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51 comments

[–] UngodlyFruit 68 points (+68|-0)

"My hate for my body is deep but this entire issue made it even deeper."

Why do I have a feeling that this isn't going to go away after they get their bottom surgery.

[–] SamuraiGhostCat 66 points (+66|-0)

“Dysphoria” is such a first world problem. There’s a big lesson in life: accepting the things you cannot change. But trans people apparently don’t have to learn that lesson (unlike every other body image disorder like anorexia and body dysmorphia).

It makes me so sad that she hates her female anatomy this much, and that she cannot mentally cope with it. These people NEED therapists (not “affirming” ones, therapists that actually help people confront their issues and heal).

[–] salty-tomorrow 36 points (+36|-0) Edited

It’s so strange to me that they talk about their “dysphoria” like it’s a normal thing to have. To hate your body to the point of depression and then instead of thinking, “maybe I should challenge these disruptive thought processes with therapy,” it’s like an entry ticket. Now you get to join the cool “trans” club and attempt to bend reality to your will.

[–] feralfeminist 8 points (+8|-0)

Yeah, that's just it. I keep trying to explain this to my daughter. It isn't a "normal thing you have because you're trans," it runs counter to good mental and physical health. You know, part of the problem is stupid kids not knowing what it means to have surgery. Kiddo had surgery when she was almost two but was too young to remember. But the pain, the nerve damage -- sometimes permanent, I had a stone removed from a saliva gland beneath my tongue and still have a numb spot on that side of my tongue seven or eight years later -- and the stuff not necessarily turning out like you wish it would (revisions are so commonly needed after cosmetic surgery that the more ethical surgeons offer them for free), etc., none of that is small potatoes. And do they even have the talk in schools anymore about what steroids do to you?

[–] womenopausal 7 points (+7|-0)

But the pain, the nerve damage -- sometimes permanent

I think about that a lot. I still get grief from my episeotomy scar and the cause of it (apart from the pushy doctor who performed it without warning or permission) is now a 6 foot tall teenage girl doing her GCSEs. I still get grief from the tiny surgical excision scar of a bartholin cyst I had done 30 years ago (mainly because it's clitoris-adjacent.)

Imagine thinking that genitals can be radically restructured and still be fully functional. Imagine thinking it would improve your sex life.

[–] JLeGuin 3 points (+3|-0)

ugh the whole how dare they take 2 days to get my results back to me thing...

[–] Suffrajitsu 1 points (+1|-0)

I will say, though, that I have more sympathy for those who transition out of this kind of dysphoria than those who transition because it turns them on or because they want to know if the ladies' room really is made out of glitter.

[–] fae 54 points (+54|-0) Edited

I probably shouldn't make fun of someone in such obvious distress, but: "I have a girlfriend, there's no way I'm pregnant at all" hmm seems terfy to me 🤔

In all seriousness, this post made me start thinking again about how wild all this is. Just a few decades ago, transgenderism (then transsexuality) was almost unheard of, and now we have so many people in genuine anguish regarding their biological sex– sure, it's social contagion, but it's manifesting through actual mental suffering. For everyone's sakes, I really can't wait for this fad to die like previous diagnostic trends have before.

[–] BurnBooker 11 points (+11|-0)

Super terfy to assume your girlfriend's clit can't ejaculate.

[–] meranii 3 points (+3|-0)

It's funny how often they forget to be inclusive in their own use of language, but everyone else is hounded daily.

[–] somegenerichandle 30 points (+31|-1)

Interesting. I'm glad her doctor ordered a biopsy, and oddly glad that she's moved the hysterectomy. Obviously we cannot know what caused a mass, but i doubt cross-sex hormones are going to help. I haven't had anything like this happen with me, but i'd suspect feeling anger that your body let you down would be normal.

[–] Carrots90 32 points (+32|-0)

Not to be insensitive but I feel it is she who let her body down.

It’s tragic that society doesn’t push ‘loving your body’ as an action verb.

In the age of gender dysphoria and instagram, loving your body is all about looks and what other people think of it.

It’s not about actively loving, respecting, and keeping your body healthy. Even the word’healthy’ is conflated with appearance. The Rock and some supermodels are unhealthy examples of what I mean.

She signed up for a lifetime of cross sex hormones and is getting unneeded surgeries. We don’t know what happens when you suppress the hormones you are supposed to have and replace them with high levels of T. We don’t know the full extent of what breasts and ovaries and uteri do for us. You aren’t supposed to have menopause in your 20’s. (I don’t know her age) .

[–] hedy 19 points (+20|-1)

Personally, I suspect that the counter-narrative to "love your body" is doing a lot of harm, because its natural extreme is that you don't love love loooove your body, then you are bad and wrong and need anything from therapy to surgery to fix this. Being surrounded on social media and/or in real life by people who claim to love love loooove their bodies cannot possibly help.

What I think is the proper, rational narrative and is absent from most places, is that a just fine body is just fine. You didn't choose your body, you're never going to think it's perfect, and you'll have plenty of opportunities to dislike it even more as you age, but trying to stamp out all its imperfections is a losing battle that will harm your mind and is not unlikely to harm your body too. A battle you can win, however, is the battle for accepting that having an imperfect body is a 100% guaranteed aspect of human life, taking the best care of that imperfect body you can and going along with the ride.

[–] Carrots90 12 points (+12|-0)

I feel like it should be an active verb, to love your body. I’m not sure of I explained what I meant

‘I’m going to exercise responsibly to keep my body healthy’. I’m going to honor it by safely exerting my self.

‘I’m gonna put good food into it.‘

‘ I’m gonna appreciate that it gets me where I want to go and helps me do what I want to do”

“ If there’s imperfections or disabilities,I’m going to still love my body, like I would love a child who had imperfections or disabilities.“

[–] feralfeminist 3 points (+3|-0) Edited

I think the idealizing of love as always a happy, positive emotional kind of thing is the real problem here. Love doesn't mean you're happy all the time. It does include sticking with the person you love through thick and thin and even with their imperfections. The same is true of loving yourself!

(A note: I'm aware people use something similar to what I just said to justify guilting an abused person into staying with their abuser partner. That's not what I'm talking about here, though. You can be unhappy with someone or with a situation without actual abuse going on.)

[–] jelliknight 6 points (+6|-0)

We do know that testosterone causes the uterus to atrophy and causes pain. Not really shocked that it's causing other problems too. Honestly, she signed up for this. She knew the risks (or could have known) and chose to take them on. You don't feel bad for people who're doing exactly what they want to be doing.

[–] JLeGuin 5 points (+5|-0)

Yeah that these people are completely oblivious to there being no long term studies to this wildly unnatural and untested process is.... bad. Like where did they get the idea that this would be exactly what they wanted and have no complications or issues come from?

[–] Carrots90 4 points (+4|-0)

Deny biology and see if it doesn’t bite you in the ass (or elsewhere)

[–] Jellyfishes 24 points (+24|-0)

If the cross-sex hormones are what caused the mass in the uterus, they might cause trouble in other organs too, no?

[–] somegenerichandle 13 points (+13|-0)

I donno. We need more research, or at least we shouldn't be promoting these drugs without more research. Additionally, there is scant research on how drugs interact. How is her IUD (she doesn't call it that, but i think that's what she means)which they put in in hopes that it would stop the some of the bleeding, going to interact with synthetic testosterone? (rhetorical)

[–] hedy 2 points (+2|-0)

Tough to get that research though without more procedures and more data. Once, in order to get a testosterone cream for a skin problem (better drugs than testosterone have been developed to treat this condition, but none of them worked for me), I had to go to a compounding pharmacy not covered by my health insurance and pay for it unaided, because my insurer flat-out refused to cover testosterone cream in women. (Perhaps this does not apply to those who transition. Never asked.) Side note: I had a bad reaction to the testosterone cream, although I also turned out not to have the suspected condition after all.

As far as I know, cross-sex hormone therapy is not currently prescribed ever for any condition other than gender dysphoria, though I don't know for sure. In any case, I don't think there are many people from whom the relevant data can be gathered, other than trans people. Contrast this with collection of data on drug use in another insufficiently studied situation, pregnancy. Much of that data is gathered from women who continued taking medicines for however long until they learned they were pregnant. There is nothing accidental about prescribing cross-sex hormones. Whatever the reasoning, basically, people in mental distress are being treated as guinea pigs. (But, sure, this is hate speech.)

[–] ramani 16 points (+16|-0)

I wonder whether all the excess testosterone was what caused the mass?

When I was a preteen going through puberty, I had an androgen disorder that I didn’t know about (these things were very uncommon and relatively unknown back in the day), and I ended up having a massive ovarian cyst that could not be obliterated naturally, and resulted in my entire ovary getting removed. To this day nobody knows whether the excess T caused the cyst or vice versa.

With this TiF, if it’s the T that’s causing the issues, then she may end up in worse medical straits than she’s in now. But of course, hormones are “completely harmless”, as per the TRA propaganda.🙄

At this point I sometimes think it’s not even worth getting angry about. At the risk of sounding cold and unfeeling (and I am neither, just exhausted), I think she made her own bed, so to speak, and will now have to deal with it.

[–] Verdandi 17 points (+17|-0) Edited

Completely anecdotal so don't take this as a fact, but when I was younger I also had excess testosterone, low estrogen, and relatively high progesterone + Mirena IUD (which gave me even more godawful progesterone).

I had cysts like CRAZY. Tons of them suddenly appeared all over my ovaries, some of the grew quite large and then would burst, sending me to the hospital where I would get ignored and called a malingerer—despite the massive amounts of extreme pain that a burst cyst causes. I went to the hospital 6 times in 2 years for burst cysts.

Weirdly enough a bunch of cysts showed up elsewhere. My breasts became really REALLY cystic, like a bag of marbles. Cysts showed up all over my head, some on my neck, and a few random ones elsewhere.

I decided to remove the Mirena and now a few years later I've had ZERO cysts, not a single new one has grown. I don't know why this happened, neither do my doctors and but I still blame the hormones. I can't think of any other reason a hundred or so cysts would magically show up all at once.

[–] jelliknight 2 points (+2|-0)

Weird hormones are normal when you're young, just starting to cycle, and your body is finding its level. Like learning to ride a bike, shits wobbly at first. Doctors "treat" it with hormonal contraceptives which just fucks it up worse for longer.

[–] ramani 0 points (+0|-0)

I don’t think you’re wrong. There’s so much we don’t understand about how hormones affect women. I recall all kinds of different, inexplicable “effects” from my days of puberty. I developed large breasts, which no-one in my family has (and is very rare among the women in my culture); gained weight which has never disappeared, even though I used to be a thin, active child and to this day eat less than most thin people I know; excess facial hair that has never gone away; and, most damagingly, I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, which the doctor said has been there since childhood - only thing is, I don’t ever remember being inattentive and unfocused as a child except after puberty!

Hormones, I’m convinced, are dangerous when unbalanced/excessive in women. It’s one of the main reasons I’m so against transitioning children. I remember the hell I endured at puberty. I think transitioning children will subject to much worse than what I went through.😕

[–] AmyHousewine 7 points (+7|-0)

I'm with you. It's sad she chose to deal with her mental distress this way, but if you let your body be used as a guinea pig, you can't really be astonished that it sometimes ends poorly.

[–] kalina 14 points (+15|-1)

whew lad. There is clearly something mental going on if you can be so in denial about your body's biological functions. Clearly she knows that women menstruate, so why rush to the ER immediately. Kind of mad some doctor's time got wasted about this but like... damn she needs therapy

If you read further, her gender surgeon did a biopsy in her uterus and found a mass. So she was right to go to the ER for what probably seemed like an abnormal period which she also hadn’t had in eight years. To me that speaks less to a trans issue and more a male doctor blowing off a woman’s concern about her health as just being in her period and being stupid.

[–] hedy 23 points (+23|-0)

To me that speaks less to a trans issue and more a male doctor blowing off a woman’s concern about her health as just being in her period and being stupid.

You nailed it. Observe: calling yourself a man prevents no one from seeing and treating you as a hysterical little woman. (Side trivia: the term "hysterectomy" shares its roots with the word "hysteria". Ancient Greeks blamed many health issues in women unrelated to the genitals on a "wandering uterus". Just look how far we've come.)

I feel terrible for this person. On several levels I can't blame her for not wanting a woman's body.

[–] Srfthrowaway 9 points (+9|-0)

Did she tell the ER doc she was in chemical menopause? I don't think any of the trans identified patients I've seen have ever listed their cross-sex hormones on an intake form or med list. They don't seem to regard them as medications.

That said, "what was the first day if yiur last period" is a question you always always need to ask. I drill it into learners' heads over and over. You ask that question, she says 8 years ago, and it changes your entire approach. Ultrasound would have been done in ER.

[–] kalina 8 points (+8|-0)

hmm yea, true, but it doesn't seem like that's what she is complaining about. 'My hate for my body is deep but this entire issue made it even deeper.' Just makes me wonder how it must feel like to be so angry at your own body that having a medical issue makes you hate yourself yknow?

[–] Duchess 12 points (+12|-0)

In the end, the right choice was to go to the ER but people who choose to transition at least have to be aware of what organs they have internally...

[–] Willow9 9 points (+9|-0)

the fact that it was your uterus means nothing more to your gender than if it was your appendix. You’re just a person with an internal haemorrhage, except you’re in a better position than most because it’s in an organ you don’t need and won’t have for too much longer.

This comment really stands out to me. This comparison is such a stretch, the appendix is tiny evolutionary remnant most commonly known for its inflammation, whereas the female reproductive system is something entirety essential to us. Remove your uterus and ovaries and you're a women on menopause 30 years before your biological clock. There's a bigger cardiovascular risk, a decrease of bone density, the vulva will atrophy and get dry, the flow of blood and tonus will decrease in the pelvis muscles to the point urinary incontinence may happen or even prolapse of the rectum or bladder through the remains of the amputated vagina.

They're talking now about "unnecessary" organs now and major surgeries as if it isn't anything. We don't even know about the impact of long term use of testosterone and nobody cares about science at all. It's damaging to spread misinformation like this.

[–] feralfeminist 5 points (+5|-0)

Actually they've found that the appendix seems to be a storage vessel for gut bacteria, so it's not exactly useless.

But the uterus is even less useless. Even if you're not growing babies in it, it secretes hormones and it holds other organs up and it's important in female sexual response.

[–] Verdandi 9 points (+9|-0) Edited

It's fucking crazy how much work these people miss because they're so mentally unstable.

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