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literally just the title. i dont know if its the attention they want or they think its fun to play gay for a day but i am at a loss right now with this.

literally just the title. i dont know if its the attention they want or they think its fun to play gay for a day but i am at a loss right now with this.

21 comments

It was done to me for years, and I think it’s honestly just another form of homophobia. It’s like you, you lez, your feelings aren’t “real”, this is all just pretend and a game.

You can't explain. You could point out how it's like if some man pretended to be nice and interested in them but they would be furious you compared them to shitty men. I think they get a kind of sadistic pleasure in it that is firmly rooted in lesbophobia.

THIS THIS THIS. that's why I hate how many les or bi glorify women in general. Women, in particular straight women, are so cruel to us honestly.

they don't get it and they will never get it.

also, loosely related story time: a few semesters ago a girl from uni kept giving me the impression that she was interested in me and "asked me out" on a vday date. when we were on said date, she suddenly started talking about her crush on a guy and how he rejected her/played with her feelings and how upset and hurt she still was. so basically she dropped all her hetrom shit on me while also having been flirting with me for the past few weeks/month. i went home quite upset and for a while i did not contact her - i was not crushing on her or anything, but i was in that stage where i thought i might develop feelings if she kept "wooing" me so to speak. i talked to a friend about this and she told me that another friend of hers, also a lesbian, had been lead on by this girl as well. so i thought, hm, typical straight girl behavior begging for attention from lesbians. fast forward a few months later... i found out that the guy who rejected her was a "transmasc" TIF. 😐 this is why we need to differentiate between men and TIFs/women and TIMs, i swear to god!!

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm glad highschool is over because girls would constantly pretend to like me.

they don't get it and they will never get it.

The majority of people, at a gut level, do not understand what it means to be a lesbian.

They do not truly understand the lack of interest in gaining the approval of men, nor do they really understand that we have no need or desire for men sexually.

Today, since everyone tries on identies like they change their clothes, people think lesbians do, too. It is a game to young women that think it would be fun to be with a lesbian but already know that they are straight (or bi).

They don’t understand that being a lesbian and living our lives as one, is as real as it gets for us. Not a game, not some imitation of heterosexuality, not roles that we play.

I think all of the above, they like the attention and think it is fun to sort of test out their abilities to make men do stuff for them on you, IME.

I was "lucky" enough to see that pattern really early in life bc girls would figure out they could get me to do things for them or fight off boys for them even if they weren't that interested in hanging out with me lol, you could really see them learning in front of you how to deploy the behaviors they're being programmed to use toward men/boys towards you also, and cataloging the results.

[–] ItsCalculated 12 points Edited

you could really see them learning in front of you how to deploy the behaviors they're being programmed to use toward men/boys towards you also

This. I have had a few "relationships" with women that treated me like straight women treat straight men. It's insulting. Now, when it comes to romantic connections I don't give the time of day to anyone less than women I am confident are lesbians through and through.

I'm so glad my bi gf treats me as her partner, not like if I was a straight man. She does romantic gestures, so do I. She big spoons, so do I. I do the chores, she does them as well... I have to usually call restaurants and kill bugs tho :( she opens jars and does the heavy lifting :)

I've just got my first gf (bi) and it's pretty much the same for us too. Equal roles really is key in same sex relationships.

Don’t bother. They just want a rise out of you and that’s it. It is a type of homophobia, treating lesbians as unworthy of basic courtesy

Is this a common thing now? Any particular age groups?

It’s very common on tinder and dating apps in and out of my area, where they even sometimes put “straight” in the orientation tagline

They don't usually listen. Best thing to do is identify patterns that straight women show that lesbians usually don't

You don't. Or rather, you can, but it's likely a waste of time.

You can't change another person's behavior - this applies to anyone, regardless of sex or sexual orientation. The best thing you can do is work on your own boundaries. If you find yourself constantly being played, shoring up your own boundaries should be your #1 priority imo.

(I'm not saying you should excuse anyone's shittiness, just that trying to change other people, however shitty they are, is a huge waste of energy better spent on yourself, and eventually on better people.)

I don't think explanations will help, only consequences will do. Those women need tough love.. to be shamed and told that what they're doing is wrong until it sinks in.

The sort of woman who does that is particularly selfish and just seeking attention at our expense. It's something that apps like Tinder readily encourage. So many people on there not interested in anything beyond the brief ego-boost of knowing that someone, somewhere desires them. Bruise their egos a bit and they'll think twice.

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