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38 comments

[–] Hera 71 points

It will never cease to confuse me when 30 year old women hop on the nonbinary cult train. Kids I totally get, but omg girl, you're 30, go outside and touch grass.

[–] [Deleted] 45 points Edited

All of these grown-ass women identifying as non-binary crack me up. Is it peter pan syndrome amongst female millennials? I'm in my mid-thirties and I see so many women my age and older do this shit - and many with children! I'm hoping all these middle-aged NB women hasten the demise of this shit by tanking its cool factor. There's nothing less cool than middle-aged women doing things and that goes double for middle-aged mothers.

[–] Gladys_Kravitz 28 points Edited

It makes sense. Our generation is missing out on a lot of social landmarks that broadcast our "adulthood". We see articles every other day about how much Millennials are killing X industry, they still talk about us like little kids despite being in our 30s and early 40s.

So many of my peers still haven't gotten their actual careers, they've been stuck at entry level since 2008. And now companies pick the younger Gen Z people when they do hire. There are a LOT of social problems with our generation.

We listened to what we were told growing up, and all of that advice failed us. We now don't know what to do.

Collectively our generation is stuck at 18-20 years old because that's when the trauma happened, the 2008 recession.

This. And don't know how it stacks up to how other generations handle coming to terms with aging, but a lot of us seem to be mid-panic about it on a pretty regular basis. Maybe because it's expected that young adults will take some time to find their footing, but when you lose the "young" and you're just an adult who hasn't figured out how to (or been able to) pull your life together, that stops working as an excuse. So many of us seem to be waiting around wondering when we're going to finally be grown-ups, and missing the part where growing up is something you do yourself (and have no idea how).

I think you've nailed it. I'm helping a friend try to finally launch a career now in her mid-30s, and the recession absolutely killed her confidence when it comes to being able to provide for herself and get hired somewhere that'll respect her abilities. My other friend is about the same age and finally has bought a house and is getting away from her roommate, who is on the edge of 40 and still not making enough to afford a place by herself after being with her company for over 5 years. We live in an area with a decent amount of jobs and the cost of living isn't outrageous, but it's still a struggle. My youngest millennial friend is still in her late 20s. She has much more confidence about getting hired for jobs and taking risks. An odd issue, though, is that she and her other similarly-aged friends have almost no interest or experience with dating. They're not far off from 30, but focused almost entirely on their careers. I think she's had one date that I'm aware of in the last 5 years, and it was something she did out of obligation for a friend. Everyone in the Millennial cohort are kind of having problems, honestly.

I hope this all blows over by the time my kids (all pre-K) come of age. In case it doesn’t, I absolutely plan to kill the cool by coming out hard and cringe as NB.

“Look at my new short haircut! No, it’s not ‘Karen’, it’s nonbinary. It’ll look so adorbs with my bow-tie and affected smirk with my hands jauntily shoved into my boy-pants pockets! Honey can you and zir sister please take a photo for FACEBOOK so we can show all of our family friends how we’re #twinning?! Dope!”

my ex was 31 when she started identifying as nonbinary...

[–] Hera 17 points

Ah. Mine was close to 30 when she started id-ing as a "transmasc nonbinary" so I feel you deeply. All the hugs and solidarity to you.

Just out of curiosity, had she previously showed any sign of Gender dysphoria while you were together? Or were your circle of friends and associates also doing this?

Not the person you asked but one of my best friends from school (now 30) came out as NB, we chatted for a little bit about it.

She never had any previous signs of gender dysphoria growing up. I’d describe her as “soft butch”. She has one sibling (her brother) and her mum and dad are both only children so she did have the “girly” identity pushed on her hard as a kid. She’s always identified as bisexual but I’ve always believed she’s actually a lesbian. She had a short relationship with a very wierd man (he had an adult baby diaper wearing fetish) and she never seemed crazy into him, she’s only ever dated women since then.

I always wondered if her “gender issue” was more because she’s a lesbian and struggling with the pressure of being the only granddaughter and only daughter in a fairly traditional family that hard pushed her gender role on her as a child. Like if she’s not a girl then it doesn’t matter if she dates girls, right? She can’t be a classic bride because she’s not a girl and girls don’t wear dresses.

I have a cousin do this after she discovered she was gay in her thirties.

She's always been a total flake.

[–] womenopausal witchbabe🧙‍♀️👶 10 points

My theory: they see their first crowsfoot, and they realise what it's going to be like to age as a woman, especially in an industry where appearance is very important. The intersection of ageism and sexism is particularly nasty (eg, man being rude about JKR's boobs this morning.)

I wonder if these women are struggling with hitting 30 and are desperate to appear young and cool.

Please, someone put me out of my own misery if I turn into this person

Load more (2 comments)

I think she's a lesbian so it's more damage and less "omg not like other gurls". This seems to be a pattern with very rich homosexuals like Gregory (Gigi) Gorgeous and Nats Getty. They have all the money in the world and no one wants to tell them "no" or be honest with them. Every decision they make is met with a "yass queen".

Side note, she looks uncannily like Elon Musk.

[–] Tesserae_Tali 1 points Edited

Oh, for fuck's sake. I have some sympathy if she's struggling with internalized homophobia, but I have to roll my eyes at a grown-ass adult booking a one-way ticket to the Land of Make-Believe. This ain't Pinnochio, ma'am; there are no fairy godmothers and you'll never be a real boy. (Although I guess she knows that if she's identifying as non-binary; I think a decent proportion of female enbies stop short of identifying as transmen because they're not quite good enough at self-deceit.)

Couldn’t read the link. Is this the former Abigail Disney? If so, dammit. She seemed like a good one and a rare voice of sanity in the Disneyverse.

[–] ProxyMusic 15 points Edited

No, Abigail Disney is pushing 70. This person is the 30-year-old daughter of Roy and Sheri Disney, so a niece of Abigail's. Abigail lives in NYC, Roy and Sheri live in LA, aka tinsel town - one of the worst places in the US for girls and women who don't fit narrow, regressive sex stereotypes as typified by movie starlets, porn stars and the kind of women seen on the Real Housewives television shows.

Being "queer" and "LGBTQ+" is supposedly celebrated in LA/Hollywood, at least superficially, but being an actual lesbian is not. In fact, being an ordinary woman of any sexuality in LA is uncool.

aka tinsel town - one of the worst places in the US for girls and women who don't fit narrow, regressive sex stereotypes as typified by movie starlets, porn stars and the kind of women seen on the Real Housewives television shows.

Ain't that the truth. I grew up in LA and the demands placed on appearance there are insane.

Didn't want to open a new post for this...

"There have been gay people whether or not the word was ever spoken," Disney said. "It denies the fact that everyone, conservative or not, has a gay friend or a transgender family member." - Abigail Disney

Jfc. If you are going to use 'or' that way, you can just say things like "everyone, conservative or not, has a gay friend or a a purple horse that defies gravity"