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I'm quite disappointed to see women here who are supposedly "gender critical" dismiss this woman so readily when it came to her "obviously unhinged " blogs like are you serious?? You're embarrassing and this is part of the reason it's getting increasingly hard to call myself GC. She was being attacked even by the ones who proudly call themselves TERFs you'd think they'd understand her a bit, but all these labels apparently mean we're pacifist and throw other women under the bus when it's bad optics. She is still a woman who is standing up to this ideology her own way, who has been abused herself but I guess it doesn't matter because "she makes us look bad" incredible. Her writing style is powerful and her rage is what's needed and being angry and reading women like her being rightfully angry as well is what made me see this ideology for what it is and because I felt that rage myself as should all of us. I just hate the absolute lack of female solidarity when it's inconvenient, like not even trying to understand her perspective just immediately villainizing her so we could be perceived as "the good ones". I guess im just disillusioned by how quickly these GCs were to paint her as this violent monster & compare her to TRAS like wtf?? also calling her mentally unstable, schizophrenic …and these are supposed to be feminists the fucking irony

Btw I'm not even gonna delve into her sexual assaults which she apologized and took full responsibility for, and the whole porn industry that she took part in as I obviously condemn it

I'm quite disappointed to see women here who are supposedly "gender critical" dismiss this woman so readily when it came to her "obviously unhinged " blogs like are you serious?? You're embarrassing and this is part of the reason it's getting increasingly hard to call myself GC. She was being attacked even by the ones who proudly call themselves TERFs you'd think they'd understand her a bit, but all these labels apparently mean we're pacifist and throw other women under the bus when it's bad optics. She is still a woman who is standing up to this ideology her own way, who has been abused herself but I guess it doesn't matter because "she makes us look bad" incredible. Her writing style is powerful and her rage is what's needed and being angry and reading women like her being rightfully angry as well is what made me see this ideology for what it is and because I felt that rage myself as should all of us. I just hate the absolute lack of female solidarity when it's inconvenient, like not even trying to understand her perspective just immediately villainizing her so we could be perceived as "the good ones". I guess im just disillusioned by how quickly these GCs were to paint her as this violent monster & compare her to TRAS like wtf?? also calling her mentally unstable, schizophrenic …and these are supposed to be feminists the fucking irony Btw I'm not even gonna delve into her sexual assaults which she apologized and took full responsibility for, and the whole porn industry that she took part in as I obviously condemn it

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[–] Mikkal 28 points Edited

This is the "apology" she supposedly wrote - I could only find it referenced on a gossip site with no receipts (no archive, no screen shots).

She doesn't blame the victims here - she takes full responsibility. I have never seen a man take responsibility like this. Never.

I remember my father, after he'd been arrested, coaching me about "how he'd never done x" to me - he was lying through his teeth to protect his reputation, to prevent everyone - my mother, the police, our family from being aware of the full depravity of what he'd done.

I will say - she writes like a woman with PTSD. I don't say that to discredit her, to throw her under the bus, to diminish her in any way. I say it to acknowledge I've been there with her.

The monsters don't need to hurt all women. They need to hurt just enough of us to scare all the other women and keep us in line. To keep us afraid. A few women are the examples to everyone else - you don't have to have been personally hurt to be impacted by the violence against women. You're impacted to. You have a right to single sex spaces too.

Again - I can't find any proof she wrote it, but this is what everyone is passing around as her confession, if you want to read it.

I’m sorry, everyone. I have let you all down.

I’ve always hooked up with girls at porn parties and conventions, frequently on camera, in front of witnesses. I did this because I thought it was wanted, and that girls enjoyed it. The cameras enjoyed it, anyway. It was an organic thing at first. I did it before I was even really in porn and was a piece of how I got in. As the years wore on, I started to feel obligated to do it. It was my “thing”. The cameras would follow me around and I would get up to my usual hijinks. I tweeted about this. I posted pictures on social media. I didn’t conceptualize any of this as assualt, or I wouldn’t have done it much less promoted it.

Eventually, I started to hear complaints, through the grapevine. No one said anything to my face, but people complained to each other, and eventually it made it’s way to me without names or details that some girls didn’t appreciate the bathroom trips. I felt thrown, because I had thought of these as mutually pleasurable activities. My thinking was warped – I thought I was so good at reading people that I could tell when girls wanted it. I lived to get girls off. I thought of myself as being a good person. I wanted to stand for sexual freedom, not sexual coercion. I thought was on the side of the light. I have failed.

I’m deeply embarrassed by these revelations. I did not want to be evil. I remember the incidents with Jasmine Summers, Honey Gold and Maren. I misread the situations so completely that it came as a shock to me that these girls experienced them as assaults. I was aware of some situations where I’d crossed lines, but I didn’t know that these were among them. I didn’t know they felt violated by me. I feel gross about it. I feel stupid. I tweeted about all of these girls, posting photos of Honey and video of Maren. I gave them my number afterwards. I wasn’t ashamed about this, because I didn’t think there was anything to be ashamed of.

I feel ashamed now. I thought that that girls went along with me because they enjoyed it, but they did it because they felt like they couldn’t say no. I thought it was all in fun, but it wasn’t. I played a sexual predator in movies, but it was supposed to be tongue in cheek. I thought of myself as someone who helped girls in the business, not preyed on them. I thought of myself as an artist, not a monster. On the same party bus where Maren says I ruined her Exxotica, I shoved Ron Jeremy for refusing to back off from trying to get in some lesbian action. At another party, I broke Max Hardcore’s nose. I thought I was better than porn’s serial gropers, but I guess I was just the female of the species.

I’m deeply sorry for the way that I made these girls feel. I’m sorry to anyone I have hurt. I engaged in so much “partying” – I don’t know how much of it was ok and how much of it was damaging. I knew I had gotten lost in my persona and had been taking steps to come out of it and get treatment for my mental health. I had already stopped the substance use and the public sex, but it was too late. I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. I can’t take it back, and I don’t expect to be forgiven. I’m seeing a lot of warnings about staying away from me. You don’t have to stay away from me. I will be staying away. I will not be attending the award shows this season. You have nothing more to fear from me. This “party” is over.

If you have been harmed by me and wish to talk to me about it, I am here to listen and make amends if possible.