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10 comments

[–] A_Matriarch 8 points (+8|-0)

So goddamned gross and stupid. Glad she got him fired. He knows he would never do that to a man who paid him a polite compliment.

Right? They know the difference, but conveniently "forget" if they can pester a woman.

[–] KBash 5 points (+5|-0)

Judge was awesome!!! 🙌🏻

The judge really surprised me. Not just that he firmly ruled in the woman's favor (not falling for any of the man's deflections, including how she was polite to him afterwards), but openly condemning it, too. Some days I cry for this country of mine, and some days I think there might be hope.

[–] KBash 7 points (+7|-0)

I love that he called this sexual harassment of the worst kind, and said that a normal person would say “thank you” to a compliment on his beard and go about his day, and that only a pervert would act as he did, that there was nothing funny about his “joke,” and that indeed the man is a pervert. He just did not mince words, and it feels like in this day and age saying that a man is a pervert for sexually harassing or inappropriately touching or hitting on women is actually taboo and an unpopular opinion- it’s seen as normal, understandable, excusable, not that bad, the woman’s fault rather than what it is: deliberate, uncivilized, and perverted! Which the judge said!

This should not be a conservative opinion, either! It is perverse to treat women this way! We know all men want to kiss us all the time! We know! You do not do it, though! We are people, not objects! It is not an excusable mistake! They know damn well what they are doing! They are sexual terrorists who hold us hostage when we try to participate in public in any way, including having a job! That’s why there are workplace protections! It’s also terrible when men do this to us anywhere else! They are perverts who do not care that we are people!

One of the most alarming things is his “first white lady I’ve done this to” comment. I’m sure that he is black and she is white probably also played into the judge’s ruling; black men and white men should be viewed with equal condemnation when they behave this way, regardless of the race of their victim.

How many black women do you think that guy has done this to, who likely didn’t even bother to say anything out of despair?’

You're right: this dude has probably done this - and more - to black women. Aside from some influential politicians and some strong feminists or campaigners, most black women are still silenced. The ones coming up in wealth are probably starting to speak up, but this is a very patriarchal country - and not just for black women. It is, though, especially patriarchal for black women. For Indian - a group that is mostly Islam, but also has a large Hindu presence - itvs probably just as hard. So this guy thought he was probably upping his ante with a white woman. And he was probably depending on the system to take his side. This was my experience a while back (and why I said the previous):

During traffic, a car sloppily pulled into the lane baside me, and as I passed him, my side mirror bumped his. As the traffic was pushing me forward at that time, I continued on. Both mirrors were designed to flip back, after all. And the side road was much calmer. That's why, when a dude pulled up behind me, I was dumb enough to roll down my window. I smiled and told him I would pay for a new mirror (but I could see his was fine). He then started yelling at me, calling me a white fucking bitch, which stung. Not the slur, but his incredible anger at me. Saying I disrespected him.

Anyway, seconds later he leans into the car and pulls out my car keys (left+hand driving allows this). So I get out, asking him to give back my keys. He tells me I should do some nasty things to myself. Nobody stops to help me. I then take my phone and snap a picture of his car, the registration plates very visible, and tries to flag down someone. But this man keeps telling me - no, daring me - to go to the police, as they will never do anything to him, a black man, seeing as I am a white woman. I did go to the police (after he returned my key 10 minutes later, after driving off with them), and they took a statement that relied heavily on how I not-damaged his car, and then sent me on my way. As I looked back, I saw them dump my statement in the trash.

So, considering my own experience, and though I know most people just want to live their lives, I was very very pleased with this judge. This is truly fantastic.

But I also hope Ms S gets to talk to some of the black women this guy had assaulted in his life, and they get him sent to prison. Because he very probably had been hurting black women for a long time.

It also feels kinky creepy, doesn't it? He sounds young enough to have grown up mostly after apartheid, but the bad blood has not gone completely yet. So maybe his fetish is assaulting a white woman (someone he believes sees herself as superior and now he can humiliate her)? Both options freak me out, but if more judges are willing to put see every case on its own merits, we might stand some kind of chance.

[–] DrStrangelove 4 points (+4|-0)

Is anyone else bothered by the headline though? 'Hugged, kissed' sounds like it was consensual, shouldn't they at least acknowledge that it was forced?

English would have been the journalist's second or third language, in a country where most people read English as a second or third language. Some subtleties elude us at times.