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I’m watching my younger brothers go to homecoming with their dates right now. They seem to be having a great time and I’m really happy for them! I still view them as babies though so it does feel a bit weird. I also can’t help but feel a sliver of jealousy that they are able to do this.

I couldn’t even accept that I liked girls until graduating high school, and even then I waited another couple years to come out to my conservative family. They had some trouble accepting it. Just being able to date so young without any obstacles or consequences must be nice… I did go to homecoming and prom with my group of friends, but I still feel like it’s different.

Maybe I’m making hs dating out to be a bigger deal than it is, I always tend to romanticize things. It just feels like I’m missing an important experience that normal people had as teenagers.

I’m watching my younger brothers go to homecoming with their dates right now. They seem to be having a great time and I’m really happy for them! I still view them as babies though so it does feel a bit weird. I also can’t help but feel a sliver of jealousy that they are able to do this. I couldn’t even accept that I liked girls until graduating high school, and even then I waited another couple years to come out to my conservative family. They had some trouble accepting it. Just being able to date so young without any obstacles or consequences must be nice… I did go to homecoming and prom with my group of friends, but I still feel like it’s different. Maybe I’m making hs dating out to be a bigger deal than it is, I always tend to romanticize things. It just feels like I’m missing an important experience that normal people had as teenagers.

19 comments

I know what you mean. Sometimes I really regret not having those teen experiences. I know a lot of lesbian/gay people who feel the same -- for various reasons many of us feel like we missed out on a lot when we were teens/young adults. Maybe we were closeted, maybe we didn't know we were gay yet, maybe we were out but just couldn't act on it for one reason or another...but there's this feeling that you missed out on a whole chapter of life, and sometimes it can even make you feel like you're behind most of your peers, and it's hard to reckon with sometimes. I mean, I'm under no delusions that teen relationships are perfect or healthy or vital, and I know that a lot of people (including straight people) didn't date in high school, but it still kind of sucks to feel like you're behind or you missed out on something.

I definitely don't dwell on this stuff, but I sometimes feel a little twinge of it when I'm, say, watching a movie/show that depicts teen romance as this thrilling, once-in-a-lifetime sort of experience or when I'm among straight people reminiscing about their pasts. For the most part I'm fine -- we can have even more fulfilling and healthy relationships as adults, we should just focus on the present and the future, and it's okay if we're on a different timeline than others -- but I get where you're coming from.