Wrong circle. And no, birth control and your cycle don't modify your sexual orientation to include women.

Hmm, I know this post is old, but the two bi women I dated in the past were not on birth control, whatever that's worth. On the other hand, I'm not entirely sure they were bi. This was back in our early 20's and they seemed to be heavily leaning towards women, so maybe they just hadn't embraced the term lesbian yet. (or maybe they really are just 90% lesbian bisexuals, I know I thought of myself in that camp for quite a while).

In terms of my personal experience, I know my preference for different sex acts changes during my cycle. If I'm ovulating I definitely beg my wife to get out the strap, but it's not like I'm suddenly craving an actual dick, so I'd be surprised if someone's actual orientation changed.

"I didn't include bis in a discussion about them because they might not respond positively" lol

That is a legitimate thing to do and is why we need exclusively lesbian spaces where we can speak freely about bi women without them being around.

The topic of the op is a little odd. But, yeah. Lesbians need spaces where we can talk about bi women without having to deal with their anger, opinions, judgement, etc.

This isn't about whether or not you want to date bisexuals though. This is explicitly asking whether bisexuals experience differences in attraction because of BC, which is not something we can comment on since we don't know personally or have data about it.

I never asked for a bisexual's personal experience. There is absolutely a chance a lesbian could connect up that her ex broke up with her around the same time she stopped birth control and post it here. That would be an experience someone on this sub would know and not feel as ashamed to admit as the ex that did the breaking (and really, if someone was the ex, I would not want to shame her either--chemicals and drugs do crazy things to brains and I won't fault them for it if it's true).

Okay. So long as the reverse is fine too.

Of course the reverse is fine. Bi women should have their own exclusive spaces. And lesbians would stay out of bi spaces. I wish the reverse was true, though, and bi women would stay out of lesbian spaces. It's infuriating to have a lesbian talk about starting a lesbian bar, social group, club, etc and have bi women asking if it's OK for them to be a part of what would then no longer be a lesbian thing.

[–] kephon [OP] -9 points Edited

Ovarit itself doesn't invite certain people to a discussion about them, and you know who I mean. Furthermore, I am not doing a case study or asking bisexual users to raise their hands if they're on birth control.

Wild guess: most of the users posting in /o/LovingWomen are not on birth control and this has nothing to do with them (I mean, you don't need birth control for contraception if you're female in a relationship with another female, and can they really ALL be on birth control for medical reasons? A majority?). However, they do face enough flak already that they may have a knee-jerk reaction even if they are not on birth control.

[+] [Deleted] 7 points

This is a interesting question and I do wonder if the ubiquity of starting birth control at puberty or shortly after has changed the way women perceive their own sexuality or how their sexual arousal and attraction works.

I've been wanting to make a thread about this since I did some research a while back but it turns out a large percentage of self-identified bisexual women are really Kinsey 1s (i.e. predominately straight with only incidental attraction to women) and a large chunk of these women end up calling themselves heterosexual after their early 20s. This group accounts for almost all of what "queer people" as well as researchers call sexual fluidity... bisexuals in the middle of the scale, who have strong interest in both sexes and date/have sex with both regularly, tend not to budge too much.

While I don't think birth control could make a woman strongly attracted to other women, or significantly change her sex preferences, I do think it is plausible it might make it so difficult for her to read her attractions or change them slightly so she thinks it's plausible she's sometimes attracted to women. Empirically it's been found that straight women do experience physical sexual arousal to other females despite self-defining as solely attracted to males and not actually especially desiring sexual interaction with females. So I can definitely see a change in arousal or attraction mechanisms, combined with the current zeitgeist around ~everyone is queer~ making it easy for an otherwise straight woman to believe that her normal ability to experience mild sexual arousal to females + changed pattern of attraction to males = "I am somewhat attracted to femininity so I am bisexual".

I have a female friend (who is heterosexual and in her mid 30s) who after a breakup with her boyfriend of 7 years went off birth control for the first time since her early teens... I am pretty sure she went back onto it because her menstrual cycle was so irregular after life-long hormones that she couldn't tolerate waiting for it to level out. There are definitely women who keep taking it even though they aren't in a relationship at all or with a man... it is exceptionally annoying to take on a regular schedule and some women stay on it simply because they don't want to get out of the habit in case they need it again. There are "feminist" doctors who promote taking it so you don't have to deal with menstruation anymore. There are also lots of women who keep taking it because it's a signal to them they're not "on the market" and if they still are vaguely looking for a male partner they don't want to feel like they've given up. There are a lot of women who take it for many years and don't stop and I think especially for a newbie to female-female relationships or someone essentially "fucking around" she might not want to cease use, at least not immediately.

I’m a Boomer in my sixties who came out in 1975. My generation and the one after mine called women who were lesbian or bi in their late teens - early twenties LUGS, lesbian until graduation. After that these women usually ended up married to a male and had children. I do know of a couple such women who still consider themselves bi and who I actually believe are bi. I think the rest are low on the Kinsey scale, 1s or 2s.

No, people have been trying to use hormones to change sexual orientation for decades. It does not work.

huh interesting.

im lesbian (duh) but I am on bc (because my periods were so freakin long and also I do not trust the world we live in today to care about me if I get assaulted). It's been a while since I started it, I was 18 and now im 23. TBH I can't say I remember much of a change. I've never been super into the butch/masculine aesthetic (open to it but it's not the first thing im drawn to), idk if that counts towards your theory (since either way my partner is going to be female) ??

[–] [Deleted] 1 points Edited

Um, why on earth did you think this was something to discuss here? What relevance does this have for lesbians??

Also no, I don't think BC makes women more likely to want to date women. That sounds like pseudoscience. Go ask a bunch of straight and bi women if they think BC makes them have different hobbies or makes them drastically change their sexual orientation. Let's see how long it takes for them to get the pitchforks out.

[–] kephon [OP] -7 points Edited

Sorry, did not realize we had all moved past ever considering dating bisexuals. I'll be sure to make a note of it.

Go read the book if you want to read the part about different hobbies. I did not make that up. I did not make up the heterosexual women in the studies changing their preference for types of men either. I don't think it's a stretch to say it could play a part in a very mild bisexual getting confused and thinking she's higher on the Kinsey scale than she is. Maybe it would be relevant for lesbians to observe and keep in mind?

If you're dating a bisexual woman and are monogamous, neither of you are going to be taking BC unless for a medical reason unrelated to pregnancy. Given the majority of women probably take BC because they don't want to get pregnant, it stands to reason that most women paired with each other aren't taking BC and so this doesn't really affect them.

I've also heard about straight women changing preferences for men based on ovulation and presumably BC. If you really want to know how MUCH this preference changes (which is the case here -- we are talking about whether this effect is subtle or not), I'd recommend asking actual bisexual or straight women.

If a woman is bisexual and is attracted to another woman, then she's attracted to her. Personally the Kinsey ratings don't mean much to me. You could say you're 80% into men, 20% into women, but ultimately you're bisexual and what matters is your attraction to your partner, regardless of sex.

If you're looking for a scientific discussion of the book and BC's effect on women, you'd be better served going to the science or stem circles.

By the way, I have no issue dating bisexuals, since you seemed to imply otherwise.

[–] kephon [OP] -1 points Edited

It is entirely possible to be meeting and courting bisexual women who are on birth control. It seems foreign to me, and likely many here since most probably don't take it, that someone would just take birth control and just...keep taking it while single. Even through a decade of being single. From what I understand, it is a pain to get off it and then back on it, and sometimes will change the reactions the second time.

So therefore, choosing women to date may end up with her getting off birth control sometime after going steady and torching what they had going on if the theory has any veracity. It applies to heterosexual relationships, and I assuming that it would have no effect at all on homosexual ones has as much evidence as the opposite, possibly less depending on how one views it. It could be none, it could be the same, it could be more, it could be slightly less...but it could be. I'm pointing it out and asking if anyone else has more to add.

In a perfect world, your interpretation of the Kinsey scale would be correct. Of all my bisexual friends, of whom are all lovely, no one ever describes their attraction so neatly. Furthermore, their actions do not always match up to what they profess which is often the case with human beings in general and not a flaw specific of any one sub-group.

It would not matter if you dated bisexuals or not. Some people here do, some do not, and all for a myriad of reasons. It is only confusing as to how you did not connect how this is relevant, since it could be relevant to you or someone like you.

You think outside the hive you get in trouble around here.

This isn't a hive. This is a circle for lesbians, lesbian topics, etc. No one is saying you can't talk about this stuff elsewhere on this site.

If OP wants to talk about whether bisexuals on BC experience changes in their attraction to men/women, then she should ask bisexuals. Is it really more respectful to come here and ask lesbians to comment on an experience they personally can't relate to? Is that respectful to either lesbians or bisexuals? Doesn't seem so to me. If the question were about lesbians on BC and if they experience any changes in attraction, that would be different.

[–] rmodrade 0 points Edited

Hello... Bisexual here. So glad i was lurking. Technically I was a lesbian for three years when I was on birth control. I went on the Mirena birth control IUD. After which i became totally disinterested in men and entirely same-sex attracted. Also my sex drive went up! I'm off the birth control now. Sex drive went way down and i'm back to being bisexual. Although, I'm not as bisexual as I was. I really think it does effect your orientation. It did for me. Also... Among the FTM's there is a lot of chatter that testosterone makes a bisexual woman straight. Another reason never to take anything of the sort!

PS: I was on Birth Control for medical reasons.

This is super intriguing. It might a reason for how so many bisexual women "lean towards men" or end up with men more frequently than women (don't know the stats, just guessing here).

That is an interesting theory that I would be surprised if there was any evidence for. But if it is at all plausible, it's one more reason to not date bi women.