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I've been trying to figure out what to do with my life since college graduation. Thinking it's going to be journalism and maybe teaching later on.

Interested to hear what you all do and what your career stories are... also if you're out at your job or not, and how you figured out or knew if you were going to tell coworkers.

At my current job - just something to pay the bills atm - I'm not really making an effort to really talk to people that much. Some of them seem conservative enough that I might feel like lying and saying I have a boyfriend if it comes up in conversation... annoyingly had to turn down a couple numbers from weirdo men.

I've been trying to figure out what to do with my life since college graduation. Thinking it's going to be journalism and maybe teaching later on. Interested to hear what you all do and what your career stories are... also if you're out at your job or not, and how you figured out or knew if you were going to tell coworkers. At my current job - just something to pay the bills atm - I'm not really making an effort to really talk to people that much. Some of them seem conservative enough that I might feel like lying and saying I have a boyfriend if it comes up in conversation... annoyingly had to turn down a couple numbers from weirdo men.

21 comments

i am a few months away from being a doctor, i am out to a dozen or so of my peers because i grew tired of having to lie through my teeth all the time.

That's amazing!! And thanks for the insight...

[–] winterghost 5 points Edited

thank you, i am very proud of this haha.

and yeah the coming out question varies wildly, i assume i will come out when working in a hospital at some point in my life, specially if i spend years there. it's not sustainable (for me) to lie through my teeth all the time, and if i do get married one day i am not gonna pretend my hypothetical wife doesn't exist.

edit: i also usually come out by mentioning past exes or whatever, i don't put on a show because i did that with close friends and it was (1) annoying (2) nerve-wracking. no one who knows has said anything to me about this, even the most right-wing people i know. if they say shit about me when i am not there, i don't care.

Wow congratulations! That’s an amazing accomplishment. My roomie is currently applying for med school and damn, that career path is not for the faint of heart haha

aw thank you!! it's been a tough journey for sure but worth it :)

I’m retired now. I never had much ambition about my career. I just wanted a good enough job to support myself so that I could do my art and activism. So I was a pink, and then white collar worker.

My advice to a young person now is: find a job that pays you more than you spend. Save your money and buy commercial real estate, or shares in a REIT. Make money the way that rich people do: collecting rent. Use the money you get for good: support women, give your friends gifts, produce cultural events for yourself and your friends.

[–] legopants 6 points Edited

No career, dead end retail job right now. No idea what I'd want to do for a career. I'm limited due to MONEY and chronic pain. When I was a child I wanted to be a vet, that never happened and I don't care enough about certain animals anymore (dogs). I thought about being a policewoman after that, my dad told me I wouldn't be good at it. I don't want to anymore with that either, I have issues with police from personal experiences. And with the hatred they face already, the mismanagement, me being a woman, not a good idea. I've thought about being a lawyer, but that's a lot. Maybe a paralegal though. My life's kind of at a standstill right now. For a lot of reasons many beyond my control. I think what I'm most interested in learning about and doing is becoming a physical therapist. Can't say I have feeling it'll ever happen, though. But also my brother's most likely going to own a certain international shipping company someday, and I'll be able to get a long lasting, good paying job there.

I'm not really out at work besides a few people. Some guy was talking in the break room about his sexuality and life and I came out then to him and three other people in the room I don't think were even paying attention, just to talk to him and offer up similar experiences. Then two other people, one just knew I kissed a girl because we were talking about first kisses, and probably told her friend, another gay man we work with, which idc. I didn't plan on telling coworkers and don't. It's not something I feel needs to be said, but if conversation goes in that direction, I talk about it. I live In a still pretty conservative and religious area, but "be nice" is so heavily stressed in this religion, if they're against anything, it's said in private behind your back or not at all. 🤷‍♀️

Definitely hear you. There ain't just one way to live, and lots of different paths include just as many different obstacles. And lol, I like that you don't give a f if they talk in private behind your back. That's the mindset I try to keep at work too, everyone who causes drama cares way too much anyways.

[–] Original_sin 0 points Edited

I live In a still pretty conservative and religious area, but "be nice" is so heavily stressed in this religion, if they're against anything, it's said in private behind your back or not at all. 🤷‍♀️

Yep, this has been my experience living in a state with a high population of Mormons (not sure if you are referring to the same religious group) and luckily they are mostly just judgmental about it privately.

I'm in grad school right now. I don't want to be that annoying person whose entire personality is being gay, and also it really isn't anyone's business. I don't lie if anyone asks, but people usually don't. I keep most of my personal life pretty private.

I've worked in previous jobs where it wouldn't have been a comfortable situation to come out, so that involved some creative wording to maintain plausible deniability. It felt better than actively lying.

[–] Wrexilexie 5 points Edited

I went back to school now to finish my Computer Science degree. Ut I've spent the last 10 years in Coporate America and worked with big name companies. During that time I never felt the need to "come out" at a job. It's not really the place for it. BUT if it comes up in conversation I dont hesitate to mention a gf, or ex gf, or my wife. (I don't have a gf and a wife) I live in a red state so you would think people would stone me or something. I've found that generally people either don't care, are cool with it, or are gay themselves and you've found a gay work buddy. These days people are much more accepting.

When I was at work, even in extremely professional settings such as academia, I was always out.

Always. It takes me a bit to get comfortable with my work place but once I see that if I’m out that they won’t hurt me or care or anything, then I come out. I’m very open about it and for the most part I’ve had no issue about coming out at work.

I started med school, I still don't know if I want to be out, but it's probably coming up eventually

I’m an author. I struggled for a bit, but I actually make really good money with my writing now. :)

I'm in cybersecurity :D

I am not out really at work, despite my manager being a very out and proud lesbian. When I first started here, the guy training us was gay and announced to our entire group that my colleague/friend was gay 'just like him' and how excited he was, so I never mentioned it to him/others because I don't really like people outing me like that.

My reasons for not coming out at work, except maybe to my good friends, is purely because I try to keep my work and personal life very separate. They keep pushing for me to have work email on my phone or slack but fuck that, I value my free time and privacy.

I’m currently in grad school to become a therapist (and I’m questioning this decision every damn day lol), but worked in case management before that for an early intervention preschool and absolutely loved my job.

Deciding whether to come out in any setting is so difficult. Sometimes, I’ll just mention past GF’s if someone asks about my dating life and if they seem like a safe person. Otherwise, I’m a pretty private person and keep it that way in work settings.

I'm an architect and physical planner (kind of like an urbanist?), graduated two years ago. I'm not out at my job and almost no one knows I'm a lesbian aside from some friends and a cousin. They've asked if I have a boyfriend some times and I tell them I'm happily single. They pried sometimes asking me why and my "I don't need one" answer seemed to leave them shocked lol maybe if they had asked if I have a girlfriend my answer would be "not yet". But really, its not anybody's business anyway, so I don't give them other openings to ask more than that.

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