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Transphobia is against the rules here. It’s not okay to use the “t-word” or any other slur against the TIM’s. I get why we have those rules.

Meanwhile I’ve seen so many comments from precious and valid trans women on Reddit calling us cunts and telling us to kill ourselves. Reddit doesn’t consider those comments harassment. They cry and whine about how high the suicide rate is for trans people but think it’s alright to tell people to off themselves. They will never be women nor will they ever stop being triggered. It’s pathetic.

Edit: subject should have said too nice lol

Transphobia is against the rules here. It’s not okay to use the “t-word” or any other slur against the TIM’s. I get why we have those rules. Meanwhile I’ve seen so many comments from precious and valid trans women on Reddit calling us cunts and telling us to kill ourselves. Reddit doesn’t consider those comments harassment. They cry and whine about how high the suicide rate is for trans people but think it’s alright to tell people to off themselves. They will never be women nor will they ever stop being triggered. It’s pathetic. Edit: subject should have said too nice lol

64 comments

[–] FedUp12345 43 points (+43|-0)

There is a huge double standard and it is exhausting. I've never cared much for being nice. I don't care if I'm offensive. But a lot of women care and feel that they have to tip toe or preface what they say with an apology or warning. Fuck that. On the other hand I do understand that women feel we need to take the "high road" to show everyone that we're not actually transphobic. We aren't, but we are also tired. So yes the entire thing is very exhausting. Having to tip toe a fine line and keep our words in check when we are angry and frustrated so we aren't painted as bad girls.

[–] GoodGoneGirl [OP] 10 points (+11|-1)

Where are the normal trans women though? I don’t see many of them. Is the “loud minority” actually the majority?

[–] FedUp12345 6 points (+6|-0)

I'm not sure what you mean by "normal". I'm simply saying that it's always women who have to police their speech and behaviors for other people and it's exhausting.

By normal I mean not hateful misogynists. It’s seems like they are the minority. I agreed with what you wrote btw. But after being told to kill myself and being called a pedophile out of nowhere (lol) I think I’m done caring about trans rights. Those guys will have to fight their own fight instead of trying to make themselves a feminist issue.

There aren’t any. They ate by definition abusive males forcing their fantasy on all around them.

[–] pennygadget -3 points (+3|-6)

Where are the normal trans women though? I don’t see many of them.

They exist. But they're pariahs in the trans & woke communities because they believe sex matters and toddlers shouldn't be labeled as "trans". Miranda Yardley & Blaire White are good examples

I was hoping that the majority would be like that. It doesn’t seem to be the case though.

[–] NewMa 15 points (+16|-1)

I think they don't want to turn this into a complete shit show when they turn it onto the public, tbh. This isn't a woman-only space, and it's not going to be a GC-only space forever. Once the invitation system goes away, there goes the neighborhood.

Re: the language we use/are not allowed to use -- I don't think it's about us, I think it's about the perception of us on the internet. If you really want to say whatever the hell you want about trans people, Kiwifarms is the way to go.

No I’m just angry right now. I like this place because it’s not full of hate. I seen all of TRA’s shit before but I never engaged with them myself until now. Reddit really brings out my hatred for the world lol.

[–] windrunner 5 points (+5|-0)

I truly understand where you're coming from. Like one user said, there's an awful double standard for things that normally people would consider actual hateful and misogynistic behavior coming from trans women and TRAs in general but that are now 'acceptable' as a form of 'activism for human rights' (if we put it that way). Things have become complete bonkers! I've came across several GC spaces and people are not even 1% as hateful as TRAs or trans women when it comes to women or lesbians. Also, there's always that whole gaslighting thing they love to do (just see JKR's example when she exposed that pipe bomb threat: "oh we don't condone death threats, but...") - it's always like that. We try to stay respectful in our questionings and debates while they resort to slurs, graphic rape threats and physical violence.

[–] hmimperialtortie 1 points (+1|-0) Edited

And the owners of the site. We’re still under surveillance, it seems.

[–] Threnody 13 points (+14|-1) Edited

I value discussion over name calling. I am glad Ovarit is like this. You can still call them what they are whether male or female and that is pretty huge on the internet right now.

[–] v_o_la 6 points (+6|-0)

Amen. There are places on the Internet where you can use whatever names you want, but there's no other place like Ovarit for woman-centered discussion of these issues. If you want Kiwi Farms, it's there. I think this niche is important and I like that it has its own character.

Of course but them telling me to kill myself is not having a discussion. Or calling me a pedophile or a cunt. Ovarit have discussions. On Reddit (and everywhere else) trans “women” are harassing and threatening us. They aren’t interested in having a discussion, they just want us to shut up. I want to respond in the same way because I also get angry and upset. The reason I don’t is because unhinged men fucking scare me.

[–] Threnody 3 points (+3|-0)

I do dislike the double standard on Reddit and Twitter as well. If they can say heinous shit I don't know why they come down so hard on people saying things I find tame. We are living through a really weird time and free speech is suffering. I don't know what is driving this bullshit gender train. It may be partially that TRA and trans people are extremely online types.

I mainly just appreciate that Ovarit is civil as I find other social media to be stressful in the way people behave.

[–] ixora 12 points (+12|-0) Edited

I find that most (mostly younger) women, including myself, are terrified of being hurt, no matter how they identify. If they've been hurt by a man once or know someone who has they try everything in their power to make sure it doesn't happen. What I see this being translated into is this overt 'niceness', one that is so ingrained in female culture, that not being a 'nice', 'sweet' woman is borderline the same as being the worst sort of man. I've noticed different types of niceness that women have, genuine niceness, My job needs me to be nice to this man niceness, this man has me cornered and really wants to sleep with me and I don't know what to do niceness, I don't like this woman 'catty' niceness. Men are allowed to be way more direct with their words. Where women on equal playing field with other women being 'catty' (being nice to a woman face to face and then going behind her back and talking about her) is seen as awful, while men bickering with themselves and calling each other childish names is known as playful banter. It's ridiculous.

[–] ciorafinska 11 points (+11|-0)

I don't object to the rules here around slurs, but someone just got warned for dehumanising language for saying Hubbard looked like a pig. I find it a bit ridiculous that we can't say a man looks like a pig.

[–] [Deleted] 6 points (+6|-0) Edited

Makes me wonder if we'd be allowed to say "male chauvinist pig". It's a bit archaic now, but was legit feminist lingo back in the day.

I’m half expecting “scrote” to be banned. But that can refer to all males, not just the transvestite brigade, so maybe not.

Yeah, I find that sort of warning over the top. Are we not to mock transvestite males at all? That goes too close to Be Kind! for my liking.

Haha well I got called a pedophile today for saying that women care about women’s sport. It’s quite a leap but maybe he was triggered so bad his brain malfunctioned? Or maybe he’s just a pervert because why the fuck would his mind even go there? Either way these are the stable geniuses claiming biology doesn’t matter.

[–] zuubat -2 points (+1|-3) Edited

someone just got warned ... for saying Hubbard looked like a pig.

Not my favorite reference, either, as pigs are lovely animals.

As for the rules here against slurs, I actually like them. Slurs and other vulgar language* are the ultimate form of lazy communication. It's good that we need to do a little brainwork when we are making our points.

*Not that I am unfond of the latter. As the mom of a TWA (teenager with attitude) I cherish the option to occasionally tell him to f--- right off!

[–] blackflag 9 points (+9|-0)

Yeah ovarit is great, but I am annoyed at having to be the "bigger person". These people wouldn't care if my body was dismembered and thrown in a dumpster, but I have to be the "bigger person"? Like I care about impressing people that don't care about me lol

[–] pennygadget 5 points (+5|-0)

Yeah ovarit is great, but I am annoyed at having to be the "bigger person". These people wouldn't care if my body was dismembered and thrown in a dumpster, but I have to be the "bigger person"?

Even when TRAs & TIMs are threatening to rape and murder us, we have to "Be Kind" and respect their precious feelings

Almost like we aren’t people with feelings too. How about these delicate little flowers deal with the fact that they’re men and nothing can change that. I think society needs to take responsibility here. This denial of biology and reality is getting to be too much.

[–] Hiru 8 points (+8|-0)

Even calling them "TIM and TIF" is hate speech and a bannable offense on reddit

but yeah, it's pretty annoying that you tell a TIM that he has nothing to do in women bathroom and you get banned for hate speech, but when you receive death, rape and other nasty threat and even doxxing, nothing happens to those people

The only time i got away with a very nasty text to a TIM was when this TIM posted about getting an erection because people called him "she" and he was wearing a dress, at his damn mother in law funeral, i guess maybe an admin thought this was too much as well

[–] Fpccgc 8 points (+9|-1)

A lot of women over at spinster refuse to use Ovarit because of its rules.

[–] RadfemBlack 12 points (+15|-3)

That’s just ridiculous.

[–] Tnetennba 2 points (+3|-1)

Right? I've accepted its not perfect, because nothing is. It's another tool in the toolbox, another chance to connect.

I don’t feel like there’s any need for slurs here. This site feels safe because it’s mostly women (or only women?). That’s why I chose to vent here instead of responding to the dickhead who told me to kill myself. Even online men scare me :(

Thanks, maybe I’ll check it out. I’m not saying the rules against transphobia is bad because of course it isn’t. I’m just tired of women having to be the bigger people all the time. And we do it to ourselves (at least I do).

[–] Fpccgc 3 points (+3|-0)

How do you define transphobia? Because I’m pretty sure every TIM in the first world would call this entire site transphobic. The fact that Ovarit limits its speech is bull. Calling a TIM by his porn category name is not transphobic.

Transphobia to me is when it comes from the same place as homophobia. Simply hating on gay people (I know most trans women aren’t gay but homophobes tend to group them together). I do find it ridiculous that they find things like TIM or transgendered to be slurs considering the vile shit I’ve seen from them today.

But yeah okay the t-word. It’s not something I’ve ever used but seriously they are going to be so sensitive while calling us cunts, whores, sluts etc? I just find it gross how they demand we respect them while they’re being so hateful to us. It’s okay to tell someone to kill themself but the t-word, that is just going to far. They call us hysterical but they are the most sensitive people I have ever seen.

And btw I haven’t used any slurs against them. But I’m feeling less and less sympathetic to their dysphoria. I’m tired of women having to be respectful when men aren’t. And I’m tired of how slurs against women are so accepted that it’s not even considered hate. Everyone is in agreement that the t-word is a slur. They just laugh at us when we ask them not to call us cunts. And then they tell us to stop being cunts.

I’d use Spinster if I could manage its format.

[–] pennygadget 1 points (+1|-0)

I’d use Spinster if I could manage its format.

Ditto. I WANTED to love it. But I'm not a fan of the Tumblr-y format

I can’t figure out how to see anything other than the initial page. I prefer the format here, it’s easy to navigate seeing specific posts. I have no interest in having to follow hashtags just to find things. I don’t do that even with Tumblr, I just follow blogs.

[–] LisbonMuse 1 points (+1|-0) Edited

I always equate spinster's format to Twitter's.

I’ve never used Twitter, I don’t care for the very short format and now it hardly seems worth it given it’s rabid pro-TIM stance.

[–] LisbonMuse 1 points (+1|-0) Edited

I'm on Spinster too and I've heard this argument for why some won't join this site. I actually didn't know Ovarit had all of these rules until I read them saying that. It's never affected me to date.

[–] pennygadget 4 points (+10|-6)

Part of me wishes sites like Ovarit would loosen the rules against "transphobic language" because we'll be treated as transphobic nazis (and called EVERY misogynistic slur in the book) no matter how kind we are. We might as well have some fun and use naughty language while we're at it.

Agree.

[–] Hyacinth 4 points (+6|-2)

I understand the point about female socialization but in this instance I think it's better that the site remain respectable and intellectual. To much vulgarity and euphemistic mockery would dumb down the quality of comments. The public comes to see what we have to say and it would make them think radfems have no substantive arguments or point besides mockery. This especially turns off the women we want to peak due to the same "be nice" socialization.

You can join kiwi farms or other protected bro spaces on Reddit for letting loose.

[–] levitation 2 points (+2|-0)

Men will always say the worst things possible about women online, then whine and cry when women dare point out their horrible behavior. You see it on FDS, too, where men really think getting called low value is on the same level as them sending rape and death threats. TIMs act like every other man, they just think they're woke.