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If the transgender movement had drawn clear lines in the sand, that they were not willing to cross:

  • no one is forced to use certain pronouns for transgendered people
  • the words men and women clearly assigned based on sex
  • no medicalisation whatsoever of minors
  • protection of women only spaces/categories (shelters, changing rooms, sports, prisons,...)
  • no changing of sex on legal documents
  • chosing medical transition as a last resort
  • accepting that hetero/homosexuality are clearly linked to sex and not gender (while of course sexual attraction based on gender expression would not be discriminated against either)

While at the same time they would be very actively promoting acceptance of transgender identity in society. Working for protections of trans people, representation of trans people, mental health support, ...

Where would you be on the trans issue then?

I personally would definitely be an active supporter. Particularly because I would see it as a movement that is helpful in weakening gender restrictions, which I would love.

If the transgender movement had drawn clear lines in the sand, that they were not willing to cross: - no one is forced to use certain pronouns for transgendered people - the words men and women clearly assigned based on sex - no medicalisation whatsoever of minors - protection of women only spaces/categories (shelters, changing rooms, sports, prisons,...) - no changing of sex on legal documents - chosing medical transition as a last resort - accepting that hetero/homosexuality are clearly linked to sex and not gender (while of course sexual attraction based on gender expression would not be discriminated against either) While at the same time they would be very actively promoting acceptance of transgender identity in society. Working for protections of trans people, representation of trans people, mental health support, ... **Where would you be on the trans issue then?** I personally would definitely be an active supporter. Particularly because I would see it as a movement that is helpful in weakening gender restrictions, which I would love.

69 comments

5 years ago I was in the "I don't care what they do as long as they keep it to themselves" camp. I knew nothing about the issues because they didn't affect me, and I had other things to worry about. Then my partner decided he was trans, and it fucked with my head but I tried to be supportive. After a period of time when he said that he wasn't trans, then he suddenly was again after our second child was born and was now on hormones I peaked properly so now I'm transphobic.

I'm not sure if I would even be here if all that had never happened. I probably would still not really care about trans stuff at all except for being mildly supportive of a person's choice to live how they want.

You probably already know, but there is a website called’transwidows voices’ when others who have gone through this tell their stories

Not sure if it’s right for you

We may even have a circle here. If not we should

Thanks, I know about it and the Mumsnet thread. There isn't a circle here yet.