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Why choose to define people based on whether or not they conform to the roles placed upon based on their biological sex? If you defy the stereotypes, you're trans? And if you conform, you're cis? How bout we just say fuck that and stop defining people based off stereotypes?

There's no cis or trans gender. There's males and females with all sorts of unique personalities and styles.

Why choose to define people based on whether or not they conform to the roles placed upon based on their biological sex? If you defy the stereotypes, you're trans? And if you conform, you're cis? How bout we just say fuck that and stop defining people based off stereotypes? There's no cis or trans gender. There's males and females with all sorts of unique personalities and styles.

8 comments

[–] banjo 15 points (+15|-0)

I think people just don't want to think of their 'gender' as a role they're conforming to. They want there to be an 'inner gender essence' or else they get sort of creeped out.

[–] Laurel 17 points (+17|-0) Edited

People don't? I'd say it's mostly men who don't want to question a system that benefits them. I've mentioned teaching a college course with a "gender emphasis" before. (I made it as much about feminism as I could.) When it came time to discuss gender as sex roles, the women said yes, they had had to learn "what it is to be a woman" from the women and the world around them. But the men, and I mean every one of them, insisted they were not taught "how to be a man" by their dads or anyone else: They were BORN knowing how to mow the lawn and talk over women, and that was that.

It's my belief that it's mostly men who insist that gender is NOT a role they conform to, but a magic fairy that sits in their heads. It's men I see online insisting the gender fairy orders them to be less manly, literally forcing them to forget how to do math and to cry and all that other stupid crap you'll catch men on estrogen saying. I'm sure some women make similar claims, but I'll bet they don't do it in such numbers with such a sense of entitlement.

[–] banjo 13 points (+13|-0)

You're right, men take the gender being super innate position a lot more consistently. Most women have a more nuanced position on it, and acknowledge that the more superficial markers of femininity like heels and makeup do not come naturally.

[–] Laurel 13 points (+13|-0)

But accepting reality wouldn't allow men to destroy women's spaces, or put on make-up without worrying about whether they're gay, or demand all women's energy and attention in a New Special Way that bumps them to the head of the line in front of the other men, or claim not to be sexist, or holler about "violence" whenever a woman disagrees with them.

Like everything men do, they do it because it benefits them and to Hades with everyone else.

It also wouldn't allow women this wonderful new way of being the Chill Girl and demanding rights without changing anything about the way rights are distributed and by whom, but I think that's a much smaller problem--a bug, not a feature.

[–] Unruly_Rose 11 points (+11|-0)

That's the dream isn't it? I think we got really close and now we're facing pushback. I'm in my early thirties, so I was a kid in the 90's and the impression I got was that I could be whatever I wanted to be. Then reality hit me in the face. Life is so much harder than I thought it was going to be as a kid.

I think it makes sense that people naturally fall into groups with others who think similarly, and styles tend to develop in those in-groups between members then often get assimilated into the larger group and become less meaningful in our current hyper connected age. We're all signalling things to others with how we dress, groom, and behave, intentionally or not.

I would love to see a world where people are truly free to express themselves (within reason, not harming others). I think that would be a better way, because it would benefit the widest range of people.

[–] NotCis 7 points (+7|-0)

It's too bad because there was a way to celebrate gender non-conformity before - like women blasting through professional barriers or engaging in activities they had typically been denied access to. Now it's all "are you sure you're not NB?" and worse. I'm shocked I haven't gotten asked that yet since I don't wear make-up, my personal style is more utilitarian/outdoor-ready, and I engage in a lot of stereotypically male activities. So glad I grew up before the worst of the gender woo so I could actually feel confident living my life this way.