Couples are a plague on these apps. I like to match with them to tell her that her boyfriend is ugly and no self respecting gay woman would go within 10 feet of him.

Fun fact: they’re prohibited on Tinder (its on their TOS) so I like to drop that in before I roast them. What are they gonna do - complain to Tinder that someone’s breaking the rules? They’d be reporting themselves.

We should say ‘just because you put shit in your mouth, doesn’t mean you should expect other people to’