|-0)

Yesss so proud of you! It's not easy but it will make a difference.

[–] Mother-of-Rats 11 points (+11|-0)

I found the same thing when I “came out” on Facebook as gender critical.

Crickets…

I think it’s easy to forget that normies exist and that not everyone is hip deep in gender bullshit.

[–] Foxen [OP] 12 points (+12|-0)

I have a few people who have since appeared to make comment. They want to agree with me, but they also really, really want everyone to know that they Definitely Don't. Weird as hell. If nothing else, the cognitive dissonance of people trying to simultaneously claim that they think gender roles are bullshit while pleading that gender roles are Super Valid because of Feelingsmay make others peak.

[–] Tq231442 10 points (+10|-0)

I went full TERF on my social media. Fuck it lol. People know how progressive I am for almost everything and I'm pregnant so people cut me a little slack methinks.

I admire your courage for speaking out on this so close to home. I'm feeling a lot of this, with some of the coolest and most kickass women I've ever known coming out as NB, and as someone who staunchly refuses to hop aboard this bandwagon in my dang 30s, it hurts. It DOES feel like they're throwing women under the bus by adamantly identifying out of the category.

Load more (6 comments)